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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Please help - I feel lost x

191 replies

Mummytothearkbuilder · 03/02/2013 11:32

I posted on here last week as I had been anxious since I got my BFP and had some lovely reassuring responses.

My HCG level had been re-tested last week and come back all good so was looking forward to my early scan that I had booked hoping to see the heartbeat for full reassurance.

We went yesterday and after an abdominal and internal scan the guy said he couldn't see a heartbeat - just a sac and foetus with no heartbeat - we were devastated and spoke to our local maternity unit who said we go to A&E and they will re-do bloods however they came back increased (from 17866 on 30th Jan to 20202) so we were given a small glimmer of hope.

Just been for a wee and have some brown discharge so I guess the sonographer was right. I am so sad I don't know how I should act or what to do - I am scared of what is to come and passing the baby (because that's what it is to me - I can't rationalise it as some cells that didn't form properly).

I desperately wanted another baby and a sibling for my little boy - he is 4 in April and I was already worried about a big age gap.

Please help me xxx

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Report

fod27 · 20/02/2013 14:09

I hope so I'm crossing everything but I'm glad we have made the decision to try again if all hope is lost, I think I'm just holding onto anything atm. Suppose its just my way of coping

Mummytothearkbuilder · 21/02/2013 12:25

Anyway of coping is good - if anything helps then do that, so if holding into hope that other people might not have helps you then that's what you should do.

I am going to get out of my pjs today ( first time since Monday!) and I am staying at my mums tonight - she lives near the hospital and my husband is out tonight so might as well go there - it forces me to get out of the house too.

The bleeding seems to have suddenly stopped today which I am pleased about - tomorrow I have the scan to confirm it has all passed and I feel like those things together can draw a line under the whole thing and we can start to move forward.

Hope you are doing okay today fod x

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fod27 · 21/02/2013 16:29

Had some twinges (again) seems like that's all my body is capable of, but still no bleeding. I took the eldest out earlier to a park/ lake, it was good to get out but it's sooo cold your really not missing anything. You will be well looked after at your mums, it's the thing they do best. Expect a fab home cooked meal and lots of comforting conversation. There's no one like your mum to help you through times like this.

Think we all need to find faith in something especially when we are at our lowest ebb, it's like I lifeline thrown to you as you sink deeper and deeper into emotional quicksand. Reaching out and holding on will help us survive this.

I'm glad to hear the bleeding has stopped at least you can start to feel more human again, plus once you have had the all clear at your scan it's just a matter of one cycle and the ttc can begin!!! You must keep us updated with it all I think it would be brilliant if we all were to have our happily ever afters, plus it will give other women that have to go through the hell we have hope xxxx

Lafaminute · 21/02/2013 16:44

Hi Mummy, I am so sorry you are going through this. I was where you are 6 years ago. The bleeding lasted 5 weeks but I had haemorraging after both my full term pregnancies so may have a tendancy to that. My first pregnancy had been touch and go like my mc but ended in a baby - who was four when I had the mc and I fretted about a big age gap too. I had had treatment to get pregnant the second time and was devastated when it ended in mc thinking that'd be my only chance. I had further treatment but didn't get pg again. Then I really DIDN'T want to get pregnant for the first time as I was going on holidays and I did!! I thought I would never be able to relax about a pregnancy again and it certainly was hard - I didn't relax for 9 months but in fact that pregnancy was the least complicated of all three. there are almost 7 years between my children and it doesn't matter: they fight and play as much as siblings I know who are closer in age. Someone told me when I had my mc and was heartbroken that the pain will ease once you pass your baby's due date - and it did. Not immediately or magically but gradually it did. I used to hold onto the fact that after you have a baby you are more fertile and so I applied the same optimism after the mc. Good luck to you.

Mummytothearkbuilder · 21/02/2013 21:03

Thanks ladies - I'm at my mums relaxing after an ace meal and her putting my DS to bed - love coming home!!

I have had a little bleeding this evening but feel like it is the tail end now - just the scan to go!!

We want to start trying again ASAP - I have read that you have to wait for one cycle but mine can be between 45-60 days so it could be ages before we can start trying - do you have to wait for a cycle or can you just get on with it??

Thanks for sharing your experience lafa - it really helps to hear people coming out the other side of this with a happy story xx

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SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 21/02/2013 21:12

My doctor told me to just get on with it. It might not make any difference to when it happens but at least it'll give me something to do!

fod27 · 22/02/2013 00:21

I think it's something to do with dating the pregnancy and that they like to know you have had a cycle for health reasons....not sure tho... Definitely invest in some ovulation kits, I was using them daily throughout my cycle (that's very ott tho) but they also say try having intercourse every two to three days ( that's not always practical tho ) I also read that there is a cough mixture that helps conception apparently the guaifenesin breaks down mucus in the body so it helps to thin Your cervical fluid and helps the sperm to travel, I took it whilst ovulating.

How brilliant would it be if we were all to be back here with BFPs and healthy scans!!! Ooooo excited now!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 22/02/2013 07:56

Good luck for your scan, mummy. Hope it's straightforward x

Mummytothearkbuilder · 22/02/2013 09:04

Thanks ladies - waiting for my scan - they are running late and there are pregnant woman everywhere

I really hope it is clear and I can just draw a line under it all - I will let you know xx

Fod - it would be amazing if we were back on here with our BFP soon!

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Mummytothearkbuilder · 22/02/2013 09:19

Thanks ladies - waiting for my scan - they are running late and there are pregnant woman everywhere

I really hope it is clear and I can just draw a line under it all - I will let you know xx

Fod - it would be amazing if we were back on here with our BFP soon!

