Very sad.

[GeraldineAubergine]

I had a scan at what I thought was 12 weeks but the sonogropher said baby was 9w6 , but had heartbeat and everything looked good and so assumed I got dates wrong. Scan at 12 weeks yesterday showed no heartbeat and baby measured only 10w5. I'm so sad about it I just wanted to write it down really. Having ercp tommorow. Everyone at my work knows as I work in a risky area and I'm dreading going back.

I'm so sorry :( This is so sad for anyone.

Have you got good rl support? I'm around for handholding today if you need it. MN was my lifeline when I had my mc in April.

Thank you for replying so sorry to hear you went through this too. My dp is being lovely and looking after ds. I don't really have anyone to help, my best friend hasn't answered my message. Have to go to hospital alone so dp can take son to nursery. Just feel bereft really.

I hope your best friend gets back to you and can either help with your ds or come to the hospital with you. It isn't really something you want to do by yourself, although you will get through it if you have to. I completely understand about feeling bereft, everything has changed from what you were expecting and it's really hard to adjust.

You need to be very kind to yourself, take time to grieve, get as much help as you can.

Thanks for being so kind.

So sorry you are going through this. I was in your shoes 7 weeks ago

MN has been invaluable ever since for me too.

Sorry to hear that too mrsjohndeere, it's really a terrible thing.

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Hoping your DP can make it to the hospital with you or your friend can.

Do make sure you have enough rest and surround yourself with whatever you find comforting and/or distracting for the next week or so.

I was in your shoes, further on in the pregnancy, around three months ago. It's very hard but getting whatever help and support you need helps you to heal. For me, it was DH, friends, my doctors and a counsellor who were the lifesavers -- I would have pulled through even without all of them, but it would have been harder and lonelier.

Now MNet is my new safe space for comfort. Hoping it will be the same for you and that you find support here. Do come back and talk if you feel you want to.

xox

It may not seem so now, but you might find that it helps to have people know about it. I've found it much easier to be around people who know and therefore understand and empathise than those who don't - it is such hard work pretending that life is fine and envy thing is normal when it isn't and you're struggling not to cry.

Take good care of yourself afterwards and don't try to rush things. You will probably feel horrible (physically) for a good couple of weeks.

I think I might ask if I can be signed off work for two weeks. Sometimes I have to help with ercp's or c sections especially over Xmas as its mostly emergency only ( im a theatre nurse) and I don't think I can do it.

Oh that's the last thing you need to see, isn't it.

I'm very sorry :(

Today my GP signed me off until the New Year (4 weeks total) without me even asking, so don't go back before you feel ready xx

Thanks everyone for your kindness and so sorry to hear everyone else is going through the same thing. Hopefully tommorow won't be too bad. My friend works at the hosp I'm going to so at least I know what time I'm going and stuff. I can't tell whether it's better or worse knowing what's to come.

Yes, do get signed off for as long as you need. I didn't but I should have done. It doesn't do anyone any good to go back to work before you're ready.

YY yo getting signed off. I don't think anything will make it better right now. Had ERPC following similar. It was horrid. Lots of hand holding here always.

Thinking of you today Geraldine hope you have someone with you to hold your hand.
I'd speak to your supervisor about changing your duties to start with so you don't have to be involved in those sort of procedures. You're likely to feel very emotionally vulnerable for a while.

Oh bless you. I'm going through it too - not ERPC because mine started naturally before our second scan - and it is so, so hard and such a rollercoaster of emotions and physical horridness. I hope you don't have to be alone today.

Thanks all for thinking of me yesterday. Had the erpc which wasn't so bad although staff not so good. Took me down but had made a mistake so had to wait for three hours outside theatre crying. Anaes asst asked when I would have another and what type I'd been having. Physically I feel ok now, dp is being really supportive and ds a good boy. Signed off work till 29th. Thanks for all your support really means a lot.

Oh bless you - you shouldn't have been left waiting all that time :(