waiting for natural miscarriage

[ej23]

Hi there, not having great time and thought I'd share my experience as have found it useful to read other posts. Am 10 weeks pregnant and noticed some blood when I went to the loo at 8pm last night. I called the hospital and was advised to call the EPU this morning but if I started to experience heavy blood loss I should go to A and E. Just spotted throughout night ( red in colour) and on waking this morning still the same ( but now brown). Called the EPU and was told I would have to wait till tomorrow as no appointment! Requested to been seen asap and eventually got my way. Had scan but this was not clear enough so had internal scan and unfortunately it appears the embryo stopped developing at about 6 weeks. I was told that there does not seem to be any particular reason why this has happened, unfortunately just one of those things. I was then given 3 options:- to let nature take it's course at home, have hormone medication treatment which will start things going, or have an anesthetic and surgical procedure ( D and C?). I have opted to go it naturally. I gave birth to my DD (6yrs) and my DS (4yrs) both at home and so a MC in the comfort of my own home seems the best for me. I have been advised to keep in touch with EPU when blood flow gets heavier and will have another scan when stop bleeding to check all clear. Feeling in limbo at the minute and just want it to be over.

Aw ej23 sorry to hear your story. Am glad you are able to have you mc at home - I had to have it in hospital (the tablets) because I was nowhere near starting my mc (had been waiting 3 weeks already) though actually it was a really positive experience (despite being a homebirther too!).

Hope you are ok - have you read the tips thread, it is marvellous.

keep posting if you need to and good luck x

Thank you and sorry for your loss but am pleased you had positive experience in hospital. Have just found and read tips thread after your advice - really useful and informative so thank you for that. x

So sorry for your losses. ej I just wanted to offer my sympathies - I know what it's like to go the natural route and be in limbo waiting for it all to be over. My epu was really supportive, I had a few scans and each time they gave me the choices, but like you, I decided the comfort of my own home was best for me.
I'm sure you know what I mean when I say I hope it goes smoothly and is over soon. x

Hi ej. So sorry to hear this - I have just been through exactly the same thing (you will probably find one of the many threads I have been on over the last few weeks!) I was desperate to not have medical management and finally started to physically mc on Monday. It is all over now, and I was so relieved it had happened naturally at home. It hasn't been an easy time and I relied heavily on Mumsnet throughout, and got some really valuable help and support on here from some fabulous women, all of who were going through their own shitty times. Hope it goes as well as can be expected for you - remember we are here when things get to you, and someone is always ready to lend a sympathetic ear or virtual hand hold. Take it easy xxx

Hi edwardc. and harriet Thank you so much for your kind words and shared experiences. Am finding Mumsnet a bit of a lifeline now which is nice. Have loving DP who has done school run, ballet run, and dinner tonight so have great support. Also nice to hear from other women who have gone through/going through same thing.

Cramps have started so am just currently sitting it out with hot water bottle. x

Thought last night would be the big event when cramps started but still just spotting. Have rung in work with 'tummy bug' as not told boss was pregnant yet.
I only work 2 days so hate taking time off. Really hate this waiting game.

It was a few days of bleeding before it started properly for me - make sure you have pain killers and hot water bottles - they helped for me. Hopefully it won't be too dragged out for you - put a film on/get into a good book and try and relax if you can. x

Good advice. Can't remember last time I made time to read a good book x

ej23 I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It's such a horrible, sad thing to go through.

I was told by my EPU I was having an inevitable miscarriage ten days ago at 7 weeks (they think the baby stopped developing at 6 weeks). Today it was confirmed that everything was over.

I also chose to miscarry at home.

The last ten days have been a complete roller-coaster of emotions but physically the process wasn't too awful. For me it was like having the heaviest day of my period for about 5 days rather than just one, I had painful cramps (but didn't need anything more than a few painkillers) and had less clots than I expected. The pregnancy sac passed in a big gush but it wasn't painful, but I found it very emotionally shocking and spent a few minutes shaking and sobbing on the toilet.

I found one of the hardest times was the point you are at now - when you just don't know what your experience is going to be like and how painful it will be. Once my bleeding had really kicked in and it became clear after a few days that I was going to have a slow and steady miscarriage, rather than anything dramatic, I started to relax.

The things that helped me over the past ten days were..

Doing as little as possible - I spent hours sat on the sofa under my duvet watching rubbish t.v. and let DP look after DD and the household stuff. DP took a week off work and that really helped. I tried to read but I just couldn't concentrate. Flitting around the internet was about all I could manage.

Welcoming my cramps - it is probably a bit hippy-dippy but I really tried to be pleased when I was cramping and look on it as a sign my womb was working well and doing what it needed to do. Something happening - even if it was painful - was better than that awful limbo period.

Reading some miscarriage poetry - it made me weep but really helped.

Telling DD I was poorly with a bad stomach bug - it explained why I wasn't doing the school run etc and kept making trips to the toilet.

Taking time to have a good cry with DP.

Sorry this has turned into a rather epic post - once I started typing I got carried away. Please take good care of yourself at this difficult time.

Don'tforget I am so sorry for your last 10 days and hope you can now begin your healing process. Your experience is sounding v similar. I have not moved far from sofa and duvet and have done lots of 'flitting' too online. I think the distraction helps.

Am also finding it reminiscent of when my children were born - the waiting, thinking every twinge might be the start of it and wondering how painful it will be. All of this but without the lovely bundle at the end.

Cramps feeling quite strong at the minute. Time for nurofen and a hot water bottle i think.

