Feel like my heart has been ripped out. Thought i was doing ok till now.

[tightwad]

Purposefully avoiding fb.
But just looked on and a girl i work with has put her scan picture up. She is due the same day i was due.

Its made me so so s.a.d. I honestly feel like my guts have been kicked.

fucking hell. Im used to this, this is every day life for me, so why do i feel so bad?

Ow ow ow sorry sweetheart :-( I don't know what else to say . I'm ill equipped myself .have a sneaky hug x

ta chuck x

Sorry for your loss.

I lost a baby at 11 weeks - found out at a scan after a small bleed and feeling really good after being so sick. It was just so awful for so long.

I couldn't work out why I couldn't get over it - get on with my life. Then someone told me I wouldn't get over it - it was daft to try, I had to accept that a bit of me would always be a bit of me that would be sad. And that allowed me to find peace with it.

It is OK to be sad and angry and all those things. But you won't feel this wretched forever.

Tightwad - it is very hard to deal with a loss,And you have to get through 1 day at a time. I have good days and bad and I gave gotten use to the fact that my emotions are going to hit me when I don't expect it!
Surrounded by pregnant women at work I dread to see them!
It's awful but it's real!!!!!!!!!! I have had 3 losses and last year and a year to the date in which I went for another routine scan and was told it was another ectopic and I needed a op to remove my tube!!!
I never had the chance to think as I got prepped for surgery!
Im thankful I have the joy of having a child but it doesn't take the sting out of much wanted child that will never be!!!! More dates to remember and try to avoid!!!!!
1 day at a time I say, and if u made it through the day without crying you have made progress! Good luck and look forwards to the healing and a good future!!!!!

Thanks so much for your kind and wise words. You are right i know.

xx

hey tight, I feel your pain and am glad you posted. I mc'ed a week ago (though had known pregnancy buggered for three weeks by then) just went to a wedding where their pregnancy was announced via a scan pic on a projector screen. I honestly thought I was healing but that just blew the lid off everything and i know now I have a long way to go yet. A FB announcement this morning which was grumpy and whiny about being pg has completely ruined my day (both pregnancies are due two weeks before mine would have been).

It is interesting wonderstuff that you say we will learn to live with it. I wish I could even just be calm. Instead in am still, apparently, raging even though i seem to be ok (even to myself). this is a tougher journey than I could ever have imagined.

take care of yourself tight and do not underestimate the intensity of this, but know that you are in company and nothing you feel is weird :) x

take evryday as it comes hun , youl have good days and youl have days you just want to curl up and cry, dont try and hide your feelings if you need to cry cry ... people say time is a healer but its not , the pain will always be with you ... my baby angel grew his wings at 21 weeks pregnant on new years day last year i gave birth to him the folowing day , and to bein with i thot i have to be strong for my daughters sake , so id go out with her to the shops or whatever and for bout a month i had to go home in tear after about 10 mins of being out, if i so much as say a baby bump or a newborn boy id just burst... we decided we wanted to ttc while evrything that caused him to pass was still fresh in our minds as there was alot wrong and we didnt want to give ourself years to heal and kindo of forget as id have to go throu many tests ect , we fell pregnant with our 2nd daugter only 5 months after his loss , their was days i was fine i was happy watchin our eldest blossom and my new bump grow then thr was other days id just cling on to our angels teddys n blaky n cry my heart out id hug my bump so thight petrified of the same hapening again , an even now the baby is 4 months old i stil have days where i weep , but i find it help me to keep our angels memory alive by teling our nearly 3 year old that wele go to see our angel soon and give hiim flowers and she always talks about him i feel it helps lots to have other kids around me now ... it will be a year ago he should have been due this thursday so am going throo a down period again ....... as i said if your feeling down let it all out .. dont keep it in as it can lead to depresion ..... keep your head held as high as posible and people will understand if you need a shoulder ,, hope ive helped ... sorry for the essay i feel i had to get things off my chest aswell there x

It's so hard the days after a loss I have had more than my fair share and it really does get easier. The sadness never goes away but you learn to pack it in a little box in your mind and shed a tear now and again but you move on...it's always going to be hard to hear of pregnancy announcements and women moaning about being preg (I find it hard to hold the comments back) but it gets easier to ignore...

So sorry for your loss

Hi Tightwad,

I second the advice angelkalibsmummy gave. Don't bottle it up, let it out and allow yourself to be honest about how you feel. My DD is 8 and I have lost 7 angels since then. Nothing will ever make up for how low it makes me feel or the huge hole in my heart. But I have faced up to it and dealt with it and over time you will too. My SIL has a baby due the same day as one of mine, she is 4 now, but I still choke up when I see her. Some folk just don't understand and now I am pg again people are telling me things like "well it just goes to show all that stuff you went through was worth it" hmmmm. Have had lots of crying days dealing with how guilty I feel that it must be something I did that made all this happen. I steered clear of MN for 6 years as I could not handle seeing stuff about people's new joy. I have ended up blocking newsfeed from people on fb too as an act of self preservation. Allow yourself to take each day as it comes. Sometimes the most unexpected thing can pop uo and make you feel like shit, but you will be fine. Just give it time xx

I feel for you.

Both my SILs are pregnant, and while I am excited about the babies arriving I can't help feeling super jealous at the same time.

My friend was also pregnant at the same time as me so I often think her baby would be doing the same as mine etc...

You will be happy for your friend but it doesn't have to stop you grieving for your loss.

Good luck in the future :)