Medical management - what to expect?

[highlove]

I had a seven week scan last week (first and deperately wanted pregnancy) which revealed baby is measuring too small and heartbeat too slow. We were told heart will inevitably stop over next few days or week. I have to go back later this week for follow up scan to confirm no heartbeat. Assuming nature hasn't already intervened, I'm told I will then be offered 'options' which having researched I presume are ERPC or medical management. I think we've decided on medical management as I don't want to wait potentially weeks for my body to do it itself but having had problems following routine interventions before, I'm wary of ERPC as it's more invasive. So medical management seems like the way to go. This might sound heartless but I just want it done quickly so we can try again. I'm not heartless, I'm devastated. But I'm also trying to be practical. The only thing that will make me feel remotely better is to be pg again.

I'd appreciate any experiences of medical management. Will I be given it there and then after the scan? How long will it take to work? How will I feel 24/48 later? How long will the pain last and when (physically) will I start to get back to normal. We are thinking of heading away for a few days early next week to recover - am I being silly thinking I will be up to going away three or four days after all this happens?

Thanks. And my deepest sympathies to those who sadly know the answers to my questions x

My personal experience of medical management was quite mixed. I had a private scan on a Saturday and went to the hospital on the Tuesday. I chose medical management and came back on the Wednesday morning for the pill. Then you have to wait 48 hours so I went into the hospital on the Friday as a day patient.
To be honest it was worse for me than what i expected, I expected a "heavy period" type of bleeding and heavy period type pains and it was actually more like contractions and I had to use gas and air. That said, it was over very quickly and I could go back home shortly after lunch. I felt crap for the next couple of days and of course still had bleeding but mostly I just stayed in bed or on the sofa. I wouldn't have been going away that soon personally just in case the mc doesn't complete itself and you need to go back to the hospital for the erpc. I'd give it a week or two and then I think that would be a great time for a little break.

Everyone is different in terms of recovery but generally most people are back to normal physically within a week or so. It's the emotional recovery that takes the time.

Hi kitandkat, thanks for your reply and also for your lovely message on my other post. I'm so sorry for your losses - it's shite, isn't it?

I spoke to the hospital today and they seem to do it a bit differently in that I could be given it straight after scan on Thursday and basically then sent home to get on with it so long as someone is here to look after me. They said they'd give me something additional to take the following day if I haven't bled heavily but again, I'd be at home and could take it myself. Would be interested to hear if anyone has experienced this kind of protocol?

I think this is the norm in some hospitals. To put it bluntly, the procedure is the same as the abortion pill and they tend to let women get on with that at home. Just make sure you get some decent painkillers in case you need them. It has the advantage that you can be in your own bathroom during the worst of it and not in some crappy hospital. And you can relax in your own bed too. Make sure your husband/partner is there with you throughout. If you aren't happy with what they suggested there is always the erpc. I found that preferable personally due to lack of pain but was rather scared of the general anaesthetic beforehand.

Thank you clementine. If you don't mind me asking, what are your plans from here with IVF etc? My BFP wasn't completely natural - was taking fertility drugs - but had given up on prospect of getting pg without IVF. I want to try again as soon as we can so would be interested to hear what you are doing from here.

hi, so sorry you're going through this, it's a horrible experience, I know.

I had a MMC last November - I found out at the 12 wk scan (the baby had died at 10 wks). I had the first pill right there and then, and then went back the next day for the pessaries and the rest of the pills. If you haven't had a mc before, then be prepared for a LOT of blood and clots, it is EXTREMELY messy. I was at the hospital and I basically just sat on the commode and watched DVDs on a laptop. You will need proper pain medication, though I was lucky in that I wasn't really in any pain (possibly because I was so totally in shock, I don't know). The worst part was the "rummaging" at the end, the doc had to get the placenta out and it had all stuck at the cervix.

I would consider going away maybe a week after. It's a really good idea to get away but you might still be bleeding a lot and to be honest, like clementine, I wasn't really fit to go out some days. Partly because of the shock though.

Hope that it all happens quickly and easily. Like Clementine says be very gentle with yourself, it's a horrible thing to go through x

Hi There, thought I would add my experience, it might help!
I didn't want to wait for a natural miscarriage either, I found out at the 12 week scan that our baby had died about 2 days beforehand. I didn't want a general anaesthetic either unless completely unavoidable (stupid attitude nowadays, but I am a bumpkin). So medical management it was.

I was asked if I wanted to stay in hospital for the day whilst the pills took effect, and I would recommend that. I was given the pills (4 of them) internally (the nurse was ace, in fact, all the staff were). About an hour later I had pretty intense cramps, but no pain as bad as say, a broken arm or leg. Just like a hell of a period. A couple of hours after that came the 'pop' and my water broke. After that, I bled in 'waves' or gushes, the nurses took away everything that I passed so they could check it and I saw the baby which I found very comforting. I didn't expect that, but I did feel better afterwards. I was in hospital for about 12 hours in total and the nurses didn't let me go until they were pretty sure everything passed. I felt so much better that the nurses would tell me if I was bleeding too much - if I had been at home, I am pretty sure I would have been panicking - I mean, how much is too much?!

Once I left hospital I had no pain at all. I bled fairly heavily (soaking a maxi pad in a couple of hours) for a day, then the bleeding got less and less every day for two weeks. Following that, four weeks of every kind of discharge you can imagine (sorry, tmi) but no one warned me about that and I was on the phone to the EPU every couple of days describing paint chart colours! Six weeks later my period has just started and it is normal so far.

Hope that helps, sorry it was so long!