Any one had reoccurring mc, fancy a chat?

[tightwad]

So i do spend allot of time on here pondering the whys and where-fors of multiple mc, but i feel it helps me to make sense of it.
Folk i have spoken to on here offer such support and crucially understanding as they have been where i am.

Today i have an appointment with my occupational health dept at work. I am going to request some councelling as i think ive got allot of treacle to get through.
Ive kinda fallen into this routine of making myself get up, get dressed and set a goal for the day. I do the school run, and do something every day while off sick.
If i didnt do this, i would stay in my pjs, not wash, clean teeth or move from the sofa. I think ive got some depression.
Councelling is the way to go rather than ad's.
Im supposed to be back at work in a week, im dreading it, and feel overwhelmed by the thought of it.
Its high pressured, very intensive and challenging. There is also a girl there who is as pregnant as i should be now.
Not sure if staying off is healthy, not sure if going back will be healthy.
dunno, just dont know. My head is just mush at the moment.

What about you, what have you done in the same/similar situation?

Hi Tightwad (love the name)

Sorry for your losses

I have had 3 mc's now in the last year and I suffered with depression years before this happen and have been on meds for over 4 years this time round, yes there can be good counsellors but also some rubbish ones out there, I've had my share and don't bother now as my DP and friends are now my best counsellors. But I do think it is always a good thing to try as it can really help some people (hopefully it will work for you).

As for work, I rarely take days off and have only had 5 days (3 of which I was in hospital) off in total for all my mc's as find it better to get back to normal otherwise I would just wallow, which is never healthy, but again some people need the time off.

There will always be people who are pregnant and that will always suck!!

I don't think it is something we will ever get over but we do need to continue our lives and hopefully 1 day we will be the blessed ones.

xx

Hi purple.
Up til now i have always done what you describe, get back to work within a week of my mcs.
This has worked well because as you say,i prefer to get on with normal life.

This time, its different.
Having just had my 7th mc, i am not going to try again.
This is the end and i think therein lies my issues, bereavement of the lost pregnancies, the awful treatment i have endured, and the fact that i will never be pregnant, or have that longed for baby.

I cannot talk to anyone about it in rl, need to talk to someone, so councelling seems to be the way, going to give it a go. Might not suit me, but never had councelling before so we will see.

I dont know how you feel, but i just feel that everyone thinks im ok..i am as long as i dont think about it or talk about it....if i do, i break down like i have never cried in my life, like a tidal wave it engulfs me.
wus

Hi tightwad

It sounds like you're in a miserable place right now and I'm not surprised. I just cannot imagine how you've survived 7 mc. I've had 3 consecutively and feel knocked sideways by my last one, so heaven knows how you must feel.

In general I think carrying on with work is a good thing, but you do, in my obviously non-expert opinion, sound like you might be depressed.

Would it be better to try your GP than OH?

I'm very sorry for your many losses.

