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Thought had got through NMC but then had A and E nightmare- utterly surreal

21 replies

ej23 · 07/05/2012 00:52

Have been having natural MC at home and been getting lots of wonderful support here on MN ('Waiting for natural miscarriage' thread) from wonderful ladies all going through horrid times.

Thought was doing well and over the worst but started to lose blood heavily about 5 pm. Had lost what i thought was pregnancy sac on Fri night so knew something wasn't right and had also been warned by other MNetter to watch out for heavy loss and feeling faint. DP rang some friends to come and get are DCs. Awful as hadn't even told anyone I was pregnant! Put nappy in pants and sat on towel in car and raced to A and E.

By the time we got there my trousers and the towel were saturated and I could feel that I had passed something sizable into the nappy. Sat bawling, dripping with blood in public waiting area waiting to be seen. ( Bloody Bank Hol weekend!) DP gave my details in at desk and we were eventually taken to a private room by woman (nurse?) who seemed oblivious to the state I was in. I desperately wanted to empty contents of my pants and be looked at as was still pouring blood and felt very traumatized but instead she was more interested in checking my address and DOB again.She then asked me to go to go to loo in public waiting area to do a urine sample.

Dripping blood, for all to see, I went to loo and found something the size of a baby rabbit in nappy. (lLater learnt that this was just a gigantic blood clot.)Tried to wee into paper bowl but basically just passed more blood and another clot into it. My DP stuck head out of loo to ask what next. Unbelievably the dippy woman had left us and gone off shift! I was swaying by this point ready to pass out. Eventually a lovely nurse took control and got me into a patient room with a bed and hooked me up to a drip. She took some bloods to be checked for Hb levels and said a dr would be with me soon. I thought best to point out that we had left public loo like a crime scene with god knows what in a nappy on the floor.

Lovely young f Dr arrived and examined me. She said she could see that I had something stuck in the entrance of my cervix which she would try and remove manually.( I had already said how much I did not want a D and C.) This was v painful and caused to me start gagging. Thankfully it came out and it seems this was the main pregnancy product so god knows what I lost the other night.

Dr went to get her Registrar for advice on next move etc. She came back in with male Registrar. His comments floored me. Now, I understand that somebody who is not English may sound abrupt when they do not intend to. He basically said, '' So.. you have come here because you are losing a lot of blood. You have chosen to have a natural MC when you were given other options. This is what happens - you lose alot of blood.'' I felt utterly patronized. Options of oral medication and theater discussed again. I did not want this and said so.

Nurse came back in to take bloods again as others had coagulated in tube as not processed quick enough. Great. She said she had 'never known a hospital like it' and 'was going to complain'.

I then had ultrasound with Dr and registrar. (Not possible to have internal scan till Tues). Registrar said looked pretty clear but there was a slight 'grey area' at one side which could be womb lining still to come away. Again talks of tablets and theater. My reasoning to wait was that now the cervix was unblocked and still 4cm dilated I would like to hang on as may lose more naturally. He clearly thought I was unhinged but said it was my choice. He insisted on waiting for blood results which fortunately came back fine= Hb of 12. Blood loss had slowed down and I chose to leave on the promise i would return if heavy loss again.

I understand I have taken a risk but in any case I feel v weak and not up to being induced into labour state. I will go to EPU on Tues and have internal scan and take it from there.

(Sorry for epic post) x

OP posts:
PullUpAPew · 07/05/2012 08:59

Goodness, you poor thing. That sounds very scary and traumatic. I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't have any medical experience of MC so can't really interpret why the Reg said what he did but I have experience of being treated similarly by drs and it is not right. You should not be spoken to unkindly even if a doctor thinks you are making the wrong medical choices.

