so bloody angry!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

[acsr1987]

ok so my LMP was the 7th of august, got my BFP on 9th of september, found out baby had died at an early scan the 18th october, had medical management on the 30th of october and nearly died due to blood loss had to hav 2 blood transfusions and a EPRC on the 31st october, then continued to have weird spotting/bleed for 4 weeks after because of infection in my womb, ive now stopped bleeding for about 2 and a bit weeks and i still havnt had a period and im still not pregnant.
to be honest im really fucked off, ive been through nothing but shit the past few months and i know how lucky i am to be here but i cant help but feel angry at everything, why the fuck am i not still pregnant? and aswell where the fuck is my period??!?!?!?!?! not that i really want one id much rather be pregnant but i just wanna know "where i am" and if i had a period id know when i was to ovulate again but grrrrrrrr im just mad at the moment and i cant help feeling ive been alittle bit short fucking changed, i wanted that baby more than anything and all i can see is pregnant women everywhere even kate bloody middleton!!!
grrrrrrrr
sorry for the swearing
rant over

Sounds like you've had a shitty time, it is grossly unfair and I'm not surprised you are pissed off. There's a nice thread (now on thread 3) over on the conception board of people TTC after miscarriage - plenty of people waiting for AF, trying again for what feels like ages or in the worrying early days of a pregnancy. Come and join us, you'll feel better with some friends to rant at.

So sorry for what you've been through. Sounds absolutely awful and so traumatic aside from the fact you lost a baby. I know how it feels to have mc (have had 3 & 2 erpcs) but the trauma your body has been through sounds just awful.

In terms of your period not arriving just try to not stress, I know easier said than done but it can take ages for things to settle down after mc (3 months is normal) and if you lost so much blood your body is probably just trying to recover and the lining of your uterus is probably building up again.

After my last mc (in July) I felt like you. So angry and hated everyone for being pregnant and annoyed I wasn't & desperate to try again. However I was forced to wait to try as had various tests carried out and I actually now feel much calmer and kind of relaxed about things. Although I desperately didn't want a break from ttc I think in retrospect it was a good thing. Also think maybe I got pregnant too fast after my 2nd mc although that's just speculation.

Another thing I've found amazing for regulating cycles and building up uterine lining is acupuncture. So maybe try that or reflexology? Also great for my mood swings and bump hatred!!

Fwiw after my 1st mc was discovered at my 12 wk scan I had no period for 5 months, was going out of my mind, then had a progesterone induced one and got pregnant with DD on the next cycle. So don't give up hope.

thanks for ur replies, im just fucking gutted and so angry and im sick to my back bloody teeth of having ppl say the same things to me over again AKA
*your only 25 you can try again
*you had a healthy baby the first time at least u know u can have kids
*why would you want another one when your son is so perfect
*your still young
*aww nevermind
and the worst one ever is "well it could of been worse" what could of been worse my fucking child died what is worse than that???!?!?!?!?
grrrrrrrr i think im going to give this period til after xmas to come then im trying progesterone
to me pregnancy both with my DS and with my MC was hell, i felt like i was dying throughout and it made life so hard, i hated it and my birth was even worse, i just want the babies! i wish i could lay an egg!
i feel so sorry for myself at the moment, im putting on a brave face as DS is only 14 months and xmas is coming up and everyone around me seems to think im "over it" and im anything but. somedays i get so angry and upset i literally want to pull all my hair out
my dad told me 10 days after i got discharged from hospital that i shud just "get over it" and that millions of women have been thru the same thing
ugh im just so pissed off!
do i sound whiney or what?

I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. I hate the world too & everyone seems to be pregnant and having such wonderful pregnancies!! I've just had my second miscarriage this weekend & it is unbearably painful physically and emotionally. I'm sick to death of people saying 'you got through it once and you will again' and 'time's the best healer' and 'at least you can have a drink now'... Fuck off!!!! I want my babies back more than anything! I should have been due in Feb and then in June and now I'm frightened to death that I'll never have another child!!! It is just so so horrible!! Why?!! My first pregnancy was great - conceived first time and had no problems with the pregnancy at all. Now I'm terrified that there's something really wrong with me! I hope you get your period back ASAP & you get pregnant again really soon. xx