Thanks, for ur reply i really apprecaite that. my englisj is not my first language so excuse me for my spelling and broking words i will try my best.
I hard my daughter 2009 vie emergency c section as wasnt dilating more the 5cm i was in labour for 30hours.
After the c section a week later i came home went back to hospital for infection after my wound opened up and i have to stay in hospital to get check if i do need another operation but luckily i didnt and i stayed another week. I came home with anitibiotics and the nurse use to come to clean my wound, it took me three month for my wound to heal and close up completely. Since then i'm suffering with my scar been hurting like u said when something toughes muscles around my lower tummy. it doesnt hurt deep but out side tummy the flesh. i dont why but sometime i think is it because i sat long hours onxmy computer could it bee that. after one year and have not trying to get pregnant, and still fearfull of the bad exerience i hard. I start to think my be is my weight let me lose it and exercise. i was size 16 and go down to 8 can u imagen it tooke me 8month. at same time i was having weird period in the middle of my cycle and i was trying to get pregnant nothing happend. As before i fool pregnant with my daughter the first try and, i hard miscarrage before her as well just 3month. this time it was nearly a year and nothing. i ask my Gp why is my period going weird middle cycle and stuff,and they send scan and they said i have Asherman's adhesion on my basically scar in my uterus. I panic i want to get second opinion a doctor call Mr Lower i dont if u heard him gynecologys specailise with scaring and Asherman. any way he told me this scar is infection which cause by ur c section and if u really dont do it as soon as possible u mate left infertility for good. I said to my self ok may be the reason why my wound and scar didnt heal is because this thing i should do it as soon as possible for my own good. if i wait NHS it could take me to wait one year.and i cant wait one year, and i did the surgery which cost me £5,000 a lots money i have to borrow from friends. he checkt my fallopian tubes and they wher open, after the surgery i got pregnant with in two month and miscarreg after 6 weeks lukeliy i didnt have to have d&c or anything it was last year 2011 Sep, and i got Pregnant again jan 2012 start bleeding 5weeks went hospital my uterus serviks were close and they didnt know where the blood from at 6 weeks i pass cloths and a lots blood which make me believe i miscarrge the baby,but agian my serviks were close and theiris yolk sec and feats but no heart beat, they said we have to wait and see if anything changes 7week nothing change except something call hematoma i dont know if u ever heard this, the baby didnt grow from 6 weeks. i did still bleed through 8 weeks i hard enough this time. i want just everthing to end as i was suffering morning sickness aswell, i didnt want to wait any longer. at 8 weeks the sac is growing but not feats and their is no hope as this time we should see heart beat i just give up and said to ladie i dont want D&C, can u over me anthing else and she said Medical management i said ok, and miscarrieg next day i lose a lots blood and i end up hospital and everthing is gone except the hematoma which was as big three cm. another two weeks nothing come out just bleeding light dark blood sorry the detail.
at end i have to have D&C to remove that bit which didnt come out, the worse thing i want have was D&C which really cause scaring more, have no choice i have to,after D&C i bleed 10dys like period. after 34days my D&C i got my period it is lighter then before. i dont know if it because its like this after D&C or my scar come back. and i olso have pain around my scar c section. i dont know what to do next by the way i'm 27 i really want have at list three children and my dream of having tham is getting impossible. tell me ur advice and what should i. what do u think, many thanks

luul i think that you have written that whole long story on the wrong thread......sorry for your troubles, but i get the impression that you have been talking to some one about it all on another thread.....

You may want to transfer it as i doubt you will get any advice or replies on here x

Patsy i dont think i am depressed in a chemical kinda way, i think its more a reactional way.
Thats why i am resistant to take any medication, i do think (hope) that councelling will help me. GP will put me on an even longer waiting list for councelling, OT is 2 week wait thats all.

It is miserable, how can it be any other way after such trauma. I think its normal and natural to feel miserable.

What overwhelms me is how let down i feel by the reoccuring miscarrigae service. I guess i had so much hope in them, thier abilities, thier knowledge, expertise and the hope of help and treatment.
There was just none of the above. The fact that they have no answers, no money for research, as a result, they have little knowledge of a fucking awful and life changing condition.
Thats just a very small part of how i feel about the whole horrific thing.

Again, thanks for talking to me ladies, i really appreciate your kindness.

Hi Tightwad

Even though I have not had as many as you I can understand why you want to give up, even after 3 I don't want to go through this heartache anymore and I have already considered it. But I will continue for a bit longer and hope.

So sorry that the experiences you have had, have been so dreadful for you. There really is something missing out there when it comes to mc's, I have had 1 specialist who decided he wasn't even going to take bloods as I was young and had no problem getting pregnant????? and now I am waiting to see someone else and just hope they are more compassionate at least!

Are you going to consider adoption or fostering?

I really do hope the counselling does work for you, it certainly won't hurt to try.

If you want to pm me anytime u can.

Wish u all the luck in the future.
xxx