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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Found out i have a blighted ovum - what's best?

46 replies

DownstairsMixUp · 29/08/2013 14:04

Hi all,

Sadly i had a scan today at 7 weeks, a sac measuring 21mm but empty so have been diagnosed with a blighted ovum. :'( Am absolutely devestated but am trying to deal with it as i have a lo from a previous relationship who i obviously adore, but still very sad for me and my current partner.

I have to go back next thursday for a standard scan again then to see a consultant to decide what's best. I've been told i can either have an ERPC or wait to miscarry naturally? What are peoples experiences of this? Obviously the idea of an op is always scary but i'm worried if i do let nature take its course it will take a long time and it's so painful right now, still having symptoms but knowing nothing is there.

Anyone have any experience of this?

Thank you x

OP posts:

petal86 · 11/09/2013 21:19

So am I, but we can do hand holding. (We may need to start a new thread) :)

My bleeding (like a period) stopped after a couple of days and then I had heavy spotting (brown blood) for about a week, but managed with the thicker panty liners. Today (day 12 after ercp) the spotting has become a lot lighter, and by the looks of things I'm hoping it will stop soon.

DownstairsMixUp · 11/09/2013 23:35

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petal86 · 12/09/2013 06:55

I wouldn't worry too much, I think that happened to me after and then it came back. The 'flow' hasn't been regular for me, sometimes light, sometimes heavier. I'd be more worried if it was really heavy and you were feeling unwell too - as that's a sign of infection.

DownstairsMixUp · 12/09/2013 09:08

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Wantohope · 12/09/2013 12:35

downstairsmixup I am so happy everything is well with you and you're not bleeding too much either. Well done, you've been very brave!
I am ok, alternating between hope and despair. This morning I was dancing on Daft Punk while getting dressed for work and then crying on the way to the tube. I cried everyday this week on my way home after work. Maybe because I can't stop thinking about it, but while at work I need to keep my feelings bottled up so I get some relief once I'm out of the office.
Have a lovely day and try to treat yourself with something if you can. I've had comfort food each day and I feel like stuffing my face in a big chocolate cake this evening.

Speak to you soon xx

DownstairsMixUp · 12/09/2013 18:40

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petal86 · 12/09/2013 19:08

Hey downstairs,

Still spotting which is frustrating more than anything. It'll be two weeks tomorrow since I had my ercp, and would very much like the spotting to stop now please! Other than that, I'm doing much better thanks.

Emotionally I feel like I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself. I still have sad moments, but they are getting fewer and I don't end up in tears. I'm trying to think positive and think about trying again. Although I think when (hopefully) I get pg again I think I'll turn into a jibbering wreck!? Oh well!

Sorry you're still on the emotional roller coasterwantohope, hope you start feeling a bit better soon. I have been comfort eating a lot recently too - chocolate has become a very good friend of mine!

DownstairsMixUp · 12/09/2013 19:55

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DownstairsMixUp · 12/09/2013 19:55

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petal86 · 12/09/2013 21:33

Yeah I understand - some days are definitely harder than others. Hope tomorrow is better for you!

I haven't been using opks, when we first started trying (nearly a year ago), I went a bit crazy with poas, tracking my temp and all of that - life started to revolve around 'smilie faces on sticks'. I have now sworn off all of that as it just stressed me out. Ironically the first month we didn't use anything, we got pregnant!?

Unfortunately I have a very low sex drive, so my desire to 'get at it' takes some encouragement. I'd much rather just have a cuddle in bed - but that's not going to make any babies!

I think we'll probably just wait till the spotting stops and then have a go before my next period and keep fingers crossed. What about you?

DownstairsMixUp · 13/09/2013 08:00

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petal86 · 13/09/2013 19:36

Thanks, I'll give it a try - willing to try anything!

I thought it was just me who had weird dreams! I had really odd dreams for a few nights. It took me about a week to get to get back to my regular sleep pattern. I think it helped when I went back to work, as I got back into a routine. I still find myself getting very tired - I was in bed asleep by 9 the other night!

DownstairsMixUp · 13/09/2013 19:40

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petal86 · 13/09/2013 20:02

Need some hand holding!

Just got the news that a very close friend of mine gave birth to a little girl this afternoon. I am so happy for them, but I am sat here in floods of tears! :(

DownstairsMixUp · 13/09/2013 20:30

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petal86 · 18/09/2013 19:11

Thought I'd check in.

Thanks for the support the other day downstairs - it helped.

How are you getting on?

lighthousesea · 20/09/2013 08:47

Thank you for this thread. Currently at the same point as you both post erpc. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

petal86 · 20/09/2013 18:14

Sorry for your loss lighthousesea, how are you feeling?

lighthousesea · 20/09/2013 18:50

I'm feeling ok thank you petal. I'm still off work so managing to keep distracted at home. However, i'm going back to work and being surrounded by pregnant people :(

lighthousesea · 20/09/2013 18:51

Dreading going back to work is what I was supposed to write above.

petal86 · 20/09/2013 20:21

I know exactly how you feel.

One of my colleagues was heavily pregnant, thankfully she is a very good friend and was very sensitive towards how I was feeling. It still affected me though, and although she is a great friend and I care about her a lot - I feel very jealous of what she has sometimes, while being really happy for her at the same time - it's very confusing!!

I was really worried about going back to work, but I was glad of the distraction. There are a couple of people at work who know what I have gone through - weirdly more people know I had a miscarriage than knew that I was pregnant?! It has been good to have some people at work who know, as they are understanding if I am having a down moment and are there if I need to talk. Is there anyone at work who you can talk to?

I wish I could sit here and say that seeing other people with bumps or babies, doesn't upset me or make me feel sad sometimes, but I can't. What I try and do is leave or excuse myself as quickly as possible from the situation, just to give myself a break. My hormones have started to settle down a bit (I had my ercp 3 weeks ago today), and I don't have so many big mood swings and I haven't cried for a week (progress!), but I still have sad moments.

Don't think you're alone, (unfortunately) there are lots of people who have and are going through this, but it also means that are lots people around and on here that are here if you need anything ('hugs', 'hand holding', to listen or if you just need somewhere to vent). :)

Hope this helps, thinking of you.

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