Just how "unlucky" is it possible to be?

[Bakingtins]

Today I found out I'm about to have MC no 4. I've had all the tests, there is "nothing wrong with me". Even if you take the MC rate as 25% of pregnancies, that means I have less than a 1 in 250 chance of having 4 MC due purely to bad luck, most authors seem to use a lower figure of 15% of established pregnancies, which makes it 1 in 2000.
How is it possible to be that unlucky? Obviously somebody has to be the "one" but it feels so unfair.

Oh bakingtins, I don't have any answers for you I'm afraid, but how devastating for you. I've had a mc & can't imagine having to go through the pain of it 4 times. I am truly sorry.

So sorry, Bakingtins. :(

Bakingtins, my heart is breaking for you. So very sorry, x

Oh no Bakingtins I am so sorry. You've been a pillar of strength for me and so many others in just the short time I've been on here and this is just too unfair for words.

I accidentally pressed on this and I am so sorry for you x

Oh sweetheart, my heart sank when I saw it was you, you so do not deserve this. I had everything crossed for you. I just want to say I am thinking about you and sending you all my love, you have been so wonderful to so many women on these boards.

baking tins, my internet went down last night just as I was reading your news (it's twenty here), and the other thread is to big for my phone and then remembered someone mentioned another thread, i'm absolutely gutted for you sweety, it's too awful.

I'm sorry to hear your news. When you say you have had all the tests, does that include the less mainstream tests such as for NK cells, alpha matching, etc?

Bakingtins I am so so sorry. As the others have said says you have been such a support for all us on here. Much love and thoughts.

Bakingtins, it really is very very unfair. I'm so sorry. Your wise words and compassion helped me through a terrible time (posted re MC under different name). Thinking of you now.

Baking, I'm so so sorry :-(

Euro no, I haven't had the more controversial tests. Have ordered another book to read up about them, but not sure DH will go for it. We've already spent a lot of money and initial research seems to suggest unless you are near London then nobody is doing them.
I'm really hoping I can have an ERPC and tissue tested this time (what a strange thing to be hoping for!) as I need to know if my body is rejecting a potentially healthy embryo or if the consultant is right and I have an "unfussy uterus" that is accepting dud embryos. So frustrated that I have to wait a week for 2nd scan and then potentially wait again for ERPC, will be bloody furious if I actually MC in the meantime and lose that opportunity again.

Baking, I had that ridiculously lung wait for 2nd scan. I just wanted to say that at my 2nd they still wanted to wait. It was only us saying no, that we wanted this to move ahead, that got the ball rolling. Mmc can be a slow process.

You've been on my mind. A woman was taking on the radio about scans and really understood how they aren't pleasant experiences.

Hi baking, having investigations is one of the reasons I have opted for surgical management. I was advised the last time that if I could catch the sac in a clean container that could be sealed they might test it. I just don't know just how much presence of mind would be required to orchestrate that, or whether all hospitals would offer testing anyway.

It sounds like Lesley Regan is the go to person for recurrent mc. You could fight for a referral, but you might need to be prepared for a long wait.

Couldn't read & run. So sorry tins. You gave me so much advice & support through my MMC. My heart is breaking for you. Big hugs x

I'm never sure how helpful personal stories are (as it doesn't change your situation and sadly I know not everyone has a positive ending) but I've had four mcs in a row. And then a baby, who turned one recently. I couldn't have kept going if I wasn't trying some slightly different treatment each time. I agree it's all centred in London - I had to travel 400 miles each way for every appointment, but was worth it.

Iggi I'm pleased to hear you had a happy ending. Who did you see in London? What did you do differently in your successful pregnancy?

Hi baking tins. So sorry to hear that, I saw your other thread about the scans too. Euro and Iggi are right, there are a lot more tests to have. I had 4 mcs before being treated for high nk cells. Several of us on these threads saw Mr Shehata at the Miscarriage Clinic. You can ask your doctor for an nhs referral for him at Epsom or St Helier 'a hospitals in Surrey. Also professor Quenby is treating and researching recurrent miscarriage including nk cells in the midlands. And George Nduke is in Nottingham I think. I also saw St Mary's in paddington but they were unable to offer me any more than the low dose aspirin I was already on. However two attempts on steroid and intralipids for nk cells and I had a successful pregnancy. Ask away if you have any questions.

Thank you freelance. I think once this is behind us then that's an avenue we need to explore if we can bring ourselves to try again. I'm hoping to find out in this pregnancy whether it's a dodgy embryo or whether my body is destroying them
I've ordered the "Coming to Term" book someone recommended but it's been v slow arriving, and I've already read Lesley Regan's book. Can you recommend a good website or book to learn about NK cells?

Yes get Is Your Body Baby Friendly by Dr Beer. He was a pioneer in this area. Recurrent miscarriage is truly shit. I know you're feeling horrible right now. I know after my third I went headlong into research mode but actually found out about nk cells on the MN mc boards! Without those I don't think I would have had DS. Don't stop looking for answers just yet.

Thanks, I will.

Baking tins have pm'd you.

I've had TORCH screen, swabs, uterus/ovary scan, hormones (FSH/LH) thyroid tests, raft of tests for APS, clotting and autoimmune disorders, antimullerian hormone, full blood counts and ferritin.
My miscarriages have all happened between 8+10 weeks, first and this one will be after a heartbeat has been seen, not scanned before they happened in MC2+3 so don't really know how far the baby got.
I don't really believe I'm "just unlucky" but that's what I keep being told!
I'm looking into testing for NK cells, particularly if I'm able to get this embryo tested and it doesn't have any chromosome problems.
Any other suggestions where to go from here appreciated.