how to manage the hospital bit of MM

[soveryfedup]

Hello ladies,

Having hung around these parts for three odd weeks I am finally facing my mc. I am having medical management, I took the tablet today and am in hospital for the pessaries on Friday...

They have been great explaining everything, but I wonder if anyone can help me manage my fears by being as best prepared as I can be. I don't know anything really, like shall I take loads of pairs of knickers, and will I wear pjs (even though only in for a day)? Will i likely bleed everywhere, and if I am on a bed in a ward (I will be) how will I change my pads to keep up with the bleeding ok? Will I probably spend all my time in the loo? Will I have to walk around holding a pan full of my 'products' after the loo? :( I am so worried about being unprepared and just bleeding all over the ward and grossing out the old ladies :(

Also, should I get DH to stay with me or would i better off dealing with it alone - i don't want to frighten him... or waste his time if I am just reading the paper...

please feel free to tell me not to be so thick and to go away, I am aware I am being thick but I have never been in hospital and am reet scared of it all.

thanks peeps.

HI, first of all let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I didn't have MM with my MC but I'm hoping that perhaps I can give you a few tips to help you on your way.

My MC happened very fast, within 10-20 minutes, and my clothes were soaked through with blood before I could get to the toilet. I realised that whenever I got severe cramps I passed large amounts of blood and clots so I would say whenever you get these to go to the toilet and sit there.

It's surprising how your mood sinks when you lose all this blood and clots. You may feel better if you have someone with you whether it be your DH or someone else close to you who you can share all this with.

Finally I would say my top tips would be to take:
Plenty of knickers and some spare clothes (if only for peace of mind)
Plenty of pads
Wipes for freshness
Magazines, book
Ipod (if only to block out background noises)
Mobile phone
and that loved one to give you support.

I'm sorry I couldn't provide you with personal experience. Please feel free to keep posting. The women here are very helpful. Take care. xx

thanks lynz you are kind and helpful :)

I've had MM twice. You'll likely be in a separate side room or at least curtained off from the main ward so should have some privacy. For 1/2 hour after the pessaries they ask you to lie down but after that you're free to move around. You should put a pad on as soon as you start bleeding, you will then soon learn 'the feel' for when you pass bigger bits (tissue, clots etc) so will have time to nip off to the loo to sit on the toilet or you can ask for a bedpan - you'll need to wee into a pan and show them any pads so that they can see what has come out. Just wear whatever you're comfortable in (I wore leggings and a cardi), they may offer you a gown to wear. Take lots of entertainment, spare knickers and ipod/ear plugs to block out the hospital. I refused my OH's offer to accompany me as felt I was better on my own but that depends on how you feel. And lastly, be prepared for the chance that it may not work, it doesn't for everyone, and get them to tell you exactly when you can go home.

thanks muddy! i am on a ward but they said they will put me at the end and that it is always quite quiet on a friday. Was NOT quiet when I went in yesterday and stank of yucky food (damned pregnant-not-pregnant nose).

My mp3 player broke :( But have lots of reading material. Will have DH to start with I reckon then tell him to go away when I have got my bearings.

thanks for the info about 'feeling' when I might pass the bigger bits, that is reassuring.

Does anyone know if you 'have' to do this if nothing happens naturally? I am in the limbo state too but am terrified of medical management, I am also really frightened of the GA needed for an ERPC. What would happen if you just did nothing? Would it come out eventually or is that dangerous?

So sorry soveryfedup - it's so shit that we are all on these threads, when we should be on the other, much happier ones. xx

We will be soon harriet.

I really wanted to wait... it was very important to me that I have this mc in private at home (DS was a home birth, I hate unnecessary medical intervention), but after three scans starting at 6 weeks pg till 10 weeks a healthy robust placenta looked like it was unlikely to shift any time soon so I was recommended the MM or ERPC. I was told I could wait until 11 weeks then would have to have it and I had had no spotting to speak of so was clear my body wasn't going to give up this 'pg' any time soon! they were worried about any dead tissue starting to degrade and get infected, and I was sick of waiting - it's been three weeks now and am a walking ghost person, daren't do anything for fear of mc, can't laugh, can't socialise, and am completely knackered from being mc lady :(

You sound like you are starting so am sure they are happy to wait and see for now, unless they get worried about infection if you are walking about day after day with an open cervix? But ultimately your body is your body and any decision is yours to make.

