Friend and his wife just lost their twins at 23 weeks

[ClimbingPenguin]

I know I can't help much, but are there any little things I can do to show that they have support etc.

I have no idea how they must be feeling, but maybe providing some home cooked food they can just heat up? I can't imagine they will want to cook and it's important they keep their strength up

They have food all sorted apparently and they have family coming to stay, but I will bear it in mind for a few weeks once the initial help is over

Call or text and let them know you are thinking of them. I found flowers and cards very comforting as it let me know people were thinking of us. Ask them about their twins I found it hurtful that people who didn't acknowledge it even though they were probably just uncomfortable bringing it up. Listen to them when they want to talk, if they have other children offer to baby sit for them. Just being there if they need you really....it's such a shitty, horrible thing to go through but having support from kind friends like you and family makes a big difference.

Acknowledge that they existed. That's the big thing. A nice card with poem? That's something I did with similar. But biggest thing I learnt is absolutely acknowledge them.

This might seem like a silly question but how do you acknowledge it after the initial few conversations without it turning into a initiating a conversation for which he might not want brought up?

Not silly question. It can be hard. I find that if you're a person they know won't be weird if you mention it, then they will do. So with one person I know when they talk I would ask questions so they know I'm there, not going to run and not going to react weirdly. Then they know they can talk. But that's a little different as they lived for a bit so there's that to talk about. Using the names rather than avoiding is one thing. You could ask about funeral, ways they're going to remember them, stuff like that. Don't be scared of speaking out of turn and reminding them. They'll be thinking about it all the time anyway. It is hard though.