Arrgh 3rd time UNlucky, I hate this it's so cruel

[InaPuddle]

Nothing anyone can do to make it better but just had to write it downiyswim.

We're so fortunate to have ds and would so love to give him a sibling, but time and my nerves are running out. Two mc before him and now another one. Horrid miserable scan on monday to confirm loss.

Arrrrrggggh x

I'm sorry that's happened to you InaPuddle. What an awful experience that scan appointment must have been. You haven't written much about it here, do feel free, it's one of the reasons why MN is so helpful.

we're in the same situation, but further on, last MC was in May, we are trying again, but kind of losing optimism.

Good luck and look after yourself, you are stronger than you know.

x

I feel for you, I also thought 3rd time lucky.

Really makes you lose hope.

Get some rest, hope you feel better soon.

Hello. Sorry you're going through this. I'm feeling exactly the same as you today. My 3rd mc started last Sunday. Have a dd who is 2 but had 1 mmc before her and then 2 mc this year. Feeling so frustrated today like I've just wasted so much time and have absolutely nothing to show for it whereas everyone else is pregnant! This probably won't make you feel any better but you are not alone! All I can think about is trying again though, do you feel the same? Do you think you will have any tests done? Xx

Thanks for responding it's so little talked about in rl but I knew people here would (sadly) understand.

Each time it's been physically and emotionally different but always cruel and crushing.

Before we started ttc I was 'well read' and knew the statistics but I was so naive

Fingers crossed we all get lucky next time.

I'm so sorry for your losses and hope you can feel you have a good support system here.

So sorry Inapuddle - it is horrible, I know. :(

I would like to suggest something that may or may not have helped me - I still don't know but after 3MCs (post DS) I am now 29w pg so it's worth a shot:
I had my Vitamin D levels checked, for other reasons (family history of bowel cancer) and discovered they were on the low side (below normal range). GP prescribed large doses Vit D to be taken fortnightly to bring my levels up - and bingo, I fell pregnant again and this time it was a "sticky". Low levels of Vit D are associated both with infertility and with miscarriage, so I'd like to think that the increase levels helped me to keep hold of this one. I am now 45 - so it was very important to reduce all risk factors as my chances of having another successful pg were already much reduced.

Anyway - it might not be relevant to you - but it might and it's one factor that you can rule out. :)

Good luck - hope the next one is a sticky for you too!

It IS cruel. MC is horribly terribly cruel.

FWIW I had 5 MCs in 2.5 years after DS, 3 MMCs at 12 weeks, then 2 early losses around 6 weeks. I had pretty much given up hope as I was approaching 44.

But am now 30 weeks with DS2.

I post only to say if you can keep going (and I so know the pull to give up) then it is possible and can happen.

Good luck.

Hi inapuddle how awful for you mc is horrible, I had six before I had dd in march,and to be honest it has really put me off trying for a sibling for her. You could ask for tests now you have had three mc in a row. I wish you the best of luck for the future

Sending my sympathy - I'm 3rd time unlucky too - thought that by a law of averages we were due some good luck this time. Clearly not

Can't really face trying again but equally can't seem to let go of the idea of a sibling for DS....,

Wish I had something more constructive & uplifting to say. But I do understand where you're coming from & am so sorry you're going through this xx

I just had my fourth mc two weeks ago. It is absolutely awful and devastating. Am lucky in that I have a DS (3y) and DD (2y) but my family is still not complete. And if I am told to enjoy the children that I already have by one more person, I will not be responsible for my actions!!!!

Am sending you all lots of hugs and cups of tea and, of course, cake! X

I am grateful for your solidarity and sharing your stories. The mutual understanding helps a lot. I may well see if the doctor is willing to check for irregularities etc before ttc again.

At the moment I am wrestling practicalities. I have my scan tomorrow and no-one to have ds, DH feels he needs to work (he spent last thursday at the hospital with me) and he's under pressure. I'll manage the scan on my own and ds will be a nice distraction for me but I doubt the staff will be pleased to see me show up with cheeky toddler in tow and I'm worried he might strop during the scan if he is upset seeing me in unusual setting.

I do hope all of you get to complete your families without more heart-ache, I guess we'll keep trying for the moment at least but i feel like the oldest 41 yr old in the world atm! x

I had to take DD (2) with me for my confirmation scan and it was actually fine. Scan was at 3pm so kept her awake so she conked out on the way to the hospital. Slept in her pushchair through the scan but had to be quite matter of fact about everything as she could have woken at any time.

The staff were completely unfazed by her presence and seemed quite used to it. I think lots of women in this situation have toddlers. When DD woke up (just after the scan was over but while I was still on the couch) the sonographer chatted away to her and played peekaboo while I got dressed. The midwife was also pleased to see and chat with her.

Having DD there helped me hold it together until the evening when DH and I could be alone together. I found it better than times where I've had no distraction and had to focus on the loss immediately.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow but don't worry if you have to take DS along, it may turn out to actually be a comfort having him there.

No sooner do I have a crisis than you pop up and help. thanks so much, I do hope my ds is not the toddler they remember for years though [she says recalling the technicolour tantrum he threw when he saw me in dentists chair a few months ago]. I'll try to prepare him better this time and distract him too so...

I have packed food (his own sandwich box which he finds so exciting and calls 'lounch'), teletubbies film on my phone, cars and a book for him and a secret packet of emergency milkyway magic stars that he has been having only as prizes for potty training sucesses. Can't think of anything else other than change for the carpark and tissues,

Oh well here goes. Will update tomorrow afternoon x

Sounds like you are all set. Let us know how you get on x

Hope it all goes well with DS there, Inapuddle. x

I hope today goes well for you. And DS enjoys his 'lounch' !

Thinking of you today.

If you've got an I-phone, the Talking Tom app always goes down well with toddlers. And as you said, chocolate is the best bribery. Am sure the staff will help too

Dh and ds came with me in the end and ds was a nice distraction though I struggled to manage him with such a full bladder ( they make you wait such an impractical amount of time after two pints of water).

Anyways very sadly we have said goodbye to the dream of a march 2013 baby although I have to have a rescan next week for completeness.

I am sure that my pregnancy symptoms are decreasing and that the mc was clear enough for me to know there is no hope. I may be given the option of medical mgt or erpc next week but am unlikely to take them up.

My logical side understands and accepts, my emotional side is less understanding or accepting.

I'm grateful for all your support over the last few days it helped me so much. Thank you and best wishes for bouncing babies for us all very soon x

I agree with LunaticFringe, ask to be refered to st Mary's in London. We were refered there after six mc's and they tested me, then the next time I was pregnant led to dd.

Sending lots of love xxx