Am I Just Being Stupid and Wishing the Impossible?

[cerysmax]

This time last week I was in the awful throes of mc. I feel numb now, although I occasionally have a good howl and expect this to continue for some time yet.

Anyhow, the baby was a huge surprise but SO welcome. We all loved our Morgan so much. We are seriously considering TTC but I'm 47!!! I would love some upbeat stories of those in late 40s who have completely healthy babies. I have read all the stats and they are freaking me out.

I had already beaten the odds in getting pregnant at my age and am wondering if, once again, I can beat the odds and go the whole way? The really silly thing is that I thought our family was complete (have 2 beautiful DC, although not with current husband), but this baby has made me realise that it isn't. By the way, had my DD when I was 36 and DS at 38, after years of being told I would never have children!!!

Any thoughts? Trying to change our lifestyle (didn't before as obviously thought it would not happen). Any tips on improving our chances? Any ideas about baby aspirin? Does anyone believe that some women just have later fertility than others?

Please any positive stories would be very very welcome. x

My cousin had twins at 46, her first children! BF had her 2nd at 43 after 2 MCs. I know lots of 40+ mums.
Some women do maintain fertility well into their forties. Do you know when your mum went through menopause, as it often gives you an idea when you will. There are also tests that will give you a realistic idea of your ovarian reserve ( day 2 FSH/LH, anti mullerian hormone, ovarian scan mid cycle). I'm sure you know that chromosome abnormalities and MC rates rise steeply after 40, but even so if there are good eggs left in there then you have a chance of a healthy baby.
I've been investigated for recurrent MC and no cause found, so am on all the therapies which "might help, can't hurt" 75mg aspirin, 5mg folic acid, 2 x 400mg progesterone pessaries. It remains to be seen if it helps. The progesterone you'd have to persuade someone to prescribe, the rest you can do yourself.
Good luck.

Hi Baking.....thank you for your kind words.......cos I feel like I am clinging onto little or no hope!!!!

Was your cousin natural conception? And I have looked at 5mg Folic acid, but cannot find anywhere that sells it on line. Pretty sure I wouldn't get it prescribed as I am 'too old'!!!!! Any ideas?

Do you know whether the progesterone cream is effective as you can get that from Amazon?!!!! x

I'm just taking handfuls of the 400mcg folic acid tablets that you can buy in any chemist. My consultant would have prescribed the 1mg tablets which I think is the strongest they make, but it would still be 5 tablets and as I have to pay prescription charges I haven't bothered.
I had a look at the progesterone cream on Amazon and it's 25mg per pump - I'm on 800mg a day! Also I'd be doubtful about whether you can absorb much across your skin. The Cyclogest are pessaries that you have to insert vaginally or rectally as they have to be absorbed across a mucous membrane.
I think, although it wasn't discussed, that my cousin had IVF, but the children are definitely genetically hers (spitting image) so not donor eggs. My friend conceived naturally.
Only you can decide if you want to try again. I think it's a very natural reaction to a loss to want to somehow put it right or fill the gap with another pregnancy, without that really ameliorating the loss. If you are strong enough then go for it.
I'm 38 and have had 2 losses trying for a third child, plus another MC 4 yrs ago, currently pregnant again. I think this is our last chance (but I said that last time too...) I can't take it any more.

Hi Katatonic...wow, you speak a lot of sense. TBH, I am considering acupuncture, just not sure how successful it is really. But, hey, will give anything a go.

I know in my heart that many women in their 40s get pg and have successful pregnancies, but then my head is telling me I'm 47!!!!!

But, yes the desire is overwhelming. Good luck both of you and thank you for taking the time to reply. x

Hi cerysmax ,sorry to hear about your miscarriage, your story really struck a chord with me as we were in a similar position last year. I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly at 44. We have three dc ,now aged 20,13 and 9 and thought our family was complete but it felt so right to be expecting no 4. Unfortunately I started bleeding and went on to miscarry at 11 weeks. Like you I felt a sense of incompleteness, partly grief for the little one lost and partly that "empty arm syndrome" and longing for another baby.
We decided to try again. I had an Anti Mullerian Hormone blood test first to check ovarian reserve. This came back as low but good for my age so I started on pregnacare conception tablets and charting my temperature to check when I was ovulating. I waited one cycle and got pregnant straight away but went on to miscarry at 6 weeks. We didn't wait and I conceived again straight away. This time I had a few early scans that showed a heartbeat and normal development but a scan at 10 weeks showed the baby had died a few days before.I opted to miscarry naturally again and lost this one a few weeks later.
I'm now 45 and currently miscarrying for a 4th time,started at 5.5 weeks. My DH has recently said he thinks we should stop trying.He's worried about the effect another pregnancy (or loss ) would have on me, worried about the increased risks of the baby having problems due to my age and he finds it really hard making babies and losing them. Losing the first one had devastating effects on the rest of the family, especially DD1 who's 13 so we hadn't told them about the subsequent pregnancies.
I still feel torn about stopping ttc,it's hard to give up the dream of that last baby and I think i will always feel someone is missing from the family. I have been thinking of starting a thread asking for people's experiences of coming to terms with pregnancy loss and never having another baby.
The doctor told me any pregnancy would have at least a 50% chance of miscarriage at my age. I did have a progesterone test 7 days after ovulation to check ovulation/corpus luteal function which came back as normal but couldn't have any testing for the miscarriages due to my age. I was advised if I got pregnant again I should take aspirin but I did last time and obviously still miscarried.The problem can be that the eggs are just too old.
I don't want to put you off and I completely understand what you're feeling, so sorry if my story isn't positive ,if you do decide to try again you might want to join the fantastic 40 thread on the conception site where there's lots of support and several over 40 pregnant ladies!