My feed

to access all these features

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

waiting to miscarry my second baby

10 replies

cartoonface · 20/06/2012 12:09

Im 9wks pregnant, only I'm kinda not there is only an empty sac. I have had 2 scans and both showed the same there is no hope for this pregnancy now. Just my body hasn't realised.
My previous one was a mmc to and was in march.
This waiting is horrible but I'm terrified of having another mc and I'm not sure how ill cope.
Should I have waited longer, did I get pregnant too soon? I keep asking why, what have I done.
I just don't know what to do now

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 20/06/2012 12:11

You've done nothing wrong my lovely, nothing at all.

Are you at home? Is anyone with you?

cartoonface · 20/06/2012 12:19

Yes I am and my mums here my partner is at work.
I have not had so much as a spot of blood yet but I hope its not much longer. I have to go for another scan on Monday. Just incase. They havent suggested d&c yet as the sac is still a little too small to make a definite decision but they think I will mc. There was an area if bleeding seen on my last scan.

OP posts:
birdofthenorth · 20/06/2012 15:26

I'm so sorry for your second loss, you poor thing. Haven't they offered you a pill to speed things up?

spottymerlin · 20/06/2012 15:33

I'm so sorry for your losses. I m/c my first pregnancy a couple of months ago. I'm still grieving the loss. I feel like it's going to take some time to come to terms with it.
I guess time will tell if you wish to try again. I personally am just not ready yet. I feel pressure because I am older and should probably be getting on with it. But emotionally and physically I just feel far from ready.
I guess everyone is different.
They say time is a healer, and I'm waiting in hope that they are right.

cartoonface · 20/06/2012 17:42

bird they haven't offered me anything yet. With their guidelines I have to wait for another scan just to be sure. But its just prolonging the inevitable really.

merlin I threw myself in to trying again asap because I knew it was the only thing that would make me feel better. But its a very personal thing and I'm not sure wot I will want when the time comes. I cant grieve properly yet as the mc hasn't even started yet the wait is horrible

OP posts:
Jodidi · 20/06/2012 17:53

I'm so sorry you're going through this. The limbo you are going through just waiting for it to happen must be so hard. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sure it is nothing you have done wrong. I feel like a hypocrite saying that as I haven't yet got to the stage of believing it about my own mc which happened at Easter, but I think it's true. I completely understand about wanting to try again as soon as possible and there has been research that suggests women who get pg within 6 months of a mc have a higher success rate than those who wait a bit longer, not a big difference but enough that I am confident that needing to wait is a bit of a myth. I wanted to try again asap but my dp won't, and I can't think of how I'm supposed to feel better if he won't help me get pg again.

cartoonface · 20/06/2012 19:37

It's difficult for me to comment on that because I also read that u have a slightly better chance in those first 6months and it obviously wasn't true for me.
What are ur dps reasons for wanting to wait? Trying again was something I knew I needed to do and forced myself into it because I knew I'd feel better once pregnant and I did for this short time. I think trying again this time will take me longer.
At the moment most of the time I don't feel anything I can't except something that hasn't yet happened even thou I know it is. I don't think anyone could perform a miracle big enough to make a fetus suddenly appear at my scan on Monday

OP posts:
Jodidi · 20/06/2012 21:30

I know it hasn't worked for you but I only mentioned it because you were wondering if you had got pg too soon and I wanted to reassure you that wasn't the case. I genuinely believe that nothing you did or didn't do contributed to your mc but can't bring myself to believe it about my own.

I think feeling numb is perfectly normal, especially in this time you are waiting for it to happen. I still feel numb quite a lot of the time and it's nearly 3 months since mine happened, when i'm not feeling numb I feel intensely sad and cry a lot.

Dp doesn't want to wait, he doesn't want to try again at all :( The last pregnancy was a surprise and he took a long time to accept it, so when it ended I think he was relieved rather than sad, even though he hasn't said it in so many words.

Irishmammybread · 20/06/2012 21:30

So sorry to hear of your loss.
I'm in a very similar situation, had a MC at the end of March, got pregnant again after my first AF and MC again the week before last .
I have been through the same questioning .....had we had tried too soon, should we try again now. Time isn't on my side as I'm 44 but I completely understand that feeling of needing to be pregnant again. I have got some great support and encouragement from the lovely ladies on MN.
It's a heartbreaking time, thinking of you

MummysLittleSunbeams · 20/06/2012 21:37

I'm sorry you are going through this. I had 3 mc's in 2009. The need to get pregnant again very quickly was so strong after each one.

I finally fell pregnant in jan 2010 with dd2 after one session of acupuncture. My acupuncturist said that I had a kidney deficiency which had caused the mc's.

Please don't blame yourself, it's nothing you did or didn't do to cause the mc.

Sending hugs.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.