Slow heartbeat and measuring small. Just waiting for it to end.

[highlove]

I had a seven week scan yesterday for a very much wanted and hard-fought for first baby that has taken us 18 months to conceive. We were told that baby is measuring 5.5-6 weeks which is earlier than possible given when I got my BFP. And the heartbeat is very very slow. I have to go back in a week if nature hasn't taken it's course by then. We were told no hope so trying to cone to terms with it and not cling onto hope of a miracle, though it's hard not to.

I don't know what to do with myself. Am devastated, of course, and just lost. Just hoping nature will get on with it as don't think I can bear much longer not knowing if my baby's died yet and if not how much longer it will be and just waiting for the worst.

Not sure if writing it helps. I don't know what to expect though the threads here give have helped. I just want to sleep for months till it's all over.

So so sorry to others experiencing this loss.

Have absolutely nothing helpful to say but just wanted to express my sympathies. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

Sending you lots of love.

In a similar boat to you, 11 weeks plus 2 and a missed miscarriage and waiting for things to happen. My fourth miscarriage. All I can say is be kind to yourself. I found the first one very hard so I know how you must be feeling. I had my DD between the first and the second MC so keep the faith xx

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. The same thing happened to me nearly 2 years ago, an early scan showed poor growth and a slow heartbeat so I was told to come back in a week for another scan, it was one of the longest weeks of my life. I lost the pregnancy and chose to have an ERPC but got pregnant 4 months later with my gorgeous DD2 who is now 10 months.

I know you have been told to not hope, but I will come and say that scans can get it wrong. I had a scan at 7w3d with my dd, I was told I was only measuring 5 weeks and no heartbeat, like you I had had a positive pregnancy test that proved this was not possible, plus I was very confident over when I ovulated. So therefore I went away thinking it was all over, but 2 weeks later everything measured exactly right for dates and all was well. My dd is now 7 years old. (a tilted uterus can mean that the baby can measure 2 weeks behind)

However I have also had 11 miscarriages where I measured behind dates and it did end in miscarriage.

I just want you to know that scans are not definiative in what they show. It is horrible being in the limbo time of not knowing if/when the pregnancy will end. All I can advice is try to focus on other things in your life and just wait for nature to do its job, whichever way this goes.

Thank you all for kind comments and I'm so sorry to hear of your experiences. Though you've given me a bit of hope that next time we might be luckier.

I'm pretty much resigned to the inevitable now and just want to get it over and try again. I hope that doesn't sound cruel. I know this probably isn't a usual reaction but ive spent so long thinking I can't get pg (was told two years ago I never would and we were heading for IVF later in the yr) that despite everything that's happened I've actually got more faith in my body now and feel optimistic about our chances from here.

Thank you again for your support x

I'm so sorry, I've been in that position too with my first pregnancy and it was bad news at the follow up scan, although I hadn't had it spelled out to me at the first one that there was no hope. It's really tough, worse actually than just finding out that you have miscarried as you know the embryo is still alive and you are waiting for it to die so you can have the miscarriage over with. One part of you doesn't want it to die, the other wants the whole thing to be over as quick as possible.

Take it easy on yourself during this time and allow yourself to feel however you need to feel. Get as much support as you can. Don't even worry about work or anything else apart from looking after yourself. Some people find distraction helps, others just need to lie on the sofa and cry for a week. There is no right or wrong way.

Have a think about your options before your next appointment so you have an idea if you want to wait for a natural mc or have medical or surgical management. There's lots of info online and on this board about it. I've had both surgical and medical management and personally I found that easier than waiting.

It will seem utterly utterly shit to you at the moment and it is most unfair. But it will get better in time. Wanting to try again asap is a totally normal reaction and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way, it isn't cruel. I felt that way both times. And now I have my six week old baby boy sleeping on my chest in his sling. I'm glad that you are feeling optimistic about the future - you'll get there in the end.

I’m sorry to restart this thread 8 years later, but it’s the only thread I’ve found that matches my situation. Small baby, very low heartbeat, and spotting. They told me I’ll miscarry soon, but the waiting has me in agony. Can you please share how long it took to miscarry after receiving the news? Thank you ❤️

Hi @highlove!

