Oh Dot, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Such a heartbreakingly cruel thing to have happened after your mc. No wonder you still feel so raw.
I don't have any useful advice. This is such an intensely personal grief that I cannot say what may be right for you.
I'm 38 and have had mcs so I understand a tiny portion of the pain you're feeling. My circumstances are not at all comparable but I was shocked by how poleaxed I was by the grief.
Do you have good people around you in RL and professional support to help you?
The lack of ovulation could be a temporary response to the shock and trauma you are suffering but maybe you could seek medical confirmation of your fertility status. Hopefully this would be enormously reassuring - 39 is not so late!
That way you could remove the horrible worry about leaving it too late and grieve for your DD without the added pressure.
You sound like you are doing amazingly well considering the terrible blow you have been struck and like a strong, grounded individual who would make a wonderful parent if you ever feel able to try again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that, in your post, you sound like you desperately want to try but are naturally paralysed by the fear of further pain.
If you look forward fifteen years, do you think you will be dogged by regrets that you didn't try again while there was still a chance?
On the other hand, does the idea of firmly shutting that door now give you a feeling of blessed relief that you don't have to open yourself up to that pain again? That you can concentrate on rebuilding a happy fulfilled life, stuffed to the gills with all the wonderful things life has to offer without the drain of bringing up children?
Don't listen to your head, go with your heart.
Really hope things start to feel easier soon and reminders of babies and pregnancy feel less like salt in the wound.
I know your post will stay with me for a long time. I will be thinking of you.