I wish you a peaceful recovery from here x

ej23 · 07/05/2012 09:14

Thank you PullUpAPew. Am glad to be back at home at home and just hope this is all over soon x

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Mushka21 · 07/05/2012 10:11

You poor lady! I can't even begin to imagine the trauma you've just gone through!! I feel sick at the thoughts of what I've experienced just sitting on the toilet and hearing and seeing what's being lost. I'm currently in limbo between bleeding, nurse at EPAC having said mc is highly likely, and waiting to do another test to see if I'm still pregnant.

I hope this is the end if it for you now and wish you a speedy recover from here on in xxx hugs

SoupDragon · 07/05/2012 10:18

You poor thing.

I think you should make a complaint to the hospital TBH. Clearly they need more training in bedside manner.

Imnotaslimjim · 07/05/2012 10:19

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this, it sounds incredibly traumatic

Have you considered lodging a complaint yourself? Even if its just a request to change how MC woman are dealt with? He should have been much more sensitive to you, and should never have hinted that it was your fault

Yes, having a NMC can result in a big, heavy loss, but that doesn't mean that you have to use other methods just to make sure you prevent that. You did what you felt was right for you

I hope you start feeling better soon. And once you're a bit stronger, consider getting in touch with PALS and see what they have to say about it xxx

Iheartpasties · 07/05/2012 10:19

Bless you, you sound very strong and I hope you feel better soon. I just feel upset for you, it sounded like an awful thing to go through (the way you were treated at hospital). Stay strong my lovely. x

Goofymum · 07/05/2012 11:00

OMG ej, I cannot believe this actually happened to you, you seemed to be over the worst. I was the one who advised you to go to A&E if it seemed to be getting worse. I had a similar experience and left it far to late which is why I advised you to keep an eye on the blood loss. You did the right thing but your A&E dept sounds atrocious and def worthy of complaint.
My A&E treated me seriously right from the start, even thought I could hear them discussing it was 'just' blood loss from a MC. But because they monitored me right from the start, not leaving me to suffer in a hospital toilet like you, they could see what I was losing (they kept the blood and clots in bowls, boak). They took my blood regularly and when they saw that my first count was 8.1 and my second was 6.9 (they even had a machine in their department so it was really quick) they treated me even more seriously. I had that painful internal but everyone treated me with so much respect and dignity, it was amazing in comparison to yours. Eventually I was whipped up to theatre and given 4 units of blood and a D&C so mine has resolved completely now. If you feel up to it then complain, but concentrate on getting your strength back first. You poor poor thing. I never quite got around to thanking my hospital but I wanted to let them know that they made me and my family feel safe. It sounds like you had the complete opposite Angry

ej23 · 07/05/2012 15:40

Thank you all for your support and yes I do feel a complaint is on the cards.

Hope you are ok Mushka and taking care at this difficult time. Will keep my fingers crossed for you. xx

Hi Goofymum and yes i couldn't believe it either! Am pleased you had decent care with no fannying about. Had thought I was doing so well. It seems the pregnancy sac had just got stuck on it's way out and lodged in cervix. I had the labour type pains on fri night but must have just lost a massive clot and not the sac as i thought. The Dr said blood will have built up behind blockage till it eventually started seeping around it, resulting in big blood and clot loss yesterday.

Am just thankful i did not have to go back in yesterday. Could not have beared to see same sodding Registrar again with 'told you so look' on his face.

It may be that I have to admit defeat in the end and have MM or surgery but I just wanted to give nature a bit more time as my hb and bp were fine and blood loss had slowed down. The internal scan at EPU will indicate to me what to do next I hope - not the thought of a man who clearly thinks all women in my situation should just form an orderly queue for a d and c.

Sorry - rant over x

OP posts:
PullUpAPew · 08/05/2012 14:35

Hi ej, was wondering how you have been getting on since your A&E ordeal, hope all has gone calmly since then.

ej23 · 08/05/2012 16:51

Went to EPU this morning as advised by A&E to have scan. The internal scan showed that I do still have tissue/lining/ to come away. We then had chat with head midwife who said that this was to be expected in the time frame and would not have expected me to be clear yet. She said had we rung up first she would have advised us to leave it to next week but appreciated we had come because we'd been advised to by Dr.

