Today is my due date

[FloydieDoydie]

Today is my due date and I'm so very sad. I was so happy to be pregnant and to lose it at 11 weeks crippled me.

My DP didn't want to try again until I was "over it", but I got pregnant again anyway and that really helped. Until I lost that one as well (that was due 22 Novemeber 2012 so I have a second "due date" to be sad about later this year).

DP won't try again now. He already has a daughter from a previous relationship. he says that these losses are too much for him to bear so he never wants to try again. I'm nearly 33 - is this it? If I stay with him (which I want to), have I then made the decision that I won't get to have a baby? Will I have to spend my life helping him to bring up his daughter (who I love very much), but always knowing she's not mine.

I have nothing.

He doesn't even remember its today and I can't talk to him about it as he will just say I am upsetting myself.

We were in town yesterday and I saw so many babies and pregnant women, and all I could think about is "why them? Why do they get to have their baby and I don't? What did I do to deserve this?".

I'm just feeling so so sad.

I'm so so sorry for your losses. You must be feeling very sad, is there anyone you could go and see? A friend or family member? You need to look after yourself today, can you have a long bath? Chocolate? Something small, I know it won't make you feel better, but it's a start.

We all deal with grief differently, but your partner needs to understand your grief. Can you speak to him?

I'm so sorry, and the due date is so hard. Doubly hard as you have another to deal with later in the year.

Your grief is still fresh, and so is your DP's, so don't make any rash decisions yet. But your DP needs to understand your desire to have a child, even if you have to face heartache to get there. You may have to suggest councelling, either seperately or together, to decide how you are going to move on from this. But take some time to let yourself recover first.

Take care.

Dear Floydie, I am so sorry to hear of both your losses and of the heartening situation you are in. Take time to care for yourself today and do what you need to mark this occasion. I am going through MC process at the moment and have due date late Nov imprinted on mind. I do, however, already have 2dcs and know I am very very lucky.

Have you had any info on why you may have miscarried twice? There are many fabulous women on here who have gone on to have successful pregnancies after several MCs.

You are still very young and have many child bearing years ahead of you. I am 38.5 and still want to give it another go. Perhaps when you and DP are feeling less raw you should discuss this again and say how much this means to you. You have both gone through a lot and need to let yourselves heal first. Be kind to yourselves.

Big hug xx

Thank you all for your lovely words. I've eaten chocolate cake, cuddled up in a duvet in the sofa and had a bit of a sob.

DP was out most of the day, but as I said, he had no idea what day today was.

I'm feeling less upset right now, and I know it will get easier again in a few days. Who knows what will happen in the future.

the due date is always the hard day :( , we found it extreemly hard last yeer at my due date as i was pregnant again by only a few weeks , so i had all the worries of what if it happens again , it is now a year on from our sons due date (well it will be on thursday) were going to the baby gardens to set of a baloon for him and lay flowers, me and my fiance have decided that the best way to cope with the due date in future is to make it into a positive date so we have decided that that date will be the date we get married on ,. the resentment of others fades but doesnt totaly go away... when i lost my son at 21 weeks my brother (at the time) fiancee was pregnant with my neice , i was fine with my brother but kind of resentent her for a while thinkin why me n not you ( i now feel so cruel to think that as i love my neice to bits )... she made my resent for her so much worse when she split up with my brother as little as a week after our loss and very cruely mooved out of his flat the day we were at the babys funeral , my neice was born 10 weeks after i shud have been due and instantly all resent was gone and i felt happyish,. i think you should try and talk to your OH as its not good too keep things in for him as mmuch as you ... even sudgest counciling to him it could realy help ... my fiance finds it hard sometime and hell go off and lisn to some music that reminds him of the baby like by the lyrics ect , evrybody has a different way of coping i supose ..... hope ive hellped x