Wouldn't have an ERPC as am loathe to have surgery. Would fight anyone who tried to put me under! hehe.

You don't 'have' to do anything but it may be medically advised you do certain things to avoid infection etc if you don't miscarry naturally. My personal advice would be to (a) demand you get to talk to a senior doctor (registrar or consultant) who will be more likely to know their stuff rather than just follow protocol, and (b) always, always, always ask about your options. I went through a lot of unnecessary stuff with my MCs, purely because I didn't ask more questions.

muddy is most wise harriet.

I would never follow advices just because they came from a dr, and you should not feel pressured likewise. I, unusually, changed my position because I just knew, somehow, I was not going to mc any time in the next couple of weeks in fact, i felt I might not at all and the sonographer said as much. (My pregnancy stopped at week 4/5 and the baby never developed but yet my placenta did and my body, five/six weeks later, still thinks it is pg!).

i said on your thread about infection but you can manage your signs and symptoms as long as you know what they are and have a number nearby should you partner need to ring EPAU or the OOH dr if you get into any trouble (you'll be fine am sure).

I have chosen to have mm because I have to look after DS, work is less than impressed at my three weeks off so far, can't exercise, still feel pg, and want to visit my niece-in-law (newborn aw) and go to a wedding on the other side of the country but daren't while in this shitty state. Am also a right mardy cow and feel like a walking miscarriage ghost lady.

Do what is right for you, don't be pressured - as long as you keep safe :)

sovery i've only just realised that you've been sending me lovely and supportive (if a tad bossy) replies from hospital! You really do meet the most awesome, generous people on this site.

Thank you so much and I hope you are doing ok.

oh crackers heidi am not in hospital today, am in tomorrow, though am starting to mc at home today courtesy of dem tablets they gave me yesterday.

Was reet bossy lol, but that was the computer not me! i just realised it sounded that way when I did not mean it at all! :)

I had a MMC with medical management in December. Luckily I was in a side room with its own toilet. I wore jogging bottoms and a jumper. I was 9 weeks but they said the baby had stopped growing at 7-8 weeks.
I had to put a cardboard bed pan on the toilet and anything I passed had to go into that. After each trip to the toilet i was told to cover the bed pan with paper and then ring the buzzer so they could come and remove it.
I found that I could feel when my body was ready to pass something and I had very little bleeding on a pad. I did take lots of spare knickers with me but didn't need them.
My DH wasn't there because he was looking after DD but on reflection I wouldn't have wanted anyone with me.
I had painkillers and actually physically for me it wasn't too bad and not as bad as I had feared. Emotionally it was horrible.
I went in at 8am and they let me home at 3.30pm.
I hope this helps and it' not too bad for you.

Thank you simon (!) that was very helpful. Well jealous of your side room and personal privy...

Thanks for your replies to my panicky questions! (and sorry for jumping on your thread sovery!) I am hopeful that something will happen before medical intervention is needed, but will keep posting because it helps so much. Can I just say that though I am so sorry for all of you on here, I am so very thankful to you all for the support you have provided through this. I know from experience that this pain will pass and life will go on, but to have a virtual hand to hold has been a big help to me, and in my darkest moments I have drawn strength from knowing someone is there.

Aha so very you see I am a dimwit. My brain has packed up after staying in and looking at the wall all week.

Seriously I hope today goes ok for you and that you're able to do some of the normal nice stuff you talk about very soon, after all this horrible waiting.

Harriet I hope you're doing ok too. I've decided to take a chance and leave the house for a bit today, before I properly start climbing the walls.

was just thinking about you sovery and hope you are okay.

all went very well, thanks simon. MM was really, just fine, I was left to my own devices, was very provate despite being in a bay and wasn't the gorefest i expected. very fortunate.

Thank you so much for your help and support peeps, i really appreciate it. I hope you are all ok and wish you all wonderful (fecund) futures! x

ps is me, so but not fed up any more, hence name change! :)

That's great to hear - away with you now and do some fun stuff!