MMC at 8+5 - not sure what to expect?

[webminx]

Hello,
We were v excited to get pregnant with DC2 and would have been 11 week pg this week, but went for early scan today due to light bleeding at weekend and there was no heartbeat. Sonographer estimates baby died around 8+5 weeks. Hormone levels are still very high. Am really gutted. Everyone at hospital been great; opted for medical management - i.e. pill now and pessaries in 48 hours. What can I expect in terms of what will actual come away? Everyone at hospital was bit vague and one consultant talked a lot about tissue and "product" which wasn't particularly helpful. Am very emotional and still in shock a bit, I think. Will I see the baby? Should I take a week off work or just two days? Is there really no way of knowing what caused it?
Feel really stupid as thought we were home clear and had told some friends at the weekend :(.

Would be great to hear from anyone else who's gone through this!

Hi webminx, sorry you are going through this. I've had 3 natural mc and 1 erpc, never had the pessaries. But with regards to what comes away, for me it was like a heavy period for a day with quite severe cramping, needed strong painkillers and my bed. You will feel clots coming away and obviously one large one which will be the sac, after this my cramping slowed and so did the bleeding. I bled for about 7-10 days each time, after day 2 the bleeding was quite light. Everyone seems to have slightly different experiences though. I never saw a baby, I never tried to look to be honest, it was traumatic enough for me. IME you will know when you are passing the 'products', so if you wanted to collect you could. You could have it tested for chromosomal abnormalities (?) so I understand, though I have never done this.

There's a thread around somewhere about the practicalities of mc, might be worth a read. I would take a week off if I were you, give yourself a break. I felt very emotional and exhausted for a while afterwards (still do!).

With regards to causes, 1 spontaneous mc is considered 'unlucky' and unless you pay for private tests, the NHS won't test for causes until you've had 3 concurrently.

Take care of yourself x

thank you yearling! Am already feeling pretty weepy and emotional about it all - guessing I'm going to be even more emotional as the process gets underway. Really helpful to have an idea of what I can actually expect; lots of very well-meant waffley/vague muttering from hospital staff but not great for detail. Mind you, I was a bit shocked and didn't think to ask much either. Half the thing for me is knowing what I'll be facing though, so again, thanks for your reply!

Hi Webminx, unfortunately we share the same misfortune. I would have been 11 weeks pregnant this week too but also had a MMC, discovered at 9+3. Mine was an empty sac with little fetal development so there may have been less for my body to get rid of but for me, I had strong contractions and was in pain for about 15 mins while I passed the sac and some other stuff. That was 12 days ago and I am still bleeding lightly but not in pain or having cramps. The pain only really lasted for that 15 mins and I took ibuprofen which helped. You should definitely take time off work until you have passed the sac (you will know for sure when you have). It's not something you will want to have happen at work. I was also exhausted and felt really run down (like a bad cold was coming on) for about a week. The sac kind of looked like a kidney and then there was stringy stuff. Aside from that, it's just been similar to a period. You definitely won't see a baby - it would have been tiny.

I'm being really matter of fact with my post but it's also information I would have liked to have had but not something that you can really ask someone face to face.

It's such a hard thing to go through but I think the emotional stuff is harder than the physical side. It will hurt a bit but you'll easily handle it (it was nothing like labour!!).

Take care of yourself and wishing you a health and successful next pregnancy.

Thanks Mintie190, sorry to hear you're going through the same thing too :(.
Really helpful to hear what I can expect - nobody tells you these things and there never seems a good time to ask for details.

I'll take a week off work at least to give myself time to deal with it and hopefully to begin accepting/healing in peace!
Really never thought about MCs before; naively assumed they wouldn't happen to me and as nobody really talks about them, my experience of friends/family having MCs is very limited. I never realized how painful, emotionally and how harrowing the process can be. Eye-opening and really makes me appreciate what we had with DC1 more - fingers crossed we all go on to have healthy and successful pregnancies if that's what we choose.

Hi Webminx. Unfortunately, I have been in the same position too. Had a scan last week after spotting when I thought I was 10+3 to discover the baby died at 8+5. (I also had a natural miscarriage in Feb at 6+3). I opted for medical management and had to go to hospital on Friday and Saturday for pills (both taken orally). I had to stay at the hospital on Saturday until I passed everything.

They put a bowl thing on the toilet and everytime I'd been I had to ring the buzzer for someone to come and collect it. Like Mintie said you will know when it's happened. I did have a look and it didn't look like a baby. I took the tablets on Sat at 8am and was home my midday although they said I had to be prepared to be at hospital all day.

I have been off on Monday and today but am going back to work tomorrow. Physically, I feel fine. Felt drained on Saturday but absolutely well on Sunday. Emotionally, it's a different story, of course- so take as much time as you need.

Take care of yourself and your partner xxx

Hi Lorsa, Sorry to hear you were in the same boat :(.

It has started by itself today but it's slow and just like a period so far, so I'm guessing I may still need to go in on Friday for tablets. Feel very sad but also glad that it's started in a way...

webmix sorry to hear of your loss. I am now on 5th mc latest diagnosed on Tues. Have always done wait and see. each one has got heavier. I have never suffered much pain but I believe the discomfort with medical management can be higher as it is quickening up the process. I have never known pre leaving my body the products/ sac were passing as no discomfort as they moved through the cervix. my quandry this time is what to do with the sac and precious cargo inside?
Hope things have not been too physically painful but I realise undoubtedly draining if you are still on for medication thinking of you. do not set a date by which you feel you have to return to work. allow yourself to grieve and be mentally in the best place you can be.
miscarriage.org maybe helpful.

Thanks ladies - @bugsylugs: that's very sad - hope you're ok. Thanks for replying.
Had the pessaries and now waiting. Is actually very very uncomfortable, despite the painkillers. Fingers crossed it will at least make it quicker.

Webminx, I hope yesterday went as well as these things can. Take all the time you need xxx