I have also been through this over the last week and my thoughts are with you. MN has been a fab source of comfort and advice. xx

Thanks Goofymum and am so sorry that you too have gone through this horrid, crappy, ordeal. You're right about MN - it has been a great support.

Well, as I got off sofa last night, to get painkillers, I was hit with a strong growing contraction and knew instinctively this was it. Doubled over I shouted for DP ( praying kids would not wake up) and started hobbling to bathroom.

I then experienced one big gush (the sac i guess) into the loo which was all very alarming and upsetting. Freaked out i asked DP to 'have a look' to confirm 'that was it' and he was pretty sure it was. (Sorry tmi!) Had a good old sob on the loo for a few minute and was surprised that I was still having painful contractions. Had some painkillers and then we just cuddled on sofa. The contractions were more painful then I thought they'd be and seemed to go on for ages. At some point we passed out and woke up on sofa at 1.30 am.

Feeling low and pretty empty this morning and keep finding myself staring into space. Totally normal I know. Feel bad on kids as they are their usual playful, loud selves and I have no energy to play.

Rang EPU to update but of course closed and no one there till Tuesday as Bank Hol. Am hoping the heavy period type bleed I'm having now will have stopped by then so i can ring and arrange scan. Fingers crossed it will be all clear.

On a positive note the sun is shining and i think the worst bit is over. I feel lucky in that the process has been quick and straightforward for me compared to some of the other experiences I have read on here. Although I felt 'in limbo ' for ages, it could have been a lot worse. In just over 48 hrs I had seen first bleed, had scan and lost pregnancy sac.

Have found this very therapeutic but had better stop rambling now i think. All will be fine.

Oh you poor thing ej23. I hope you are through the worst bit and that you can just rest now.

We are here if you need to talk.

If you feel as though something is not right then don't hesitate to contact your hospital - usually there is a 24hour emergency gynae service operating outside of EPU hours but if not then go to A&E instead. eg. if the bleeding carries on so heavily that you cannot stand without feeling faint. Hope not.

Big hugs xx

Hi Goofymum, have just read about your horrific ordeal on emergency d and c thread. So v sorry. You poor thing, you have totally been through the mill. I hope you are feeling a little stronger today. I see now why you say to keep an eye on blood loss- I will!

Have read about people taking PG tests to check on hormone levels. Is this a way of finding out if you are 'cleared out' yet? Am wondering should I do one.

x

The problem is those home urine tests are not very accurate. Whatever the test said you still wouldn't be any the wiser at this stage of the MC. So, I would just call the EPU on Tuesday and let them advise you.

If your bleeding has really calmed down and you're not cramping anymore by Tuesday you should be OK. They may not even need to do a scan if you have stopped bleeding - I never did with my 1st MC (also at 10 weeks preg) because bleeding stopped naturally and they were happy that everything was out. x

Yeah, you're right - no point in faffing with home tests. Will only do own head in anyway. Body has done it's job so far so I just need to rest and be patient now.
Thanks for the advice x

Hi ej - I have been thinking about you, hope you are ok. It sounds like that was it and you are likely to have some residual bleeding for the next few days. Mine happened on Tuesday and the bleeding was quite heavy at first but has really slowed down alot now - I wll be so pleased when it finishes. I know what you mean abou that empty feeling, and like you I felt bad - was just leaving my ds's to 'get on with it' as had no energy and couldn't bring myself to do anything. It was another mumsnetter who told me not to be so hard on myself, and not to worry about my kids for a day or two. It was great advice and a few days on, I am starting to feel much more positive and 'myself' again.

Do take care of yourself - get as much rest as you need now - you will be pretty tired for a day or two. The worst is over, and it things will get better from here. xxx

Hi harriet and thanks for the words of comfort. Am so pleased you are starting to feel more like you and it shows there is light at the end of the tunnel for me too.

Am currently in wounded animal phase I think and not ready for public consumption. Had bath and emptied the washing machine and felt like I'd done a workout! Had thought might venture out with DP and DCs for some fresh air but have retreated instead back to bed with curtains closed. All part of it I suppose xx

It is and you need to do what feels right - after a few days I had to force myself out though, as I realised I was spending a bit too much time alone and dwelling on things - I felt so much better for going out for a walk and popping round the shops. Give yourself a few days and then try and get out if you can - take care xx

Hi, Not sure if this thread is still active but wanted to feel like I am not alone. For 2 weeks I have been having blood tests as having pains. HCG levels going up but not enough. Was called on monday and told pregnancy not viable. Went for scan tuesday (which was so awful sitting with all the excited couples waving their scan pictures around). There was a sac in the womb but also something on ovary. 4 hours later and more blood tests was told I was being admitted for emergency laproscopy as it could be ectopic. The surgeon went home so it was 12 hours later I found out I was still officially pregnant as they had only removed a cyst. They sent me home to await a miscarriage. Being monitored as they may have to interevne if HCG still rising. Feel in most awful state of purgatory. My body still acting pregnant. It was reassuring to know what it might feel like. It just feels like a very strange thing to have to do, to wait for this to happen.
Thinking of all of you who have posted here

Hi Rebecca and sorry to see you on this thread having crappy time. This waiting period you are in is really difficult and you just have to take it easy and do what's right for you. I found posting on MN really helpful and received lots of great support and advice. I found the 'tips' thread really informative and helped me to feel more prepared for the days ahead.

Get under the duvet with rubbish telly, mags, chocolate, laptop and hot water bottle. Don't hesitate to call your EPU and 24hr service if you're worried. Take care and remember that there is always someone here to listen and support you through this rubbish time.

Take care of yourself x

Thanks ej23. It is a lonely business this so good to know others understand.
x