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Mummytothearkbuilder · 22/02/2013 10:43

Oops - posted my last message twice!!

The scan showed my womb is clear - no sign of pregnancy at all. It was really sad to hear (obviously I knew that was the case) but positive that I need no further medical treatment. The lady was lovely and answered all my questions - she said as I have long cycles I can start trying straight away and that I am at no higher risk of miscarriage as anyone else which was nice to hear as I have been worried. She said when I fall pregnant next time to talk to the midwife as soon as I find out and that they will scan me early for reassurance. She said taking a baby aspirin might help too.

I am relieved that physically it seems to be coming to an end and we have some closure but I am also feeling really emotional - I think it's because it's all over - I feel like I need a big cry and a good nights sleep then I will be ready to think positively and move forward.

Xxxx

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Mummytothearkbuilder · 22/02/2013 23:15

Just had an email to say the scan company are refunding my money. Feel like we have complete closure now.

Now to get back to work / normal and focus in ttc again - fingers crossed it works - that bring its own set of worries though!!

Fod how are you today - any change x

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SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 22/02/2013 23:34

Can I just ask, what is the deal with baby aspirin? Is that baby dose aspirin, and what is it meant to do?

Mummytothearkbuilder · 23/02/2013 00:14

In all honesty I'm not 100% sure and when the time comes I will discuss it with the midwife before taking it. The lady who scanned me said it might help but if it doesn't then it won't harm. My friend who is due in a couple of weeks has been taking it throughout her pregnancy by instruction of her midwife and she hasn't had any previously miscarriages so not sure what the rules are??

I would google it but I have googled so much over the last couple of weeks and had so many different results I don't really trust Dr Google!!

Xx

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SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 23/02/2013 09:33

That's ok. I will google myself. good to see you over on the TTC thread. Onwards and upwards. X

Mummytothearkbuilder · 23/02/2013 09:46

Thanks saggy - my friends and family are amazing but it really helps to talk to you guys and hear BFP stories of people who have come through the other side xxx

Let me know what you find about baby aspirin - I'm intrigued xx

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SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 23/02/2013 10:54

here for an article about baby aspirin.
I know what you mean about MN. I told lots of people out here about the baby, and after the MC everyone has been great. The support has been amazing. But it's hard to talk about your deepest darkest emotions and fears to someone's face, a even if they have MC themselves. It's the facelessness of people here, and the typing not speaking which helps to say things you wouldn't in real life.
It's helped me loads.

fod27 · 23/02/2013 11:32

Totally agree about the BFPs! Being on here has been a real support, my friends talk but then they just move onto the next topic ....I can't do that I'm still very much stuck on the same topic, still nothing this end for me ;( I spoke to a colleague yesterday that went through exactly the same thing, they sent her home to let it happen naturally and nothing.

They had her back in the EPU and rescanned her....the baby was fine! Can you believe it? She went onto have her daughter who is now 15...god I wish that was possible ( clinging to false hope again) I feel like as long as nothing's happening I just can't move forward

I go back to work on Monday and I'm worried it may happen there, my poor students!
Mummy I'm glad they are reimbursing you, bet that's taken a load off and I'm happy to see that your scan is clear and you can start finding done kind of closure xxxx

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 23/02/2013 12:13

I was in a really good mood today, but a really sweet person who I think the world of has just told me his GF is expecting! It's knocked me for six! I'm so pleased for him, but everywhere I turn there are babies. I'm trapped in a market stall and can't get away from them! it doesn't help that I took my weekly POAS a while ago on a loo break. It's still showing positive. I'm so fed up of this!

Mummytothearkbuilder · 23/02/2013 12:18

Sorry to hear that saggy - they said I didn't need to do that as my womb is clear but I'm not sure whether to anyway - just so I know the hormone is all gone and I'm ready to start again.

I know what you mean about pregnant woman vein everywhere - I'm off into town in a bit and just know its all I will see - I dreamt about being pregnant last night and felt empty when I woke up this morning. I know I need to move past it but its still very much on my mind.

Sorry there is no change fod - is your scan on Tuesday - are they certain that you won't have a happy outcome when you are re-scanned - my DH didn't give up hope until it all started last Friday so if it helps you to hold onto hope then do so, I know it helped my hubby.

Hope the rest of your day is okay for you both - thinking of you xx

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fod27 · 23/02/2013 20:19

I have to phone them on the 27th to tell them that there is no change, they haven't said anything positive about it tbh....hope is all I have at the minute ;( I know what you mean about pregnant women, I went in Tesco with my daughter and the girl behind the counter was telling her friend how she's 4 months along and I wanted to jump over the counter and poke her in the eye...I was sooo angry

Mummytothearkbuilder · 24/02/2013 11:32

Hope you ladies are all doing okay this morning. I am feeling really grumpy today - I know that's sounds really mean but I am suddenly really cross about the whole thing - I really want to move on from all this but his morning just feel really cross that we are back to square one - it doesn't seem fair (I know how childish that sounds!).

I have to go and face Tesco today - out house has nothing in! Oh the joy of seeing pregnant woman!!

Hope you all have a lovely relaxing Sunday xx

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Mummytothearkbuilder · 24/02/2013 11:33

Ps - sorry for the typos - I'm typing on my phone and have chunky fingers!! X

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fod27 · 25/02/2013 00:15

I've been the same...I fell out with my mum slated my brother and snapped at my partner, all day I've been pissed off. Glad I'm not alone, the more people are happy around me the more I want to poke them in the eye with a very sharp fork!

fod27 · 25/02/2013 14:13

Think it's starting ;( Ive been wearing pads all week just in case and this morning I woke up to find brown blood on the pad, after going to the loo there was brown and red blood....what should I expect to happen next?

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