Late Missed Miscarriage: In Limbo Waiting for Post Mortem Result

[ravengirl]

I was just wondering how long others had to wait for a meeting to discuss their baby's post mortem result after a late miscarriage.

My partner and I have been chasing and chasing for three months now and, without going into too much detail, we are still either being told nothing or being fobbed off.

It was my understanding that I should have received a letter re. meeting with the consultant after six weeks then, after eight weeks or so, we should have received the PM meeting letter? So far though, nothing. Not even a callback from the hospital complaints team!

Is three months a normal wait time for PM result or have others had to wait a lot longer?

Our lives are on hold until we have some news (of any kind)...

Hi OP I lost my baby at 19 weeks back in Feb and our consultant appointment is only on 17th June. We are frustrated too because we really want to know what happened if they can tell and to get some sort of closure. We also don't want to start trying again until then as we are terrified of this happening again, I also had an early loss in May last year too. Hang in there it could take a while, my bereavement midwife said tests on the placenta take at least 12 weeks.

Hi N. Sorry to hear about your losses. As my hospital has managed the communication with us so very badly these past few months it is really good to hear from someone else to try to figure out what's 'normal'. If I had been told that the placental test results would take that long I wouldn't have taken my bereavement counsellor's pleas to chase them so seriously. I have asked my partner to continue the chasing our bereavement midwife as I have come to the point where I have to stop myself from biting her head off because of all her skirting around and fobbing me off. I just don't think she has a clue.

After a very premenstrual in-person visit to find out what was going on (at my counsellor's suggestion ? not a great idea as I ended up bawling my eyes out!) the bereavement midwife finally called me again, assuring me that the letter was in the post. This, of course, got our hopes up whenever the letterbox went every day for two weeks. I called again and ended up being passed from department to department; got a callback a couple of days ago and got her to confess that no such letter had actually gone out! Another promise from her that she would call with an update yesterday; no call; more chasing today. It's all very tiring and makes me wonder why someone in her position would lie about such a thing, knowing what position we are in at the moment...

In the blur of it all I don't think I can remember having attended the 'six week appointment' that I heard so much about at the time. I went to see my GP to tell him that my pregnancy test was negative and get the all-clear. My June appointment is a referral I asked my GP for back then to discuss my fibroid in more depth. The letter was so ambiguous though that I, at first, thought it was for the PM meeting. It wasn't until I called up to ask exactly what it was for that I was put right.

I completely sympathise with your fear of TTC again. Let me know when you have news. x

I'm sorry your hospital have been so shit, I can't believe your bereavement midwife mugged you off with promises of a non existent letter....appalling! Especially at a time when you are still so emotionally raw and just want answers so that you can begin to come to terms with the whole thing.
I will let you know what they say but TBH my little one was only measuring at 14 or 15 weeks so they did warn us that we may not get an answer. They couldn't even tell us the sex so we will find out that too...I think baby was a girl though.

It took well over three months for my sons PM results. If you dint mind me asking- what gestation where you? Ours took a long time as he was 27 weeks- not sure what gestation you were but in England the only place that does PM on premie babies is great ormond street which is why ours took so long, but I remember how horrendous the wait was do I feel for you. If you were under 24 weeks I'm not sure who does the PM. I didn't go through my gp for anything as they were completely hopeless. I would call the hospital directly like you did but I still had to chase them up for appointments-

I did have to have my PM results to get the appointment with the consultant though as the consultant goes through it for you to explain what all the jargon means. Perhaps thats why you are being fobbed off- inexcusable though. Once they set me up with a pregnancy plan for when we get pregnant again including frequent scans and consultant care.

I lost my baby 4 weeks ago, we were 17 weeks pregnant. We decided to have a full PM and were told it would take up to 3-6 weeks, after reading alot of other storys now im going to prepare myself for a much longer wait. We were also told that if we wanded to find out the sex of our baby it could take a further 6 weeks, we buried our baby last week not knowing the sex, im starting to wonder if we should of waited now.

Hi all. I received another appointment letter at the weekend (the reason was as clear as mud, as usual) so I spoke to the boy on the appointment line quite a few times on Monday to ascertain what would be covered in the meeting. Finally he confirmed that the post mortem result would be discussed. The date of the original appointment was due to be the day before what was supposed to be my due date (!) but I managed to get the appointment pulled forward by two months to tomorrow morning, so now I have a head full of questions, which may or may not be answered.

I was in my 21st week when I had the dreaded ultrasound scan. I had heard a strong heartbeat in my 16th week so it could have happened any time between then.

We weren't told anything re. how long it would take to specify the sex but I think I know from what I saw. shellmck, I'm sorry you have the regret of not having found out the sex of your baby but you mustn't beat yourself up about it. I feel regret for not having seen our baby's face. My DP feels the same, but you have to do at the time what you have to do to get through.

I called my local PALS last week. They told me to call the complaints department at my hospital instead, which I immediately did, leaving a voicemail clearly stating my name, phone number and reason for calling but I have heard nothing back yet. My bereavement midwife still hasn't called either. My DP is furious and is planning to draft a letter to the Chief Exec. of our hospital to make sure that this whole farce is dealt with.

I am trying to prepare myself for not having many (if any) of our questions answered tomorrow. However, after putting nearly everything on hold for the past three months, we have finally booked a week's holiday. One great thing to look forward to, at least.

Hi OP, how did your appointment go yesterday? Did they have any answers for you?

Hi N. Sorry for the delayed reply. I went in there prepared for anything and all that the consultant could really say was that it was one of those cases of 'bad luck' i.e no obvious reason.

His sex was confirmed and that he died roughly around the 16 week stage. (The fact I had carried him for at least a month may explain my antenatal depression.) He was small for dates ? the growth restrictions would have had something to do with his death but they can't pinpoint exactly what the cause of that was; perhaps a chromosomal abnormality, but she said that would have been a 'one-off' and unlikely to occur again in a subsequent pregnancy. They could find no infections and confirmed that I am immune to the parvovirus. My overall clotting function is normal but I had bloods taken afterwards to check for thromophilia (sticky blood syndrome). I asked about my fibroid and but was ruled out. I asked about unknown natural killer cells and she said that is all currently at the theoretical stage. I asked if I should be worried about my ovarian reserves so she had my bloods taken for FSH testing.

I am not sure if they tested/could test my placenta but I have put in a request for a copy of my medical records so I can go over everything.

I have my referral to discuss my fibroid the day after we get back from our holiday. I should get the test results back then and hopefully have enough time left to also discuss a pregnancy plan.

Lots to process and reflect on but I suppose we both feel a lot better for having finally met with someone to talk it all through and know that there was nothing obvious and worrying that may have caused it.

I feel a lot more positive about trying again. I am not quite sure what has changed but I suppose it is to do with feeling like things are moving again.

How are you feeling about your meeting in a couple of weeks' time?