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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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18 weeks since stillborn daughter and pregnant again.I don't think I can do it again

26 replies

coco2303 · 17/12/2012 22:36

Hi I had a beautiful daughter 18 weeks ago and have been struggling with the loss. I stupidly didn't take precautions after and am now pregnant again.I was so happy when I was pregnant with my daughter but I'm not getting those feelings now.and I am so so scared.already I have bled heavily 3 times and this is going to sound terrible but if this pregnancy isn't going to go well I would rather it go wrong now before I get too used to the idea and have to go through labour again. My head is all over the place I miss my daughter so so much.at first I couldn't feel anything but when her due date came around and with christmas around the corner I want her so so much. But then feel guilty that I can't get those feelings for this baby.I just don't know anymore.this baby will be due 4 days before my daughter was born and I can't help feeling I won't be able to cope with the grief of my daughter and if this pregnancy goes well I don't know if I can give this baby everything I was ready to give my daughter.and I know I sound terrible I should be so so happy I am pregnant because I have always wanted to be a mommy but with grief and fear combined I don't know what to do!can anyone help?

OP posts:
coco2303 · 21/12/2012 20:50

Hey sweetlucy also sorry to hear about your loss but congratulations on the new addition. And the hospital and midwife are good to me when I do go there they do book me scans to put my mind at rest. I totally agree about another pregnancy reminding you of the baby you lost.even now after my daughter I hadn't lost all my 'baby weight' and I feel further gon than I am because I compare my size to when I was pregnant with my daughter. And also everytime you go to the hospital they do ask the same things EVERY time and you think what did you do with the notes from the last time I came.I have found it distressing at times having to go over my history time and time again and my partner also hates it but that's the nhs aint it! I'm glad you now have a family and ur litle angel is still part of that family. I'm not hugely religious or anything but I believe we carry them in our hearts and our angels are always here. hugs

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