M/C has making me selfish, bitter, jealous...

[Moggin]

I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago and although obviously being very upset I think I coped with it ok at the time. I feel fine most of the time now but it seems everyone I know is now pregnant. I HATE being told someone new is expecting, I HATE having to pretend I'm thrilled for them, I HATE having to smile when I'm told it was a happy accident, and I HATE having to say 'no, don't worry about me I already have DC1 so I'm very lucky anyway'.

I know it make me a terrible person but a few friends have had some slight problems in their pregnancy and when it's turned out to be ok I feel so sad, not because I wanted them to have bad news but because I can't help thinking why was it me that had the bad news? I don't want to become bitter but I can't seem to stop the first thought in my head being why couldn't that be me.

Why do all the newly pregnant people appear when I want to hide away from all of that?

Sorry about the rant, I know I have it a million times easier than many on this board having had just one reasonably untraumatic m/c - not sure what response I'm after really (am I just a freak for feeling so evil at the moment?)

gosh purple we did the same booked the wedding as a distraction. was so pleased to get pregnant again quickly and wouldve had the baby 3months before the wedding. perfect i thought but it wasnt to be. so now like you trying to decide when to try again i think we're going to go for nov/dec ish i really cant wait much longer so i think as long as i dont drop on the day it will be fine. im kind of thinking now if im going to be a pregnant bride i may as well be big! haha. its not ideal but nothing about this situation is.
they found polycystic ovaries for me too but same as you no symptoms. i also have very high natural killer cells. so now i have a treatment plan ready for my next pregnancy im even more eager to start! cant shake the feeling of how unfair it is that none of this is coming easilly to me. and i wont be able to enjoy pregnancy thats been snatched away from me.
what tests have you had? x

Yeah my last pregnancy would have been due 2 months before our wedding too.
I can totally understand not wanting to wait especially now u have a treatment plan. I probably wouldn't wait much longer either, but feel at the moment it wouldn't get me anywhere until I have all results and hopefully a definitive answer (even tho it is rare) it will hopefully make me more positive.

I really hope that with ur treatment plan, all goes well for u in ur next pregnancy xx

The last lot of tests were for my testosterone levels and both me and my DP had bloods for chromosome testing, plus yet another scan to see if I had polyps in my uterus (which I don't), these are all the ones I am waiting to hear about from specialist now!
Don't know what happens next??
x

Sounds like ur on the right track purple. Does your specialist believe in the natural killer cells are you being tested for that?

I have no idea I will have to ask him at the next consult x

Hi everyone - I'm in the same boat really - MMC in March, been trying to TTC since but cycles seem firmly to have changed into strangeness and I am beginning to wonder whether we will be able to have a DC2 at all...

This month has been particularly bad as it means that i will now not be pregnant by the due date of the MMC, and several of my friends are also due this month (so will have to perfect the happy smile when I want to throttle!!) and I became obsessed with having a 2-3 year gap between my DCs which now also won't be possible. I'm going to stop TTC for a while as every time AF arrives I am feeling more and more miserable and feel like I'm being so ungrateful for my lovely DS!

I echo the whole hating people announcing how easily they have become pregnant and also wishing (sort of, not really obv! ) they wouldn't have such a straightforward time

I too have become bitter and twisted!!!

Can I join too? I swear it was easier just after my mmc. But now everyone is pregnant and announcing it, I'm struggling to conceive again and started back at work where the boss's first comment was 'well that was a crap summer, wasn't it, what with you losing the twins and all that'. Nice.

Am now officially bitter, twisted, and trying not to take it out on OH who has 'performance anxiety'