Hi, it's lovely of you to be trying to do things to help those going through MC.
I've had three Mc, (currently going through the third), and I've also had a little girl who died in GOSH when she was six days old. The standard of care varies so dramatically depending on the hospital, the ward within the hospital, and the person. Work to make staff more aware and kind would mean more than anything else.
I still remember my first ERPC, and an older sister sitting hugging me, and a EPU nurse in London going that extra mile, even checking on me on her way off shift. Those kindnesses mean so much. At the opposite end, that nobody reads notes, so someone like me always has to talk through everything at every appt, even although they have the details in front of them. Even after telling them i lost my daughter it is unusual to have anything human said about this, just medical questions asked. The staff are so defended its rude at times. That some staff don't recognise the SANDS teardrops that are put on the front of notes of berieved parents. Why not?
Re your thoughts about little blankets, I have a blanket from my daughter that some lovely person knitted for babies like her, and we treasure it. But, my other MCs, I choose not to think of them as babies, they were early losses, and I would go mad if I had to think about four dead babies. So I would be in pieces if I was given something like this. I know other people think differently, but I don't think it's appropriate to give these out without knowing the affect they will have.
A summery of practical tips for dealing with MC from other mums, in quote style, (ie, hot water bottles, energy drinks, iron sachets, reading material, chocolate(!), Phone by bed, child care arranged, leggings to feel secure, Bridget jones pants, proper sanitary pads, whether baths are ok, what to do with baby if it is seen, etc) an offer of mattress protectors to take home along with painkillers, and a clear idea of what to expect would be invaluable. Many mums don't know that they will pass clots, or how much pain is acceptable. They can be very scared of what might be seen, of go down the loo. There is usually NO advice given other than, it will be like a heavy period (no, it probably won't), and come back to check everything's gone. The bit in between is not talked about. I have had more compassion from my dentist. Why is this? A charity would be of most help in challenging the culture, a caring hand would be such a lifeline. Maybe a trained volunteer could offer some humanity if the nursing staff can't?
Through the ages it has been women who have supported other women through these times, and that's still what's needed. Any step towards this would be good, so many people feel on there own, just look at the boards here. It's a sad sign of our communities that this support is now 'virtual' when a kind hand and a cup of tea would mean so much.
I hope you can make a difference, and thank you for trying. Xxx