I am at work in an open plan office waiting for my miscarriage to start

[ExpatAl]

I am, or rather I was, 5 weeks, 4 days pregnant. I got pregnant by IVF FET. We lost our son last year when he was born at 25 weeks. And now we're losing this one. It is so fucking shit. I don't feel like we'll ever have a live baby.

Thanks Expat I'm just taking each day as it comes some are good some are bad. Mine was over quite quickly (about 4/5 days) and pain free. I guess in that respect I was 'lucky' but had a really bad headache a few days after and wouldn't allow myself and pain killers as I felt I 'deserved' the pain - silly I know :(

Take care
x

Change, I understood what you meant. I like to hear stories like yours - they give me hope.
Foof, I'm so sorry. It's so awful to know that what should be the most natural thing has gone so wrong. It's an amazing feeling to know there's a new heartbeat inside you.

I hate this waiting around for it to start.

So sorry to hear this. I had an early miscarriage at 5w in January and another at just under 5w in February. They were quite different so I think what you experience can vary a lot. The first time I really didn't bleed very much - a bit less than an ordinary period, though sort of thicker blood somehow, and some pain. The second time, although it was even earlier, was much heavier bleeding and worse cramps - quite like the first day of my (quite painful and initially heavy) periods, but for two days followed by a few more days of lighter bleeding, a week or so altogether. I did need and want to be at home especially the second time as the bleeding was unpredictable.

Do get a store of painkillers, especially if you don't usually have period cramps so aren't used to them. Cocodamol works best for me though can make you a bit constipated. Although it is ghastly there was for me a some sense of relief when the worst is over - it was quite obvious when the "main" bleed had finished and despite the sadness my body had a feeling of having done it's job somehow.

In case you are worried about what you might see - there really won't be anything recognisable at this stage. You might see some clots and some bits of tissue as you do sometimes with a heavy period. In this pregnancy I had a scan at exactly 6w, so close to where you are now, and even in a viable pregnancy the embryo is only 5mm long at that stage.

Hope you don't find these details upsetting but when it happened to me I really wanted to know what to expect. Hot water bottle is a good idea if you can get hold of one - helps with the pain and is comforting too.

I'm still waiting for it to start. I suppose that's normal.

Thanks Kalidasa - I'm so sorry that you've had 2 of these so recently. It's a good tip to take pain killers - I don't normally get bad cramps so it might come as a surprise. In a strange way I want the pain. It would at least make it real.

how are you today expatal, hope u r ok x thinking of u hun x

Thanks for asking Doormat. I'm struggling today. This mc hasn't been so bad but I can't stop thinking about my boy and I can't stop crying.

awww expatal sending you lots of cyberhugs, i know they may not mean much but you have been in my thoughts ever since i seen your first post...sorry i couldnt support you yesterday xxx

I don't think the mc has started. I'm not sure what to expect. I've had no pain yet and bleeding but not very heavy. Perhaps I lost it all during my big bleed on Friday. Could it all have happened in just 2 hours??

i have only ever experienced one m/c expatal..as mine was from start to finish around 28 hrs....

God, so sorry you're going through this. It's awful, awful, awful, whenever it happens.

I won't post false hope messages because they never helped me much - just fingers crossed that you get better luck next time. xx

This is such a heartbreaking thread. Lots of love Expat and all you other ladies.

Just read your latest posts - I never had any pain with any of the 3 early MCs I had (all between 6 and 9w), just bleeding - and I always knew when I had lost the sac because it just felt different, a bigger lump, iykwim. And yes, I got bleeding for a couple of days afterwards but just light, as my periods normally are.
In my case, each one took a different time from start of bleeding to complete loss; and then a couple of days after to stop bleeding entirely. First one was sat night to monday lunchtime; second one was wed night to thurs evening; and the third one was a lunchtime (scan appt!) through to the evening, iirc. I don't know if you can lose it all in 2h, seems a bit quick but possible, I suppose.

Hi ExpatAl
I'm so sorry you're going through this as well as your previous loss.

It is possible for a miscarriage to take two hours and it's also possible that it takes two weeks or more. Did I read that you have a scan tomorrow? You will certainly know more then, but it's possible that you've already had it.

I know how you feel, I've had 5 miscarriages, all between 9 and 12 weeks. We've given up trying now, it's too hard. BUT it does get easier. Take care

5 losses? That's horrific. I'm so sorry Life. It will never get easier to have lost our boy. He was healthy and just died because of a stupid random brain bleed. He lived for a week and it was a hell of a heartbreaking amazing wonderful terrible rollercoaster week.

how are you today expatal, sending all my love and cyberhugs too x
have inboxed u also xxx