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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

chance of success after 6 miscarriages?

3 replies

aMuminwaiting · 19/12/2012 17:33

I lost my baby girl at 17 weeks in September. She was my 6th loss. My first baby got to almost 22 weeks and that was back in 2010. They said at the time it was a placental abruption but I've seen many different consultants since then and none of them can agree. The others were all lost before 12 weeks so my consultant now thinks they were all for a different reason to the later losses. Everything was fine this time until 16 weeks when I had a small bleed. I went for a scan and an hour later was being rushed to theatre for an emergency stitch. It looked like it worked but then a week later I started contracting and lost her. Things are still very tender down there and my periods are all over the place. It feels like the consultant is pushing for me to try again but I'm not ready. My husband wants to try too but I've had no counselling (despite asking since September and my husband getting calls from two lots of service to talk through his feelings) and I have constant panic attacks about dying. I want a baby so badly but I feel my skin burning when I answer people about when we think we can try again. It's all too much. I want to wake up Christmas morning and a bouncing baby to be under my Christmas tree. I saw the consultant a few weeks ago and hoped talking through an action plan for next time would ease my worries. It didn't. She didn't want to talk through worst case scenarios but that's what I've always had to face and it's scary having no idea what to do. No one ever answers the phone and what if next time I go into labour again and yet again the doctor on call is too nervous to take the stitch out? I don't know if I can go through all the surgery again but there's no choice. Well there is but that means living the rest of our lives with no children.
This time of year always makes it feel so raw. Family gatherings, little children toddling about, all of them younger than my boy would be now. I know dwelling on the past isn't healthy but I can't seem to move forward.
I will do anything I have to for my baby to survive but with no guarantee how do I do it all again? I don't know what I want from you all to say. I guess I just feel alone and scared and want to know there is a chance.

OP posts:
Geekster · 19/12/2012 18:11

I'm so sorry to hear of all your loses. Miscarriage is horrible, it's all you can think about. Have you had any tests done? If its of any remote consolation I had six miscarriages all before twelve weeks and our seventh pregnancy resulted in our daughter being born healthily this March, so it can happen. But I can totally see where you are coming from. I think only you know how much more you can go through.

I really wish you both all the very best of luck for the future.

Bakingtins · 19/12/2012 18:46

I'm so sorry you've been through all that - it's more than any one person should have to bear. It's terrible that you haven't been offered counselling. Have you tried the Miscarriage Association - they must know what is available near you.
Only you can know how many times you want to keep trying, I guess as long as the desire for a child of your own is stronger than the fear of another loss then you try again when you feel emotionally ready. You are not necessarily condemmed to be childless if you decide not to try again though, there are other options you could explore - surrogacy, adoption, fostering...
Wishing you peace this Christmas - it is a tough time of year.

aMuminwaiting · 23/12/2012 09:22

I'm on my third cycle now. And just got my clear smear results back so feel a bit more sure that things are getting back to normal down there. Still no councilling. Hubby has had his first session and is hopeful. I've been moved on to another group because apparently there's too many people for them to deal with. I think I'll get my clexane in the new year so if I feel brave we can go for it. Anyone out there had an emergency stitch not work but an early one do the trick? Please. Need some positive stories!!!!

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