Late miscarriage last week

[TaytoCrisp]

It is one week since our beautiful, perfectly formed little boy arrived (23 weeks), too small to survive. We are still in shock trying to process all this, but we are ok. Last Friday morning I had a routine midwife appointment and everything seemed fine; besides from some protein showing up in the urine sample, and additional discharge I did not feel unwell. When I got home I started to notice light bleeding, and over the course of the morning felt pre-menstrual. After a short rest I contacted the hospital who asked me to come in; by the time arrived I was in labour and our beautiful little boy was born that evening.

At the moment we don't know why this might have happened, though some form of infection is currently thought to be the most likely cause. We might find out more after the results of blood tests and the postmortem in a few weeks time.

We are very grateful to have our dd1 who gives us strength and hope. I cant imagine how difficult this would be for people who are experiencing pregnancy for the first time. Having another baby ASAP is already on mind (possibly too much) and I am already lurking on the conception boards.

If anyone can share positive experiences about pregnancy and new babies after a late miscarriage that would be greatly appreciated at the moment.

I also just wanted to post here to mark the fact that it is one week since we lost our little boy. He was perfect in every way and I feel very sad that the environment he was in could not sustain him.

I had never looked in this section until the last few days - there are so many brave ladies here, I send my love to you all and hope that the months ahead bring us new hope and some luck.

Oh Tayto, I am so sorry to hear that. What a heartbreaking time for you. I don't have experience of this. I have just had an ectopic pregnancy at 6 wks. That was upsetting enough and doesn't even come close to what you are going through, the loss must be so painful to bear.

I hope others will be along to offer you better support soon. There are posters on here who have borne a lot of hardship and come out the other side. I pray you will too .

tayto so sorry to hear about your little boy, I lost my little girl Grace last march after a scan showed no heart beat at 20 Weeks. I too have previous children and never found out why Grace died.

I found the need to try again very soon after the Loss and I had my little rainbow baby this Feb. The pregnancy was hard especially with conflicting emotions but I found the ladies on here in the conception forum under title mothers of angels and trying for rainbows support amazing. (may not have got the title completely right but there are some amazing ladies on there)

Thank you very much for your kind words puffpants. Im very sorry to heard about your ectopic pregnancy too.

So sorry to hear about your loss of little grace shakey. Thank you for the inspiring story and for describing the conflicting emotions. I will definitely look to that thread in a while.. Many congratulations on the arrival of your new little one.

Tayto, how absolutely devastating. I know it's tempting to want to get pregnant immediately, it's a completely natural reaction. You will be on a roller coaster of emotions for a while. Take care of each other was the best advice I was given, try not to do it alone. Your little boy will always be just that, hold him dear in your memories. I can't say it gets better with time, it just gets easier to remember him without so much immediate sadness attached, if that makes sense.
So sad for you

OMG - I'm so so sorry. I know there's nothing I can say at all to make things better. I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. Please tell us more about your little boy if you would like.

Re stories of late miscarriage - I work with someone who had a late termination after the 20 week scan which had showed abnormalities incompatible with life. She now has two DC. The same thing has also happened to another colleague very recently. She isn't pregnant but is receiving the most marvellous support from the nhs to help her become so.

(((big hugs))))

So so sorry to hear this, Tayto - I hope you are getting a lot of support from your DH and your family and friends.

I have a friend who had a late MC at 24w who then went on to have twins the next time - she was in her late 30s at the time of the MC and I think 39 when she had the twins.

I have only had early MCs (3) and am currently 29w pg and still less relaxed than I'd like but trying hard to be.

My MIL had a still born baby first of all, and then went on to have 2 normal pregnancies afterwards - I don't know how people manage that, I am in awe of their resilience. She said it was hard to relax until her sons were actually born - but she managed.

Good luck with getting pg again - when my Mum lost her second baby (virus-induced abnormalities) she was also told to try again as soon as she could - I think it does help if you can manage it.

Much love and luck to you xx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1488079-Rainbow-Babies-hoping-and-trying-for-rainbows-loving-and-remembering-our-Angels-xxx

thats the thread i mean x

Thank-you mince, shiny and thumb for your helpful advice and reassuring stories.

Thumb - very sorry to hear about your MCs. Delighted to hear you are 29 weeks pregnant now - i send you lots of good wishes and will look out for your updates. Hope you're well, despite feeling a little anxious.

