Neonatal loss at 27 weeks how will I cope?

[Rosduk]

Yesterday I lost my baby boy Thomas after an emergency c section at 27+2. Reduced fetal movements made my go into hospital to get checked and within the hour my little boy was born at 2lbs 1oz. He was immediately resuscitated and fought for an hour before he passed. He was so perfect, in every way. He looked just like his big sister and after 2 hours of cuddles my heart broke once again as they took him away.

I just don't know how to get through this. I know time is a healer but not only is the recovery from the section painful but emotionally I just don't know how to cope.

I really don't know what I want people to say I just needed to tell my story.

Thanks for reading

Have you asked for all of the information from it or just a summary letter?

I'm glad you are at home now and feeling physically a bit better.You know we are all here for you to talk to any time you need us, you aren't alone, there are all too many of us that have been through the same loss :( and will help you as best we can.

Be gentle on yourself, make sure you get lots of rest. Hows your DP? xx

DP is really struggling. He's trying to be too strong. We have a debrief on Thursday to find out what happened. At first I didn't want him touched but after much consideration we decided on a full postmortem as if we want to have another child I'd like to try and find out what happened to give us the best chance. We had already had a Cvs which was all clear after a 1:10 ration so that should apparently cut down the wait time for results. I'm beginning to feel better physically which is upsetting me. I keep thinking that friends and families life will return to normal but we will still be suffering. I then feel guilty for wishing I just hadn't got pregnant in the first place.

So sorry I never noticed you had replied, I was just coming back to see how you are. How did it go today?

I think people tend to forget about Dads in this situation, its really sad.

DO NOT feel guilty, I know its easy to say, but you would never have known in a million years that this would happen.

I think for a while its sort of like watching tv when you are watching other peoples lives move on, and it seems to go so quickly, but you are still stuck in this hell. It does feel better eventually, I promise, I don't know if it gets better or you just find a way to cope with it.