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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Someone cheer me up and tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself...

10 replies

AmelieRose · 14/01/2013 08:51

Had ERPC last Monday after miscarrying at 9 weeks and was off work all week. Phoned work on Friday and said I would be back today, but spent most of yesterday crying and could not walk out of the door this morning.

Now I'm feeling really guilty because I told work I would be back today, especially because I'm a teacher and really worried about my classes. I'm also feeling a bit pathetic all round.

Tell me that this is going to get easier?!

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BlackholesAndRevelations · 14/01/2013 10:15

I'm still signed off, nearly two weeks after my natural mc. I'm also a teacher. You being so distraught this morning is a clear sign you're nowhere near ready. Be kinder to yourself. It will get easier, but it's very early days for you xx

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AmelieRose · 14/01/2013 10:33

Thanks Blackholes. I think if it was any other time of year I might be a bit kinder to myself but have a class sitting exams next week and feel terrible that I'm not there for them.

Hope things improve for you soon too. It's a funny old thing, isn't it? Some of my friends took me out on Saturday and it was lovely, but then felt all flat again yesterday. My poor husband doesn't know what to do with me!

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MrsJohnDeere · 14/01/2013 11:05

You need at least 2 weeks off, IMHO, possibly more.

I found that I felt wretched for two weeks, then a bit better after that (but still prone to burst into tears at the slightest thing), and then better again by 6 weeks.

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JBrd · 14/01/2013 13:42

I'm now being signed off for the 3rd week, after my attempt at a natural miscarriage resulted in ERPC on Friday. Apart from being shattered, the emotional roller coaster has been horrendous - physically, I am feeling OK, but I simply couldn't face work, as it would aggravate everything, and my skin is not yet thick enough to cope with it.

Don't feel guilty, be kind to yourself. You've been through the wringer, in every aspect possible, and healing/grieving takes time. This is not the time to feel guilty or pressurised about work! Mine have been pestering me with emails and planning about deadlines etc., and I had to make a very conscious effort to step away from it all - you need to put yourself first, if there ever was/is a time for that, it is now.

Hope you will feel better soon!

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AmelieRose · 14/01/2013 14:39

Thanks folks. I have said tentatively that I'll be back on Wednesday...just thinking about my poor class who are off on study leave from Friday. I know they will have been working hard and my colleague is keeping an eye on them, but I still worry.

Am going to the doctor's tomorrow morning as I need a line for being off longer than 5 days so will see how that goes.

I've been feeling ok physically too JBrd. I actually felt pretty much ok until Friday and from then I've been feeling pretty rubbish - kind of like a delayed reaction.

One of my poor friends was admiring my new watch (a Christmas present) on Saturday and very innocently remarked on the bruising on my hands (where the hospital buggered up taking blood and putting the cannula in) and I dissolved into sobs. They're going to start finding excuses not to see me soon at this rate .

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JBrd · 14/01/2013 15:58

I'm with you with the frequent crying, Amelie - DH and I watched the film 'Up!' last night, and within 5min after the start I was a sobbing wreck! And I kept bursting into tears in regular intervals for the rest if the film

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AmelieRose · 14/01/2013 17:00

Up is a killer isn't it! Had the same effect on me about a week ago.

I've just watched Cool Runnings (very retro I know) and have been properly sobbing. What is that about?!

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Countmyblessings · 14/01/2013 17:33

Sorry for your losses! It's very hard to try to return to normal when everything seems so not normal! The high level of emotions is normal and its key to go through the mourning stages! It's hard also as you are a teacher! Take 1 day at a time and see how you feel! Try not planning to far ahead as you don't know how you feel from one day to the next!!
My last 2 losses came quite close together I was off for 6 months as couldn't face the 3 pregnant women in my office!!!
My GP understood and just as I was returning after my ectopic and tube removal found out I was pregnant again and was a nervous wreck the first 12 weeks!!! 8 weeks to go cant wait!!!

Good luck to u all in the futurex

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SophieBirkBirk · 14/01/2013 18:54

Don't be silly and feel worry for yourself!
After one of my miscarriages I started a new college course a month after the after another 5 days before Christmas i went back to college 2 weeks after. So hard but keeps you busy.

Once you've started back at work it will get easier, its just a horrible feeling thinking of going back. Try and stay strong

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AmelieRose · 15/01/2013 10:54

Thanks everyone for all your wise words. I've been to the doctor this morning and predictably had a little cry. She doesn't think I'm ready to go back to work yet so has signed me off until Monday. I have to say, I do feel relieved, despite the guilt about my classes.