I didn't expect to feel so angry.

[monkeybutt]

MC 4 weeks ago. Original Thread. I thought I was getting back to "normal", whatever that is. However I've been feeling so angry hearing about other people getting pregnant....especially "celebs" who have been with their partners for such a short amount of time (Imogen Thomas.....such a bitch) and working where I do (on a children's ward) families and poorly children are around me all the time. We have had alot of children who have been abused in lately as well, and all I feel is complete and utter hate for the people who hurt them.

I see pregnant women - I get angry. I hear about a family member/friend being pregnant - I get angry. I am just so angry all the time, and I don't know how to deal with it. Poor DH has no idea what to do to help, and I don't know what I want him to do. I am not an angry person, I'm usually quite cheerful and happy but I have this horrible hatred growing and burning in my stomach and I just can't carry on like this. Please tell me this will pass, because I thought it had but it obviously hasn't.

Hi, don't really know what to say, but I wanted to respond. I'm so sorry you're feeling terrible, but I can reassure you you're totally normal. You've been through a horrible experience and it'll take time to get all the feelings out there.

I've been there with the anger towards anyone pregnant - it just seems hideously unfair.

I don't have any suggestions, I just empathise with your situation. Good luck.

Hi monkey. I totally get this. I had a mc last July, and after the initial shock, grief, etc. I was just angry a lot of the time. It came and went, but for several months I felt like I hated a lot of people. I work with a lot of pg women, and when I got to the anniversary of the due date, and then the anniversary of getting pg, and then the anniversary of the mc, and was still not pg it would resurface with a vengeance. I started to feel like I was a horrible person too. I read all the threads on here where people said they had had a mc and their best friend was pg and it was hard but they were so happy for them and it just didn't ring true for me. At some level I was happy but mostly I felt utter betrayal when I heard that friends were pg.

It is really hard to be angry all the time. I got back into running and exercise as a way of managing it (I started doing kung fu which was very cathartic!), and I also started to meditate regularly (had been doing it on and off for years). I found that the exercise helped with burning off the energy, and the meditation and mindfulness helped with just learning to be kind to myself, and accept that this was ok, a horrible thing had happened, and to let the feelings come and go without getting too caught up in them or feeling that they defined me.

It does fade. Try to be kind to yourself. You aren't a horrible person, it's just a way of coping with the grief. Every time I felt like that, or wondered whether I was pg again I tried to imagine giving myself a hug (sorry, maybe a bit hippy) and I found that helpful. 4 weeks is no time at all. It took me months to even get over the first stages of understanding. Be kind to yourself.

Hi monkeybutt I know where you are coming from. I had six miscarriages, and went through stages where I was so angry that people where having babies who really didn't want them. It does pass in time and becomes less. Give yourself time it's only four weeks since your mc that's not long at all. It sounds contrite but they say anger is a stage of grief along with sadness, denial and finally acceptance yes it will always be there but it will become more managble it won't be as bad as this forever I know it feels like it won't now. I have been there people said this to me and it's true. Give yourself time to grieve properly you have both been through a bereavement it takes time to recover mentally and physically.

Sending you a big hug xx

It's 4 months since my mc and I think I am only just coming out of the angry phase (although I still have times when I get angry about it all). A week after my mc a friend announced her pregnancy, her due date is 1 week after mine, I still haven't seen her (we would usually have seen each other a couple of times in that amount of time) and I've hidden her on facebook. This is not normally me at all, I'm normally lovely.

My next door neighbour is pregnant too and our kids adore each other so i see a lot of her. I have managed to say congratulations but whenever anyone mentions her pregnancy I have to leave. It's rude and not like me at all but I can't cope. I get angry that she gets to keep her baby when I didn't get to keep mine.

I'm angry at my dp too. I feel like it's his fault I had a mc because he didn't want our surprise baby. I'm angry that he doesn't want to try again as I think that's the only way I can feel like me again.

I'm getting better at managing the anger and sadness (although I still cry almost every day :(). It is easier now than it was even a few weeks ago and I'm hoping people are right that it keeps getting easier the longer I manage to carry on.

Have a hug from me too.

Hi GoodButNoMedals sorry to hear you are still going through this horrible time. All that you have said is perfectly normal. I found I distanced myself from anyone who was pregnant, it really hurt for a while. With my second mc one of my sisters was pregnant at the same time and I found that hard to deal with. But my sister was was so upset that I had mc and was very supportive. When you talk to people it's surprising just how many of them have had miscarriages. Not that it makes it any easier for you. It's also true that you take it out on your nearest and dearest. It does get better in time, you don't suddenly wake up one morning and feel better it can take months, but it will ease, don't be hard on yourself.

Sending you a big hug too xx

And you can all shout at me as much as you want.