She had not received a report yet from A and E so I felt compelled to tell her of our 'Fawlty Towers' experience. She listened and rolled her eyes and said she would look into it and see which staff had been on. She said it was typical that most Drs just want to get you into theatre and that i had been right with my decision. I said what the Registrar had said to me, adding that I appreciate it may just be a language barrier, (though knowing it bloody wasn't). She knew who I meant as asked if I had seen the Polish Registrar. She was not surprised and spoke of her despair in the system.

I know this is not a formal complaint but I feel better for speaking up. I am also feeling a lot more reassured from her comments and know I will sleep better tonight. :)

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PullUpAPew · 09/05/2012 07:53

Hi, really pleased to hear that you have had much better care this time. I hope you did sleep better.

All the best for your recovery and once again just want to say I'm sorry for your loss.

ej23 · 09/05/2012 10:13

Thank you PullUpAPew and yes I slept better.

Everyone on here has been so kind and supportive and it has helped me a lot xx

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harrietlichman · 09/05/2012 14:34

Hi ej - just caught up with what happened to you since we last messaged - sounds absolutley horrific, I am so sorry this happened, it shouldn't happen to anyone. If you can, it might be worth you putting in a formal complaint. Hope you are feeling a bit better now - remember to take each day as it comes xx

WhatDreamsMayCome · 09/05/2012 18:09

ej, what an awful time you've had, I agree with harriet about putting in a formal complaint, there is no reason for the registrar to have spoken to you in such an insensitive manner - a lack of empathy is a worrying trait for someone who should have know better. I hope that you can get some rest now and I am sorry for your loss.

ej23 · 12/05/2012 19:00

Hi harriet and whatdreams and thank you for your support and hope you are both ok. Think i will put in a complaint when all this is over. Feeling better than a few days ago and blood loss petering out. Not sure if that's a good thing or not as still have stuff (lining?) to pass according to Tuesday's scan. Wondering what next scan on Tues will say.

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ej23 · 18/05/2012 23:34

Had another scan this week and still not completely clear though not bad enough to warrant any surgery which was a relief. Had some swabs taken to check for infection and had phone call today to say I have 'Strep B'. Have been prescribed antibiotics for a week.

Wondering how long I have had 'Strep B' and if this could have caused me to MC. ???

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 18/05/2012 23:39

What a horrendous experience- so sorry you had to go through this Sad

I've never had this, but I would have thought you should have been treated with kindness and empathy. I think you should definitely put in a complaint. I think too many people just wnat to forget about it, and to make a complaint seems like an added hassle, but these things need to be brought to people's attention. It's not acceptable and I am Sad and Angry on your behalf.

ej23 · 18/05/2012 23:59

Thank you, and yes you are right about the complaint. I will do it when am feeling 100%- hopefully won't be long.

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maples · 19/05/2012 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bugsylugs · 19/05/2012 02:58

Ej23 so sorry for your loss and really Shock at your treatment. Unfortunately I have had several MMC and have gone for nature every time yes bleeding can be heavy more likely if something gets stuck in the cervix. As I understand it medical management is often heavier and more painful due to being quicker but no experience. Op has risks associated with it so think the reg is plain wrong. For your info with acute blood loss the Hb may not reduce as you are haemoconcentrated. They should check your u and e's as urea increases early before decrease in hb and then repeat Hb later to be on safe side. You could also query this in complaint. At my trust if you have started bleeding they are unseen for op.
Take care

PullUpAPew · 19/05/2012 08:32

Hi Ej so sorry all is not yet clear. Hopefully the antibiotics will sort things out.

I think you should speak to your GP about Strep B, it can affect pregnancies I think but I have no knowledge of how or at what stages.

I am so sorry you have all this to go through, it's a hard time. Take care and get well soon.

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