My sister was here for a few days, which was great; and my friend is here now. I'm very glad to have this week off (2nd week) to re-adjust - the physical changes that take place in a short space of time are very tiring.

Thank-you very much for thinking of us.

I lost our son Jacob at 20 weeks last sept due to incompetent cervix. I'm now 11 weeks pg and due to have a stitch in a couple of weeks that will hopefully stop it happening again.

I hung around the conception boards pretty much straight after but didn't start ttc until feb. Some people want to ttc straight after, some wait a while. Either way becoming pg again brings lots of different emotions.

I'm on the conception thread mentioned above. I've found the support from others who have had similar experiences has helped me immensely.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy and hope you get some answers as to what happened. Xx

Thank-you Moomins. It is reassuring that you got pregnant soon after but a bit bit scary too. I will hover around the conception boards for a while, i think the rainbow babies thread will be very helpful. Im very sorry to hear about little Jacob . I hope this pregnancy is going ok. I will keep an eye out for you and thumbwitch on the other threads; and look forward to some good news for you both (and maybe me too) in a few months.

So sorry to hear your sad story tayto. It is heatbreaking to lose a child at whatever stage of pregnancy. I recently lost my DS2, Thomas. At a routine gynaecologist appointment they coldn't find a heartbeat. He was born at 35 weeks on 22 August.

Like you, all I could think about afterwards was how much I wanted to be pregnant again- I think it's completely normal. DH and I have been ttc now for aout 2 months and I hope to be pregnant again soon.

The pain doesn't go away, but it does get easier to get through the days as time goes on. There are lots of ladies on the rainbow babies thread who have lost children and gone on to have healthy pregnancies. I lurk on there but don't really feel up to posting at the moment.

I hope you are coping OK and fingers crossed for good news again for you soon.

Amyboo I?m so sorry to hear about the loss of your little boy Thomas. I can?t imagine the shock you must have felt at receiving such news at a routine appointment, especially at such a late stage. I?m sending you love and hope for the coming months, and will keep an eye out for you on the rainbow babies thread. It?s very early days for us, so i will lurk there for a while for now. Thank you for the reassurance that things will get easier ? i really need to remember that at the moment and try to get through the next month without becoming overwhelmed. Big hug to you.

It does get easier as time goes on, i found the months after when I should have still been pg really hard. I was still on count down so was forever thinking I should be 24 weeks now, now I should have been 32 weeks and so on. Then when the dd arrived I started to accept that he wasnt going to be with us. I still have dark days and I think of him every day and always will.

They do say some people are very fertile after giving birth or having a mc. I had an early mc then became pg 8 weeks later with ds. Jacob was conceived 8 weeks after ds was born.

There would have been 11 months between ds and Jacob. Ds has just started walking and I often think how I'd have to have watched him like a hawk. He'd be walking all over his baby brother now and probably throwing things at him.

It does get easier as time goes on, i found the months after when I should have still been pg really hard. I was still on count down so was forever thinking I should be 24 weeks now, now I should have been 32 weeks and so on. Then when the dd arrived I started to accept that he wasnt going to be with us. I still have dark days and I think of him every day and always will.

They do say some people are very fertile after giving birth or having a mc. I had an early mc then became pg 8 weeks later with ds. Jacob was conceived 8 weeks after ds was born.

There would have been 11 months between ds and Jacob. Ds has just started walking and I often think how I'd have to have watched him like a hawk. He'd be walking all over his baby brother now and probably throwing things at him.

Sorry I meant he was born on 22 April not August! That's why we've only been ttc for 2 months.

I had an iPhone fail again! Amy sorry for your loss, I hope soon you will be telling us you are pg with your rainbow x

Amyboo - thank you for the clarifying. Our midwife also says that 2-3 months after a loss can be a particularly good time to conceive as long as the couple feel ready. I?m sending you lots of positive wishes and hope that you will have some good news soon.

Moomins - i agree it is so hard not to think about the weeks. We would be 25 weeks today ? which might have made a big difference to our little lad, though you never know. I think that having another little one on the way before the due date would be very helpful, though we don?t want to put ourselves under pressure.. so we will see. We won?t ever replace our lovely little lad, but we hope that we still have the chance to have another little family member in the coming year or so. Very best of luck with your pregnancy; i really hope you are doing ok, and i?ll look out for you on the other threads.

Taytocrisp, I am so, so sorry you lost your beautiful baby boy & I completely understand your need to be pregnant again.

