Recurrent Miscarriage Testing, trials and tribulations...Part 7!

[squizita]

Hi all, carrying on from part 6. All kinicker-checkers, blood-testers, clinic-attenders and finger-crossers welcome. Nothing but love and crossed fingers...

I'm sorry Picardy. I don't know if having that information will make you feel better or worse. Have you had karyotyping done? (not sure if that would be how they detect a translocation) If not I would push to get the bloods taken now because they take an age to come back (8 weeks or so) and if you did them now then you could have the information at your appointment rather than having another long wait for results.

Hi everyone.

Sorry I've been quiet. Been getting back after 10 from work every night this week. And I think they are going to block me in a promotion application. V fed up and want to resign immediately.

I'd love to comment but am just exhausted but want to check in.

Picardy, August sounds a long time. Why can't they see us IMMEDIATELY. It is so frustrating. I hope they have some good advice for you.

I am clueless on all of this for someone who has had 3 mcs. I really need to swot up.

I am still testing positive for pregnancy but I was told to wait another week. Given a long spiel about the risks of another ERPC - fertility/Ashermans etc. Funny I was never told these risks for the first one. Every bloody doctor tells you a different thing. They haven't a clue do they, really?

Frustrated.

Sorry, that was rushed and me me me. Picardy I am really sorry. I looked up the condition. My heart goes out to you.

Thanky, Baking and Donttry. Am still trying to absorb it - dh is away until Sun evening and dc2's daycare is shut today so am trying to entertain a 5yo and do some work as well as making parts of dc1's school open day, so no real time to absorb. Really distressed at the thought of my little boy, though - my would-have-been ds3 It's the first mc where I've found out the sex and it makes it even more real somehow, iyswim.

donttry, sorry things are tough and the drs are frustrating. How long is it again since your mc?
Have rung gynae about getting bloods done for karyotyping ahead of time. I don't mind the wait too much - they offered us an appt for mid-July but we are away. Plus if tests need doing the interval allows time for that.

Hi
Sorry I've been away. Work is mad at the moment in every sense from someone who was leaving messing with my spreadsheets to getting bitten breaking up a fight between small girls (always the bitterest of fights).

Picardy Sorry to hear you might have a translocation. Hold on to that might and also that most translocations don't completely wipe out fertility (according to the books I've read). You have DCs so hopefully the news will not be hopeless, and if you do have it, it will be one of those where there is still fertility. Mega prayers and crossed fingers.

Baking hugs and nothing but admiration for your strength at this difficult time. Whatever way the future takes you, I hope you will do amazingly.

Donttrythis Sorry to hear you're still in limbo. How frustrating! As for their advice - do ask for a second opinion if you are frightened. Asherman's is EXTREMELY rare. Don't let them scare you. Modern ERPCs are gentler than old fashioned D&Cs. Think about C sections - women have several kids by C section that is a WAY more intrusive procedure surgically with lots of risks.

As for me... waiting for the bloods getting nervous as I do every week. Feeling a bit of a failure. 35th birthday no baby, no promotion so can't even pass it off in public as career b*tch. Oh well, could be worse, I have a secure job, a fella and a house lots of people cannot say that in this day and age.

...a nurse friend told me of someone whose hand swelled up like a balloon after a human bite. This one did not break the skin but now paranoid LOL! If my typing gets messy it will be my giant swollen hand!

donttry sorry you're having such a rubbish time. I just wanted to say that I've had 2 erpcs and a csection and since all that I've had a sis scan which looked for adhesions etc and all was absolutely fine. Obviously they could see my csection scar but there doesn't appear to be any issues from the 2 erpcs. So please don't worry. As Squiz said Ashermans is very rare and erpcs are pretty gentle now. Not sure if this is an option but I had my last one done privately so a consultant did it.

Picardy I do feel for you. Its so hard. My 2nd mc was tested and we found out it was a boy with triploidy. Reassuring in that its not supposed to reoccur (although I still had another mc) but very weird to know the sex and it did make it more real. I always try to think of my mc as a bunch of cells rather than a 'baby' but that's much harder when you know the sex. I'm afraid I don't know anything about that condition but push to see a genetic counsellor and get the tests. I'm sure because you've got 2 DCs any problems cannot be insurmountable.

