Scan showed missed miscarriage. Hospital appointment tomorrow what to expect?

[cogitosum]

Hello
Had scan 2 weeks ago just for reassurance for much wanted DC1 (no spotting, pain or other problems) it showed everything fine. Baby was in the right place with heartbeat. It measured 0.47cm which seemed small to me as going by my dates I was 7 weeks minimum. She put me at just under 6 weeks but was adamant it was nothing to worry about. I was worried all week but everyone else (dh etc) were seeing it as positive that there was a heartbeat and I tried to relax.
Had booking appointment With midwife on Friday. I told her about scan and my concerns but she was not worried and said that the heartbeat was a good sign and it's unlikely there would be problems - my dates could be wrong and the scan is not that accurate so early. I was reassured and relaxed at bit but started panicking again in the afternoon so on the spur of the moment booked another scan for Saturday morning.

I knew as soon as the image came onto the screen that it had died last time you saw movement from heartbeat. This time nothing. An internal scan confirmed there was no longer a heartbeat and it was now 0.41. It was horrific.

Sonographer booked me an appointment for tomorrow at epu but I'm not sure what to expect or how long to tell work I'll be off for. I understand the 3 options. Nothing has happened since she told me - still no bleeding or pain and still feel pregnant. If I go for the ERPC will they do it tomorrow or will I need another appointment?

Sorry this was meant to be a quick question and it's turned into an essay. I find writing it all down quite helpful - well done if you've got to the end. Also sorry for being so self pitying. I just feel devastated but I know people go through much worse.

I have been through the same as you, if you decide to go for an ERPC, I guess they will fit you in when they can, I was lucky it was the next day, although a friend waited a week, which is terrible still thinking/feeling you are pregnant and knowing you are not.
I think the mental anguish is the worse thing. The ERPC procedure isnt painful, just very depressing. The blood loss wasnt too bad for me after, but its a reminder thats its all over.

Good luck with it all, its isnt pleasant but talking about it helps. I was offered counselling which was brilliant.
YOu are not alone, you will find loads of people have gone through this but we rarely talk about it. MN is great , just ask and everyone answers!
Hope that helps

Hello Cogito.

Sorry to hear that you have had to go through this. I had a mmc picked up at 12 week scan in 2010. Like you, as soon as I saw the screen I could see that our baby had died.

I couldn't deal with waiting for the miscarriage to happen as I'd have felt in limbo about it so opted for ERPC which was done 3 days later. Yes, the waiting was hard but I has a date to focus on and I carried on working whilst waiting and tried to keep things as normal as possible for me.

The procedure it's self it fairly straight forward and quick, you should only be in for half a day. The only advice I can give is to go easy on yourself and do what you need to do to get through. I promise you that it does get easier and the tears do stop, the hardest part for me was waiting for the op, until that waa over it was hard to move on.

Very best wishes to you, be kind to yourself.

Thank you mardarse and northeroldie. So it's unlikely anything will actually happen tomo. I'm still undecided on what I want to do as I have a huge phobia of anesthetic (sp)

The thing I'm worried about with work is that it could start at any moment and I'm out on meetings a lot. Not sure what I'd do as I've heard it can be painful. Would they sign me off?

I am sure they would sign you off. GA scared the life out of me too, but the staff were really nice and put me at ease right away. There wasn't much pain after the ERPC and whilst it's not for everyone I did feel like I could move on after it. It may well be done tomorrow, i think it depends on the hospital. Thinking of you, it's totally shit.

They try to do it as soon as possible but for mine I waited 3 days with the first, and 5 with the second.

It does get easier, its almost 6 years since I lost my first mmc and I would honestly advise the ERPC rather than medical management as I personally found it not just physically painful but emotionally traumatic too.

Wishing you strength and luck today. And its perfectly normal to break down, the hospital are used to it and is nothing to be ashamed of.

Go easy on your self. My thoughts are with you.

In my experience not only will they sign you off but they also will ask you if your work knows so they can put something other than 'miscarriage' on your sick note.

I had an ERPC after my MMC, and it was a good decision. I knew that's what I wanted when we found out - it wasn't my first mc - so they organised it and I was seen 3 days later. It was easier because it meant that it was all done in one day, rather than the waiting for it with a natural one.

