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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

ERPC tomorrow and scared stiff!

21 replies

NoahsMummyJul12 · 15/05/2013 15:00

I have my ERPC tomorrow 13 days after finding out I have had a mmc (suspected partial molar). I have been kind of on autopilot i think since last Friday when they booked me in but today I am starting to get very emotional. I feel sick and am so worried about the surgery it self - my last GA was due to a crash c section so was a very scary experience. I know it will be nothing like that but I cant help but feel panicky.

I am looking forward (if thats the right phrase doesnt sound right but only one i can think of) to move on from the physical part of all this so I can start to grieve and move on emotionally but now it is so close I am really anxious

Sorry for the rant i just had to get it out x

OP posts:
Bakingtins · 15/05/2013 16:31

You'll be ok. It's a short GA and an (unfortunately) very common and quick procedure. I'm sure the anaesthetist and surgeon will look after you. I think you'll find it a huge relief to move on from limbo land and to start the physical and emotional healing process.
Thinking of you tomorrow. Hope it goes as well as possible in the circumstances.

squizita · 15/05/2013 21:13

It will be OK, horrible as it is to me personally it's the quickest and I found least painful way. You just go in, you go to sleep and wake up in recovery. They dose you up so it isn't sore. It's all very calm and 'routine' not like any kind of emergency. The docs will come and speak with you before too.

BTW I had a 'suspected' molar and freaked out but was advised that it means the chances are slashed from 1/600-1000 to 1/50-100 ... so still not that likely. Even with a partial molar, most people don't need treatment just the blood tests. Good luck, hope the wait for results isn't too horrid.

teaandchocolate · 15/05/2013 21:37

So sorry for what you're going through. I've had 2 erpcs and they're both been absolutely fine. Honestly! No problems with the GA (was actually nice to be knocked out and not think about the mc!). No pain afterwards except light period type cramps. The emotional side is far worse. Please don't worry you will be fine. And you're right, for me it was the best way to move forward. Best of luck

Tomkat79 · 15/05/2013 22:27

Aww noahsmummy try not to panic. I'd seen loads of operations as a student nurse and consequently was bloomin terrified about ever habing a GA. The staff will be lovely and you'll meet the gyn dr and anesthetist beforehand, that really put my mind at rest.

Once in the prep room it's a sharp scratch and then sleepy time. I woke up quite startled wondering where on earth I was...then it all came flooding back. It was relief I felt initially and indeed for the rest of the day. I was pain free which was lovely, as had been cramping all morning prior to the op.

Recovery so far physically has been fine. Minimal bleeding and no cramps, am hoping they left nothing behind. DH says I'm back to my pre-preg hormonal self and only v faint line on HPT this morning.

The enormity of the past 10 days has hit but have somehow felt stronger and more able to deal and look forward since the op.

Really hope you can get some rest tonight and are not too anxious in the morning. They will take good care of you.

Will be thinking of you x

Tomkat79 · 16/05/2013 17:24

Hey you, are you home? X

NoahsMummyJul12 · 16/05/2013 18:06

Thank you all for your messages yesterday and today

I am home and had no complications, I went down at around 9.30 and was discharged before 12 as recovered quickly.

Was a little worried when the pessary caused a very heavy bleed wih huge clots and thought it was going to happen naturally at the last hurdle. Thankfully it didn't and I didn't bleed much more in surgery. They think they got it all and have sent it off for analysis. Should hear in about 2 weeks apparently though will believe that when i see it.

I Have been sat on the sofa watching tv and didn't realise where the time went!

I am a little surprised at how calm and relaxed I am at the moment. I have hardly any bleeding and little pain . Very tired though

How are you doing today tomkat? X

OP posts:
Tomkat79 · 16/05/2013 19:14

Bless your glad all went ok. I remember thinking the pessary was going to start me off....think that was more scary than the GA! Were the staff lovely to you?

I was also very calm and relaxed afterwards, accompanied by a sense of relief. Not too sure what they put up our bum afterwards but I was certainly pain free and chilled for the rest of the day!

The following day I think it hit me more both emotionally and physically but I must say that as the days have gone on I am certainly feeling brighter and more positive which is good. Just be prepared, as I'm sure you are, for a dip.

Braved a HPT earlier, negative, which means body is doing something right!

Keep resting xx

NoahsMummyJul12 · 17/05/2013 10:49

The staff were lovely everyone was so kind.

Yes I was wondering what they put up there as felt no pain and so calm for most of the day. Was up drinking a cup of tea and eating a ham sarnie within 45 mins of the surgery.

It really has hit me emotionally today though! Physically I have no pain and the bleeding has totally stopped. But Today i just want to hibernate, I feel empty and don't know how to feel about anything. It it finally feels like it is all over and I am not sure I can cope with the overwhelming grief I feel today :-(

Am glad to hear your body is moving on and getting back to some sense of normality, I am sure your are emotions are no where near this point yet though.

Your support has really helped me through this and am so pleased I found this forum xxx

OP posts:
Tomkat79 · 17/05/2013 11:27

Hits ya like a frickin steam train doesn't it. But I promise you it will ease. Just feel what you feel and go with it. I was angry, sad, felt an over whelming emptiness and just then felt numb, then it starts all over again.

