Found out at scan today the baby has died

[lurcherlover]

Heading says it all really...second pregnancy (have 18 month old DS who I am so so grateful for right now), planned and wanted...should be almost 14 weeks by dates and went for routine dating scan this morning. I have had no bleeding or pain, have had morning sickness, needed to start wearing maternity trousers a few weeks ago...so was feeling so excited about the scan, not worried at all. Then a few seconds in the monographer says she's so sorry, she can see the baby but no heartbeat. A second opinion confirmed it. Size-wise the baby was about 9 weeks so I have been carrying it dead inside me for almost 5 weeks with no mc symptoms at all. I'm in total shock and devastated. The hospital were lovely and explained the options and I have opted for ERPC, although there are no beds so I have to go tomorrow morning and hope they can fit me in, and potentially go back daily until there's a slot. Can anyone advise what I should do about work? I'm a secondary teacher and really stressed about being off but I know I need to give myself time to try and heal. If I have the procedure tomorrow, will I be ready for work on mon or am I being unrealistic? I don't want to start crying at work but at the same time the thought of being off with gcses and a levels imminent is almost as bad :-(

So so sorry lurcherlover, I had the same experience (but at about 12 and a half weeks) about 18 months ago and it is absolutely horrific. Also sorry that you are in limbo and having to go on "standby" for your EPRC sounds horrible, I'm really sorry and hope that they are able to fit you in soon so that you can at least get through that and focus on your emotional and physical recovery. I waited almost a week for my ERPC and found that in that time I was in limbo and did a lot of my grieving - I had originally planned to go back to work in the in between period, but am glad that I didn't - I felt like a bit of a fraud as I wasn't ill or in any pain but there's no way I could have focused on work. The doctor at the hospital told me to take at least a week off after the EPRC, I went back then but the GP would have easily given me another week if I had wanted it. I"m not a teacher or anything, but I had recently handed in my notice at work and had the bad scan just over a month before I was due to leave, so I did feel under pressure to get back and can sympathise with that. I bled for about 3 weeks after the op, which I believe is quite a long time compared to most others.

Hope the practical info helps and most of all hope that you are able to get your ERPC, to not stress about work and to take some time to look after yourself and take it easy

take care x