3 miscarriages in 2012 so far!!!!

[2up2down]

Had a missed miscarriage last week (ERPC) found a 12 week scan, but foetus had stopped developing at 8.5 weeks. I'd also had two early losses in January (5 weeks) and February (4.5 weeks). It's been a tough year!

We're going to start trying again this cycle, but I feel so scared that 1) we won't conceive 2) I'll be so stressed I'll cause another miscarriage and 3) the tests we are getting done will show that we have a problem which can't be fixed e.g. dud eggs!

Also, I'm in two minds about whether we really have had 3 miscarriages - the 4.5 weeks and 5 weeks seem so early, that for many studies they don't even count as pregnancies. My EPU won't recognise them as they are so early, partiuclalry the 4.5 weeks as it was just based on my own positive pregnancy test. I know once you hit three miscarriages, your chances of a live birth drop. Are we there yet?

I don't know whether to be hopeful or not. Anyone else felt any of this?

Hi sorry for your losses
I too have had 3 mc in the past year, 1st was mmc at 13 week died at 8wk then I had 2 early mc both at 6 weeks and I am trying to stay positive. So far tests have come back normal and I have my specialist appt in 3 weeks.
We will get there and nobody has mentioned that after 3 mc i am unlikely to have a baby!!
I read just the other day that a woman after 13 mc/stillbirths had a live baby now 6 months old.
Keep positive best you can.

2up2down - I'm am so very sorry for your losses! Words don't seem right!
It's so hard to find words to say but only you know how you feel and how to deal with things! I do hope you are getting full support from Dp/Dh and loved ones! I'm sure someone will come along soon with some great advice. I have suffered 3 losses not as close as yours and I'm still recovering from my latest eptopic and removal of tube! 2 losses a year apart,it took us a year to get pregnant!It feels like life has " sucker punch" me, at first but I'm now looking forwards and feel much stronger them yesterday! We women are stronger then we think! Big hugs to you x

Hiya, the advances made in home testing means that women are more aware of early mc than they were years ago, many "late periods" are actually chemical pregnancies, and the causes of those tend to be very different to later mc/mmc. In all honesty, I would give it a month before ttc again, allow yourself to grieve and your body to recover. You cannot "cause" another mc, stress isn't an issue (women get pg during wars/famine/as result of rape/moving house - the stress issue is a myth we tell ourselves to pretend we have any control) and your chances of a live birth after 3 mc's is still very good.

Good luck. Its tough, I know.

Hiya, the advances made in home testing means that women are more aware of early mc than they were years ago, many "late periods" are actually chemical pregnancies, and the causes of those tend to be very different to later mc/mmc. In all honesty, I would give it a month before ttc again, allow yourself to grieve and your body to recover. You cannot "cause" another mc, stress isn't an issue (women get pg during wars/famine/as result of rape/moving house - the stress issue is a myth we tell ourselves to pretend we have any control) and your chances of a live birth after 3 mc's is still very good.

Good luck. Its tough, I know.

Thank you for the lovely replies.
purple84 Sorry for being negative. You are right - there is no reason to say we are unlikely to have a baby. In fact, my granny had 6 miscarriages before her two children and likely had many more before 6 weeks that she woudn't even know about. Good luck to you with trying again.That's great that tests have come back positive!

Countmyblessings Ectopic must have been really tough. Thanks for your support - it does feel like its a "sucker punch" - you just don't quite know how you'll react after each blow. I'm fine until I come across a pregnancy leaflet (God knows why they hand out tips on breast feeding at your 8 week booking in appointment!!!!!! Grrrrr!).

Oracle - I know you're right about chemical pregnancies, stress and waiting to conceive - its just hard to believe. I'm not going to wait a month, even though logically I know its the psychologically best thing to do, but I would always wonder if that had been the month where the good egg got released, and I didn't give it a shot... twisted logic, which is destined to end in dissapointment I know, but I'm a sucker for "sucker punches"! Thank you for your sensible headed advice though - maybe once the pregnancy hormones have abated, I'll reread your post, and recognise your wise words. :)

On a side note - I'm going to be tested soon to find out what could be causing it. Do you need to abstain from being pregnant for any of the tests? I seem to remember in the haze of ERPC anaesthetic recovery being told they needed you to be pregnancy free for 6 weeks to check your clotting. Does this sound right?

2up2down, I'm very sorry to read that you've already been through so much this year. It seems a very good idea for you to go and have some tests done. They may be able to determine the cause and prevent you going through this for a forth time.

Have you had your progesterone tested? I believe that there is a test called the day 21 test that examines your level of progesterone on that day of your cycle to see if you are deficient - it is quite a common reason for miscarriage, if they discover it is that then they can give you progesterone before you are pregnant to ensure it sticks and matures. Lesley Regan says in her book that it must be taken before. There could be a number of other causes too, uterine structure (sometimes a small camera is needed to see if there is a septum there) fibroids, blood issues, immune issues, I think that it would really help to gain some reassurance from testing and speaking to professionals. It is a lot to keep putting yourself through.

Oracle, I used to think that the stress notion was a myth in miscarriage but I don't know. I think that for those who are susceptible to stress it really does not help the pregnancy. Yes, people do go through traumas to give birth and there are opposing points of view, for example, regarding those who miscarried and those who didn't after their spouses died in 9/11, (the male foetus is more vulnerable to m/c from what I have read) and there are people who give accounts of grief leading them to miscarry etc. Stress can have an effect on vitamin B6 regulation and progesterone and if there is already a defect in some people it certainly doesn't help the situation. I mentioned on another thread about the 'tender loving care' experiment Lesley Regan discusses in her book and the improvement in outcome (I can give page numbers to anyone who is interested). Alan Beer also discusses the negative effect of tension in his book too.

That has reminded me, there's an acupuncturist in London with a significant success rate that really did surprise me - even if you don't believe in the treatment, the results are there to see and one has to wonder, is it the acupuncture itself , the herbs or just the reassurance, care and attention that is helping her achieve success in her patients?

Some of the reasons for m/c are clear cut when tests are done and if the cause can be identified that's great but other things cannot be explained and so much more research is needed to help prevent the awful grief that many are experiencing.

I totally understand, I have had several mc's (stopped counting at 13) and an ectopic pregnancy. I wish I'd given myself a break. its so soul destroying to see a line, then that blotch of red. its certainly contributed to my depressive episodes.

wrt the stress, I know that some sources believe that stress is an issue, I just dont, and there is no definitive proof to the contrary. DS was conceived and carried during the most stressful period of my life. the truth is, many mc's occur just because they do, some occur because theres an underlying problem. If I had a penny for everytime people told me to "go on holiday, relax" I'd be very, very rich now. People have more sex when they are relaxed, and its sex that gets you pregnant (excluding AI conceptions) not massages/holidays/relaxation.

sorry, that reads much arsier than I intended it to its been a long six years day.

It is a stressful time when we are all going through mc and concerned about the causes, the future, I think we'll have to simply agree to disagree on that Oracle! Relaxing, having sex and getting pregnant goes well for some but it's the keeping it that is another thing, isn't it.

I was under an immense amount of emotional stress at the time and do think if it didn't cause it, that it did contribute to it as I could barely breathe I was so upset and could not sleep properly for days. I guess that I won't know any more about the cause until I go for testing.

Sorry you are having such a rubbish time, sorry we all are.