Yesterday was an ok day and today I'm alone all day for the first time since the MC. Today I reserve the right just to feel sad and mope.

Do keep posting on here. It's really helped me too. Xx

NoahsMummyJul12 · 17/05/2013 13:57

Thank you Tomkat and I don't blame you for reserving the right to mope it is definitely needed

I have started to be really sick and can't keep anything own, not sure what that's all about :-(


OP posts:
Tomkat79 · 17/05/2013 15:44

A GA can make you really sick..they might've given you a large dose of anti emetic that is now wearing off. Hope that passes soon as if its not rotten enough x

squizita · 18/05/2013 15:54

I found the hormone changes and after the GA, I felt sick over several days. They should have given you a phone number if you're worried but it should be OK.

Tomkat79 · 18/05/2013 18:39

Hope your not still puking noahs


NoahsMummyJul12 · 18/05/2013 22:30

Puking has stopped thank goodness but oh my the headache that it has left behind is blinding! My head is splitting! Guessing its the hormone changes or something but if it continues til Monday will be off to the drs

I hope you are doing ok today Tomkat x

OP posts:
CupcakeFanatic · 19/05/2013 10:44

I hope the headache subsides soon NoahsMummy. Send you some healing wishes xxxxx

squizita · 19/05/2013 11:39

Ouch, do hope the headache finishes soon. Go to the docs if they hurt - s/he can give you strong painkillers if nothing else (and swab for infection which with a headache is unlikely anyway).

I must say hormone changes are such a pain at the moment. One of those things no-one tells you about - they were so different with ERPC to natural - until you turn up to the Docs terrified (as I did yesterday Blush ). Horrid though they are, I was assured they would eventually fade and weren't serious.

Tomkat79 · 20/05/2013 09:57

Bless you, hope they have subsided a bit? I found that roll on 'Forhead' ? really good when painkillers just didnt touch it. I know what you mean though, a hormone headache is just shocking.

Me and DH had a day out yesterday, lil road trip to London to pick up some furniture and then I dragged him around Ikea. We laughed lots which felt strange but oh so needed.

How are you doing emotionally? Xx

NoahsMummyJul12 · 20/05/2013 10:37

Laughs are definitely needed, think there is some truth in it being the best medicine! How are you doing today?

The headaches are coming and going and apart from that I actually feel pretty good physically. Emotionally is a different story, one minute I am fine the next I am in bits. Silly things set me off! Thankfully Noah is providing many a laugh and distraction at he moment.

Having to plan my return to work today which is quite sad though is also a distraction i seem to have gone into practical planning mode. (had all worked out I wouldn't have returned just gone straight from maternity to annual leave back to maternity not that work knew that thankfully I was waiting til after the scan to tell them) Thankfully managed to get a nursery place at the one i liked before i found out i was pregnant or not sure what I would have done! Still have just over 2.5 months to go before i return so will definitely make the most of it


OP posts:
Tomkat79 · 20/05/2013 18:26

Hi ya, I'm doing good ta. Each day is getting easier and I've been able to look at bumps and babies in the playground today and just be pleased that they made it (bit odd I know!) rather than think why not me.

Do you know I hadn't even considered that you were still on mat leave after having Noah. Lovely that you have the rest of the summer (!) off to enjoy it with the little guy and DH.

Take each day at a time emotionally. I had a massive guilty hour on Saturday but just tried to go with it and it passed. Sorry if TMI but have also stopped bleeding now post ERPC which is nice so hopefully won't be too much longer now for you either xx

NoahsMummyJul12 · 21/05/2013 10:53

Glad to hear each day is getting easier. It doesn't sound odd and is a positive outlook on things.

Yes will be nice to be off I just hope we get a summer! I was officially due back next month but tagged on some paternity and annual leave to extend it by a couple of months.

Glad the bleeding has stopped for you, mine has also stopped I didn't actually have much at all and it stopped on Sunday so am wondering if it will start up again at some stage as expected more. TMI also but the constipation I have had for weeks has cleared so I think the hormones must be dropping also as I had it all the way through with Noah as the hormones seem to have that affect on me.

How long did you wait before doing your first pregnancy test? Thought I may wait 2 weeks.

Hope you are doing ok today x

OP posts:
Tomkat79 · 21/05/2013 11:05

Morning my lovely

I waited a week post erpc before testing on a clearblue indicator one, said I was preg 1-2 weeks. Was satisfied from that that levels are dropping at an ok rate. If I could have last week again though I wouldn't have done that as the flashing 'pregnant' was all a bit much tbh. I think you're right to wait 2 weeks. DH reckons I'm back to his pre-preg hormonal mrs :-)

Yep my constipation has also eased and I've gone the other way. Largely due to the sheer volume of crap I'm consuming I would think. Comfort eat doesn't really cover what I've been shovelling in so have decided that this week I will pull back the intake and be a little kinder to myself. Once that bag of milkybar buttons has gone that is. ;)

So glad your bleeding has stopped. Like you I was waiting for a cramping session/big bleed 1 weeks on from erpc (damn you google), but nothing. I'm sure you will be absolutely fine.

Cloudy old day here. Longing for the summer sunshine.

Sending you lots of positivity and love for a good day today x

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