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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss


5 replies

debz6108 · 06/09/2012 13:31

Feeling depressed thought I was 10 weeks had a scan today no heartbeat & measuring only 6 weeks so have to wait 10 days for another scan. 2 days ago the dr in A&E said the uterus was closed & my hormone levels are fine but I have bleeding on & off so nit hopeful. I have had 2 miscarriages before after infertility for many years & have since had 2 children & for some reason I'm feeling worse than I did when I thought I'd never be able to have kids & I'm feeling very guilty for feeling that way. I also think that this time it mayve been my fault as I have been overexerting myself lately. Any advice for getting through this period of limbo?

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CaptainHoratioWragge · 06/09/2012 13:35

I'm so so sorry you are going through this.

I've had a MMC picked up in my 20 week scan, so I know how awful it is to be told the bad news in this way.

Please don't feel guilty for feeling so sad- a MC is a devastating thing.

And it is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done, please try and be kind to yourself.

The waiting is awful, I found I sat at home on the sofa, had lots of cries, wasn't really up to anything involving complex thought or decisions. Box sets of american tv series took up some of the time.

I'm thinking of you x

debz6108 · 06/09/2012 15:13

Thank you for your reply it really helps to hear from others and I'm sorry for your loss must've been hard to go through that at 20 weeks. Rationally I know it wasn't my fault but my partner without thinking as men often do Smile keeps saying things like I don't think u were eating properly or eating enough etc which isn't very helpful. I think I'll get the boxsets out... thanks again

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CaptainHoratioWragge · 06/09/2012 16:52

Oh gosh, possibly your partner is in shock too and isn't thinking before he says such horrid things.

They are incredibly unhelpful things to say.

I know its easier said than done but please, please try and ignore them.

Unfortunately, lots of lovely people on MN have been through similar experiences and will be able to give you support and encouragement. Keep posting on here and you'll soon have a little group of chums.

Irishmammybread · 06/09/2012 23:39

debz, don't feel guilty, I'm sure you're not to blame in any way for what's happened, but I know it's only natural to look for reasons as to why it's occurred.
don't feel bad about feeling sadder about this mc than previously either. I think when you've had children you can remember being at the same stage of pregnancy with them, it makes the loss of what might have been even harder to bear.
I have three dc but had a mc at 10-11wks in March and one at 6 wks in June.
We tried again and I got pregnant again straight away, had a scan at 7 weeks which showed strong heartbeat,another scan at 8 weeks which showed normal growth.I wasn't due another scan till 12wks but we booked a private 10wk scan just for reassurance and were devastated to find the heart had stopped and baby measured 8w6d. We were given the option of booking in for an ERPC or medical management or waiting to see if I would miscarry naturally. We decided to wait, I had miscarried naturally both other times and I didn't want to go into hospital, we were trying to avoid letting our dd know what was going on.I was booked for a scan 2 weeks later. I continued to feel/even look pregnant and didn't start to bleed until the morning of the next scan,so I was about 12 wks . The pregnancy was still there when I was scanned but over the next few days I went on to miscarry, I assume it's almost complete now but have a rescan nxt week.
It's very hard being in limbo and waiting, I tried to focus on the kids to keep me going. I've actually found since I've miscarried I feel emotionally worse this week, I think I went into survival mode to get through the physical side of things and because I still felt pregnant before, even though I knew the baby had died, it was all a bit surreal.
Look after yourself and don't feel bad about feeling bad!

debz6108 · 09/09/2012 13:56

Thank you for sharing your own experiences that must've been so difficult I'm so sorry for what you've been through. what you've said has really helped me understand why I'm finding it so difficult this time & that is really comforting thank you. I'm sorry for the late reply to your post I became ill over the last few days and the miscarriage started I didn't get around to going online. I've had scary bouts of dizziness since the start of this pregnancy but A&E weren't concerned but it's been hard trying to keep on top of everything. I really hope everything works out for you.

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