I hope your appointment goes well today and you are able to make the right choice for you. Look after yourself.

So sorry for your loss. I've just had a MMC found at 9 + 6 and I miscarried it naturally this weekend at 12 + 2. I too was really reluctant to have a general anaesthetic and the increased risk of infection with an ERPC. If you have any questions about expectant/conservative miscarriage which I can help with, I would be really happy to answer them from my experience. I have had MCs at 5 and 6 weeks as well. I wouldn't say it was easy, but it was right for me and not frightening. I realise some people can't cope with waiting but that was less frightening for me than the thought of an operation. My local hospitals do not offer the procedure under local but some do so this is another potential option, but again not for everyone. I also have friends who've had ERPCs and found that the best option for them. Whatever you decide will be what's best for you xx

Hey,
Sorry to hear of your news, isn't it shi7e? :(

We also found out at our 12 week scan that baby had died a matter of days earlier. Of the three options I chose erpc though they couldn't fit me in for over a week. In that time I still felt preg and had no signs whatsoever of mc. I asked for a 'make sure' scan before I agreed to let anyone near me just to confirm in my head that baby had indeed died.

In total I was signed off for four weeks with the erpc in the first 10 days. I was offered no counselling at all though the docs did want to see me if I felt my mood dipping at all (erm, hello?!)

Would 'recommend' the erpc as I know there is absolutely no way I could handle seeing anything I'd passed.

Desperately TTC now. Just pray this one sticks around.

Thank you for all your messages and sorry to everyone else who has been through it or is going through it

I decided to go for ERPC and it's booked for tomorrow. I'm pleased it'll be over but it feels really final - that I definitely won't be pregnant any more (even through I know I'm not really pregnant now)

We're going to try again straight away, which is one of the reasons we went for ERPC.

HOspital yesterday was pretty shit - after scan confirming what we knew we were told to wait in a room for a doctor - in the end we waited in this room on our own for over 3 hours before seeing anyone - and they kept saying they were just coming so had no time for lunch and I was feeling so sick - not looking forward to going back tomorrow

Oh Cogito, sorry you've had a stressful & upsetting day. I had an ERPC for missed miscarriage yesterday, if you'd like information about what happens on the day, just say.

And also to let you know that today I am feeling well, have not really required pain medication & am just a bit sleepy after the anaesthetic xxx

I'm glad you've got a day/time booked for it, you know where you are then. After you can move on and try again.
Sorry to hear the hospital wasnt very organised and you got left alone. I hope tomorrow there will be more support. Our hospital was wonderful and I was cared for very well. Its not a pleasant experience and the next few days wont be easy, cry, talk and try to say a quick goodbye ( my DH and I went to a memorial a few months after I lost my 2nd and it was very sad but I felt it was a proper goodbye)

Definitely try again soon. We did and before I had my next period I was pregnant!
Good luck and

Hello had ERPC all went well and today they were absolutely amazing. Actually feeling fine now - no pain at all and bleeding has stopped but now a bit worried about that!

Lotsofcheese I'm sorry you had this and hope you are as ok as possible

We went away at the weekend and said our goodbyes then we wrote the name we'd been calling her (for some reason has pictured a girl) in the sand it was lovely!

We are going to ttc straight away. Basically told there is no reason to wait!

Thank you everyone it has really helped reading all of your posts you are all wonderful and hope everything works out for everyone xx

Cogito so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking but time is a great healer. I had an ERPC for my miscarriage in February last year. I was in hospital for 3 days beforehand as my blood loss was so heavy (was 9 weeks). I had minimal blood loss after the op and was basically fine albeit anaemic. They advised me to wait at least one period which we did and then we conceived again. My adorable little 6 month old DS is snoozing away in his cot as I type (I have a 3 year old DD too.) These first few days / weeks are hard but I can assure you it does get easier. We planted a rose bush in our garden for our little bean and it's coming along nicely! Wishing you lots of luck TTC and sending you warm hugs

Cogito: so glad the op went well. I do feel it's the better option, both physically & mentally.

Good luck with TTC! I'm going to await the pathology 1st & also require do some further tests as I had a previous molar pregnancy.

In the meantime, we're going to rebook the trip we had to cancel to New York.

Here's to happier times xxx