Hi ladies,
First of all, I am so sorry for your losses!
I happened to have 2 m/c within 6 months, first one ended naturally at 6th week, and it was a routine us for the second one, that showed that despite being 13th week, the baby died at 9 weeks, baby's heartbeat was not detected, morever, they have found it is a molar pregnancy and I had erpc just the next day.
First 3 days after the erpc I was head over the heals because of tremendous relief - probably mole has caused that I lived these 90 days in pain, spending long days lying on the sofa, being unable to look after the house, even cooking for myself nor going out of the house. It was incredibly exhausting.... But today I suddenly started crying.....then it became normal again.... I wonder how long will my mood swings last.... I know it does vary from woman to woman. I barely bleed at all, but I am "prepared" it can come and go now and again for several weeks.
I am happy that seeing women with bumps and babies does not make me feel horrible and hating everyone around who is luckier than me. I even smile, they do not disturb me. I think, I was so overwhelmed with grief 6 months ago after my first mc, that I phisically can't experience the same pain again. Probably became immune. And now I don't give a damn if I have baby in the future or not. Or maybe it's my hormones at the moment?
I hope I will not need chemotherapy for my mole (it causes cancer), now waiting for results from the lab. In the meantime I had my toes and nails done, painted in beautiful red colour, looking through spa offers, had great coffee body scrub, next week we are going for holidays to France with my husband - I MUST not get pregnant for at least 6 months - for my own sake - so now my health and well being is my priority - decided to restore myself, enjoy the life and be happy whatever happens to me - if I become a mom or not - I know will be strong, positive and very happy.