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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Can't breathe

1 reply

Elednor · 09/07/2013 16:44

I had some pain over the weekend, so they booked me in for an ultrasound. I only had a scan last thursday, at 7+6 where there were two little twins with two little heartbeats!

Today there was only one heartbeat.

Twin 1 was measuring 7+2 four days ago, and is measuring 8+3 today ... Can I take that as a good sign? The sonographer was quick, and didn't really tell me much (you should've seen how quickly she put the transvaginal probe in, ow) so I haven't had any reassurance. She told me to come back in 2 weeks to see if twin 1 is progressing and twin 2 is being absorbed.

I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my world. I had just come round to the idea of having twins, I was so excited. Now I may have no babies to take home with a two week wait to find out. I can't stop crying, I'm a total realist and had already looked at the statistics of a successful twin pregnancy, but for some reason in this one instance I'd managed to convince myself it would be fine. Even lying on the chair at the EPU today, I really didn't think anything would be wrong Sad

I'm devastated. I keep thinking about having another baby, or getting a puppy! Or something to replace it, you know? I know it's grief talking and I'd never actually go out and just buy a puppy, but there's this void in my life now that I can never fill.

DP has been brilliant even though he's heartbroken. We're trying to hold it together for DD but right now I'm lying in bed sobbing, feeling totally suffocated.

Thanks to anyone who managed to read my essay, I'm sorry it was so long. My head is all over the place and other than DP, I don't have anyone to talk to.

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Bakingtins · 09/07/2013 18:21

I'm sorry. That's horrible news to be faced with. It's a strange position to be in as well, you've lost a baby but you are still pregnant. I hope at your next scan you get good news about twin 1, and then you can work out how you need to grieve the loss of twin 2.

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