Squiz how did you get bitten??! Where do you work??! Sorry you're feeling down. It will happen for you though I'm sure. All the women who started the rmc thread seem to have gone on to have babies. But i grant you its shit journey and you're entitled to moan!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

My newest worry is since reading via google that after a mmc the fetus shrinks a week for every week it stays in there I've realised I must have lost my 1st one at 10 weeks which means I've not passed my own personal 'danger zone'. DH thinks I need to stop googling and he's probably right. Last night I had a banging headache and managed to find a discussion on headaches being a sign of mc...argghh!!!

Tea... DR GOOGLE IS AN EVIL MASTERMIND... stay away, stay away!

I know, I know....its like a compulsion!!

Tea step away from Dr Google. That's an order.

Tea don't do it Hun as for the headaches I had them for a couple of weeks was even sick with them at about 10 weeks but my midwife assured me it is a side affect of pregnancy it's due to hormones increasing do try not to worry to much mine stopped as quick as they started xx

Dear ladies,
I have been lurking on here, watching, crying and wishing along with you all.
I really want to offer you all hope but dont want to cause offence or upset, i know i was incredibly sensitive when this was happening to me.

If someone had come on here and told me what i am about to tell you, it would have given me such courage and hope for a very uncertain future. (I would also have thought in my head "fuck off, this only happens in magazines or in soaps")
So here it is, shortened version.

We had been ttc almost constantly for the last 13 years.
7 miscarriages to my name thus far.
All the tests at the expert centre at Liverpool revealed nothing. No reasons, no treatement, no hope.
I even miscarried while there while having hormone injections, asprin,industrial strength FA and monitoring.
After 3 years of trying and 2 miscarriages we concieved our son. Miraculously, we didnt do anything, he just happened. He is 10 now!

5 more miscarrieges over the next few years,finally, at age 42 i went and got the pill, that was it, 5th miscarriage only weeks previously we made the decision and that was that. No more.
Waited for my period in order to take the damned pill, it never arrived. Felt awful, very unwell and logically thought i must have retained products of conception or an infection.

Turns out i was pregnant again.

So, i planned that as soon as the bleeding started/symptoms stopped i would go and have a D&C/ERCP or whatever. (never had one before). That way i could have it on my days off from work, then back to work all done & dusted, no one need know anything.
Because i knew that i would again miscarry, i always do, and always will.

Hmmm...My gorgeous miracle is sitting up in front of me playing with his toys aged 5 months. I cant take my eyes off him, i cant believe he is here, i cant beleive that i have him.

Dont give up girls, dont give in, keep going, keep going keep going.
Love to you all xxxxxx

Jimi what an amazing story - thank you so much for sharing it and as you say it does sound like something off a soap, incredible and I wish you and your 2 DC the most happiness in the world. The body is certainly an incredibly mystifying thing!

Had a heart to heart with DH and I think we're going to pool resources and opt for trying Raj Rai privately and fingers crossed something magic happens.

Tea put some oven gloves on(so you can't have a sneaky google search) and keep away from Dr Google!!

Picardy I hope you're coping ok as I've never heard of what you're going through but hope you getting the support and advice needed to make things clearer. Hugs.

Tea, so glad you had a lovely scan, and headaches can obviously be for anything. Oven gloves a brilliant idea ha ha.

Baking, hope you are feeling a bit better, although in a way it must be a relief to just leave it all out after holding it together when the student was there. What did social worker say about adoption.

Squiz, what age were the vampiresses who bit you. Poor thing, as if you didn't have enough to cope with.

Lands, delighted you are 22 weeks!! Great news and an inspiration.

Polka, that's a big decision, and one not easily made. Glad you got there with it.

Welcome to the other newbies (d'ya hear me, sounding like an oldtimer)

blimey - it sounds like things are moving for you too. Positive vibes going your way.

I got a negative HPT this morning and I was THRILLED!!! Ha, that's a turn up for the books, being thrilled about. Going to get a scan if I can next week, but in the meantime will take OPKs and hope I ovulate. I have EWCM for ages, but docs said not signs of ov if BFP.