I had a 29 weeker ( who measured 24 weeks at birth) and he survived - just - and had a very rollercoaster journey through NICU.

What helped me, and may help you too, was to have a consultant appointment after DS's birth, to discuss what happened, why, and what could be done in future pregnancies to prevent it happening again. I had a detailed plan of care for any future pregnancy.

Sending you strength to get through this difficult time x

tayto in the beginning I thought alot about how different things might have been if it all happened a few weeks later. I spent a lot of time imagining senarios that might have led to Jacob still being with us.

I think your right that having another baby on the way at due date time could be helpful, if it wasn't for the fact that I know my cervix was the problem and would be a problem in future pg I would have started ttc earlier. That and ds was only 7 months old when we lost Jacob and I was worried about leaving him again if I needed to spend time in hospital.

As it turns put this babys due date is 20th of feb and Jacobs was the 17 th of feb, which is quite strange

Thank you LotsofCheese. I?m so glad that your 29 week old was ok, though it must have been a very stressful time for you and for a good while afterwards. I noticed that you are on other ttc related threads ? i wish you the very best of luck, and hope you will have good news soon. I will have a consultants appointment in a few weeks time, and will have all our questions ready ; though we have been told results are inconclusive in as many as 50% of cases, so i?m trying not to focus too much on it. I will ask about plans for a possible future pregnancy ? many thanks for that advice.
Moomins - thank you for the encouragement. It must be strange having a similar due date, very mixed emotions. I will be sending you lots of good wishes and look forward to reading about your lovely new baby next year on the other threads.

Thanks tayto had 12 week scan yesterday and everything is looking good, im booked in for the stitch next weds. I will keep an eye on this thread incase you ever want to talk. When you feel ready everyone on the conception thread is lovely xx

Tayto so sorry you lost your little boy!
I lost DD2 last year at 20 weeks pregnant, at my 20 week scan we discovered she had no heartbeat... The postmortem we had done pointed out she had triploidy, which is incompatible with life.
I'm currently pregnant with DD3, almost 26 weeks, she'll be due 2 weeks after DD2 was supposed to be due... I had a very difficult time between 17 and 20 weeks this pregnancy, having to cope with her first birthday and being a similar gestation to when we lost her.
When you're ready do join us on the Rainbows thread, it is a good place to be...
Much love x

Im 18, I lost my little boy at 23 weeks on April 6th we called him Riley-Lee its his due date tomorrow and were having a picnic at his grave. We go up everyday if we can :). I'm pregnant again only 6weeks been bleeding. the baby moved down to the middle of my womb and there's bleeding next to the baby... the baby has a heartbeat and I've stopped bleeding ,). Hopefully good news. I miss him more than anything id do anything to have him back in my belly we had a perfect picture painted of what he was going to be like. He was 28cm and 49g no one can ever replace him. Stay strong thats what your little boy would want.. everytime you get heartache he's holding you tight :) hope this helps. Message me if you need to talk he'll always he on your mind I'd like to say it gets easier but 4months on i dont think it has... remember the memories of him kiccking you and the first time you saw him or when you found out you was going to have a little boy :) gets me through it... really hope this helps. X

I will be thinking of you next week Moomin; it will be very good to have that done. I?ll look forward to reading your semester 2 updates on the other threads soon .

Bluetinkerbell i am really very sorry to hear about the loss if your little girl. I can only imagine the mixed emotions that a new pregnancy would bring. Although i have a strong desire to conceive again, the whole journey must take a lot of strength and bravery. I really admire you and the other ladies like Moomin and Thumb who are pregnant again, and will be inspired by your stories. I?ll be thinking of you and will follow your news on the Rainbow thread. I don?t feel like joining just yet, but hopefully in another while. Big hug to you.

Riley, i?m so sorry to hear your story too. I hope Thursday went ok; it must have been such a sad day for you, but it sounds like you had people close to you around. I have only realised the huge importance of family and close friends at a time like this.. I am also sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with this pregnancy; i will keep my fingers crossed for you that everything will be ok. I feel very sad when i think about our little boy, he is always at the forefront of my mind especially during the spaces between things (e.g. any time i am on my own, not working, not speaking to anyone). I find being busy-ish helpful, and i don?t look at his little pictures very often, for me that is helpful ? we are all so different in how we try to cope with this. I hope you are ok after a difficult week and send you love and hope for the future.