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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

My 11 week miscarriage

6 replies

Apileofballyhoo · 09/03/2013 22:50

I see lots of other posters have had multiple miscarriages, I've just had one. I have a living DS of 5. I suppose I feel I have 2 children. Is that understandable. I wish that it was more acceptable to talk about my baby and not my miscarriage or the miscarriage. Because I feel my baby died, my wonderful lovely darling baby who was so small he fitted in the palm of my hand. I never even heard his heart beat but I loved him. I just want to know if there are other women like me out there who feel the same. My mum had 2 miscarriages and says she didn't feel that upset though they were earlier stage. I don't want to upset anyone, just wanted to know if anybody feels that they are a mother of 2 or 3 or 4 even if these babies didn't make it. Do you wonder what they would have been like? Does your family feel incomplete without them? I feel next Christmas I will hang 2 stockings, one for each of my children. I am so lonely for my tiny baby. Would only be 20 weeks now so still tiny.

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 09/03/2013 23:47

My baby was even smaller, 6.5 weeks, but 'she' had a name and I used to talk to her. There is definitely something missing, and I do feel lonely and empty. I wont hang a stocking or anything like that as I dont think others really saw her as real at the point I lost her, but she was very real to me, and Im going to buy a piece of jewellery which will have relevence to her, only for me, and I will keep her safe in my heart forever.

Welovegrapes · 09/03/2013 23:50

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MountainOrMolehill · 09/03/2013 23:54

What you're feeling is completely natural and understandable. Make sure you do the things that bring you some sort of comfort like hanging a stocking.

Though I can promise you the pain you feel will ease with time. I've had two mc and have dc now so feel a greater loss in a way-kind of, know what I could have had way.

You'll never forget. Though people might. Your baby will never be forgotten. Remember and 'celebrate' as you see fit.

Hugs for you op. although mc is very common and some people can brush it aside, for others it's very hard. Do what you feel is right for you. Hope you're getting support into too. X

queenofthepirates · 10/03/2013 00:05

I have a funny feeling that these babies aren't lost, that they will come back. Call me wishy washy but I don't feel that they are gone forever, that you'll never know your baby. Sometimes they just leave for a while.

I had an early mc a few years ago and have been comforting myself that my DD born after the mc might just have been that baby.

Bakingtins · 10/03/2013 09:08

Hi Bally. All normal, I had my first MC in 2009 and often think about how old my daughter would have been now. I subsequently had DS2 and since he wouldn't have happened if I had not MC that makes it a little easier. Since then I've had 2 MCs trying for another child. I've consciously not thought about the future for those pregnancies which has made losing them easier to cope with, but I think most women have everything mapped out the minute they see a line on a test. If anyone asked me how many children I have I'd always say two because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, but I'd be thinking of my 3 lost LOs. It's a shame it's not more socially acceptable to acknowledge them, but I'd certainly do it here and in your own home.

Apileofballyhoo · 10/03/2013 12:24

Thanks everyone for the kind replies. It does help that others feel the same.

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