I'm away for the weekend so have a good, or at least bearable one. xx

Thanks everyone. I know I'm a neurotic nutter but I know you all understand! Lands thanks for coming back to reassure me once again!!

Jimi your story is amazing. I think I followed your thread last year and it was just as I was going through my last mc so was really inspiring. I reckon most recurrent miscarriers would probably end up with a baby if they keep going but its just having the strength to do that!

dontry yey for the bfn (whoever thought we'd say that...).

Polka glad you've for a plan. Dr Rai is supposed to be really good and hopefully you'll be able to get a bit done on the nhs through your GP too? I know Baking did lots that way.

Jimi - lovely story! Thrilled for you! Thanks for sharing, as you say it's a hopeful story.

Blood results back... I'm normal. Well, my blood is hahaha!

Squiz fab news! Does that mean you are signed off and free to go forth and multiply?

Jimi's story is lovely, but also the reason this is all so difficult. How do you know that it won't be "next time" that it works out? How many "next times" can you put yourself through? It just makes no sense that people can miscarry so many times, they can't find what is wrong, and yet they manage to carry to term sometimes. I would find either end of the spectrum (a diagnosis and a treatment plan, or the news that I'm never going to succeed) relatively easy to cope with. Vaguely hopeful stats for success but with no guarantee you're not always going to be in the unlucky 30% is a headf**k.

Squiz, great news! And for you, donttry. :)

Jimi, thank you for sharing your story, and I am so pleased everything worked out for you. I do agree with Baking - AFAIUI, if the translocation is confirmed that is exactly the situation we will be facing (have faced all along, but ykwim) - success is possible, and indeed we have been hugely blessed twice, but with the very real probability of having to go through loss after loss to get there. Certainly from where I am with this, it feels an impossible situation - we never know whether next time might be the time things all go right, or - not.

Tea, hand-holding also so you can't google

4-6 month wait for men in case it comes back. But as this coincides with my st Mary's testing it isn't too bad.

For me. Not men. Men trying to conceive may be waiting a long time!!

Quick dash message to say that I've booked my appt for Raj Rai in 2 weeks time - it says in the blurb that you should try to avoid getting/being pregnant until after the 2nd appt (ie when all the results are in). I know I'm being stooopid but I'm anxious I will miss a potential fertile window following a mc by doing this but also know, who the hell am I kidding?!

Hope everyone else is ok, apologies for me me msg!

Hi ladies, so sorry I have been so quiet. Work is busy right now and with being back at work have less time online.

Just reading back a little, I am sorry Picardy. Sounds like such a tough time. Please don't lose hope ((()))

Donttry, gosh hun, still in limbo :( Limbo is a horrible place, my heart goes out to you xx

Squizz what bit you? Are you OK now?

Jimi, lovely story thanks for sharing. So much heartache. so glad you have your rainbow x

Tea, fab news about your scan.

Sorry if I am leaving anyone out.

Happy July. Got my GP referral for the RMC- she couldn't book directly for St Mary's so I'll have to navigate getting an appt myself and it's looking like October before they'll see me. I can get an appt in 2 weeks time at the Royal Free Hosp in Belsize Park. Any advice? Would you wait for St Mary's or get the ball rolling with an unknown? DH's surgery is next week and he'll be hospitalised for 2 weeks+ so I'll be on my own for the appt which I'm ok with. I'm ringing the reproductive health center at the hospital where he's being treated about banking his sperm before the surgery or at least before the chemo starts. I haven't even had AF yet after ERPC. There's just too much going on

LB I would clarify what the situation is re referral from the GP. It would be great to get the initial tests done ASAP, and if they find a problem then you are ready to go whenever you and DH are ready. If they don't, do you still have the option of St Mary's, or is that then " you've had your referral, that's all we can do" as someone else was told recently. Thread is something about patient choice if you have a look.

Latebloomer - I would query that too. It sounds like you're in area for st Mary's! GPS can be quite clueless... Mine said we were out of area then the hospital kindly informed her we weren't.

I got bitten breaking up a fight between 2 small, girly girls. It was a hair pulling, biting, scratching one of the kind little girls can have... Mistaken identity. She thought my hand was the other girls! Not very macho haha!