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. I was there earlier this year.

Did they offer you a re-scan? How many weeks are you and did they mention what the HB was?

At my MC earlier this year which started with spotting at week 8, I had the same comments from the ultrasound. Went back 2 weeks later for another scan and sadly, the HB had stopped.

Didn't have a natural miscarriage and opted for ERPC.

Wanted to send you a big hug and keep us updated? Maybe there's a silver lining if theres another scan?

Thank you so much for your kind words and a reply!

I began spotting at 7 weeks. Went in for ultrasound at 8 weeks. Told me the baby was measuring closer to 6 weeks (there’s no way I was only 6 weeks) and a HR of only 66. Scheduled me for another ultrasound 2 weeks out which feels like waiting forever, but it sounds like you went back in 2 weeks, as well.

Almost 9 weeks now and still spotting and loss of pregnancy symptoms (which I haven’t felt for most of my pregnancy anyway). I just want it all to end so I can try to move on.

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss this year, too. Sending my love ❤️ I will keep you updated.

Yes @Amn24 that does sound similar to my experience I had.

The hardest part is the waiting (every day feels like it has 72 hours not 24 hours) and not knowing what will happen, if it will happen, or when it will happen. I relate to that feeling very much and I felt this way as well.

I surprisingly felt it was easier to get out for some fresh air during that time on the weekends, during the week I went to work to distract myself and went prepared for a worst case scenario of anything happening whilst at work. That's me though, I'm naturally anxious anyway!

I read a lot of Dr Google stories at that time and I also saw many posts of ladies who went for scans and were told little chance of continuing, to then go back and having had lots of growth and strong HB. I think it can go either way, unfortunately.

Everyone has their own personal story of how they experience this, and I have to say coming on here is helpful just to vent and feel less lonely and isolated as such a time can really be....

Here for you and keep me posted!

@LASandOtto

Yes, waiting is so agonizing! And it feels awful, but I just wish for the worst and want everything to just be over. It’s what I have in my mind and for some reason it’s comforting thinking only one way (and it’s hard to think different when the midwife really only gave a negative impression and prepped me for what will happen in miscarriage).

Will keep you updated. Thanks so much for chatting 💕

Anytime! Remember you're not alone.... I know it's a tough time!

Here whenever for a chat!! X

@Amn24 so sorry you are facing this. 4 weeks ago I thought I was 11weeks pregnant but I had the tiniest of bleeding when tried to go to toilet after feeling a little constipated no more bleeding afterwards but I contacted hospital and was referred to EPU for a scan. Scan showed a small baby with heartbeat and consultant was saying I was just earlier in dates than I thought I was. I knew things were not good as I would not have had a BFP when I did if dates were that far behind.

I was told to come back for re scan the following week so they could check growth. The following few days I had some light brown discharge and I knew things were not good as I’ve got 2DC already so knew how things were for me at similar dates previously.

Me and my partner spent days crying and wishing things could be different and I was afraid of things not progressing but then having to go through a D&C. The day I was meant to be 12weeks my stomach felt hard and uncomfortable and then I started bleeding small clots. I thought that was the worst but in the early hours of the next morning I felt full labour pains until I passed large black clots. I had to go back to my rescan appointment as hospital wanted to check everything had passed as otherwise there is risk of infection.

I really hope you get good news but if you don’t be kind to yourself and let your body rest. We were told 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and that it is rarely caused by anything the mother has done. I had 3 weeks off work until I felt ready to return, a week of self cert between scans and then 2 weeks sick note afterwards. Don’t push yourself to return until you feel ready and it is pregnancy related so can’t be held against you. Also I found it helpful to tell close friends and my mum what was happening so that they could help with other children and have someone to talk too.

So sorry OP, this is so sad. Hope you do get a miracle.

@LASandOtto @alphabetti

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I’m so sorry you have dealt with the same thing.

Began cramping with some bleeding about 4 days after my initial ultrasound. Received another ultrasound yesterday (9 days after the initial one) and found out there is no heartbeat. Midwife recommended pill to get the miscarriage moving. Hoping it works so I can avoid surgery for now!