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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

what do I do now?

13 replies

jodidi · 08/04/2012 23:15

I've been bleeding for a couple of days, spotting mostly. This afternoon it was obvious that it is a definite miscarriage. I was about 12 weeks, I was showing, people had already started to guess.

Do I need to see a doctor? I think everything came out and don't really want to have to see anyone if I don't have to.

OP posts:

maples · 09/04/2012 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geekette · 09/04/2012 00:30

hugs, do you have someone in rl for support? i would do as maples advises...

Babylon1 · 09/04/2012 00:32

So sorry to read honey

I agree you should see dr ASAP just to confirm mc complete or whether you need D&C, much better than trying to deal with the loss and then an infection too

Stay strong xxx

Original poster

jodidi · 09/04/2012 00:34

Dp is here, he's being really lovely. I'll ring the doctor again tomorrow.

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FoofFighter · 09/04/2012 10:34

Hello Jodidi :)

So sorry to hear you've lost your little baby

I lost mine too on Saturday and have rung the EPU this morning and am going in for a scan Wednesday to check everything's as it should be.

Might be worth ringing yours directly rather than GP, as that's where you'll need to be seen anyway and they should be open today x

Original poster

jodidi · 09/04/2012 14:16

I spoke to the doctor who said as long as I'm feeling well I don't need to see anyone. I had my 12 week scan booked for Thursday, so she said I should still go to that but if I didn't feel up to it I could decide not to bother and just do another home test in about 2 weeks time, which should be negative.

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FoofFighter · 09/04/2012 14:23

I really feel that's bad advice you've been given Jodidi

Unless they m/c happened in a hospital and someone checked all the stuff that came out ok they can't be sure that nothing has been left behind that could cause you problems.

please promise if you get pain, discharge, generally feeling unwell or a fever that you'll get yourself checked out?

Original poster

jodidi · 09/04/2012 15:21

I will get checked if I feel ill. I will also speak to the community midwife tomorrow when I ring to cancel my next appointment with her. I actually don't want to see anyone, or go to the scan that was supposed to be happy. What I really want to do is curl up and cry for ever, but I won't cos I have 2 other children I need to look after.

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geekette · 09/04/2012 17:53

Can you get someone to take care of the kids for a day or two so that you can have a good cry? I think I would be balling my eyes out uncontrollably...

I also ready Foof's thread and I know you are feeling pathetic. You shouldn't! I think you are going through something extremely difficult.

I do think you should go in for a scan sooner rather than later. It would be awful to get an infection in the current state of affairs... But the professionals must know what they are doing...

Hugs to both you and Foof.

Original poster

jodidi · 09/04/2012 18:10

Thanks. My parents are coming tomorrow so they can help out with the kids. They've said they can come every day as long as I need them to. Dp has been doing the majority of everything this weekend as I can't cope with doing anything. It took all my effort to just have a shower.

The scan is booked for Thursday (that's the earliest can fit me in), but I really don't know if I am going to go. I know it's gone and I don't need that to be confirmed, but I suppose I should confirm that everything is back to normal. I will be asking the community midwife tomorrow what she thinks, I just think it will be too hard to sit and wait in a room full of pregnant women waiting for good scans when I know what they will find with mine. I think I would rather just wait and seek medical advice if I do feel ill at any time.

OP posts:

FoofFighter · 09/04/2012 18:29

Honey we all know what that feels like, but have to say we honestly do not know what things others are going through, wether they are awaiting bad news too. If you ask there is usually a side room somewhere you could wait instead. I suppose I am lucky in that with me it's the epu clinic I have to go to although its' the same place the epu use it first thing in the mornings

Cakeplease · 09/04/2012 19:04

Hi jodidi, hope you are ok & coping. Such a hideous time. It does get easier, slowly. I just wanted to let you know what I'd been told. It's up to you to do what you think is best. I was told my HCG levels were dropping & I was miscarrying. They took repeat bloods 4 days later to check dropping sufficiently and nurse at EPU said I didn't need to be scanned or seen unless unwell or excessive pain / bleeding. She said just take a pregnancy test 7-10 days later to check it was negative. As long as negative test then all Over and cleared Out. I took the test Friday (5 days after seeing her, 8 since full miscarriage, and got a very faint positive took it today and very negative).
Have decided to close that chapter tonight with wine & soft cheese!

Obviously you must do what is best for you & follow medical advice. I thought I needed a scan / to be seen to check it was all over but she said -ve test will tell you that & as long as no other symptoms then u r done.

It's so horrible for us all but this chat room has helped immensely. Thank you Ladies x

Original poster

jodidi · 09/04/2012 20:02

Thanks Cake. I think I'd rather do that, so I may ring and cancel the scan. I just want everything to go back to normal now.

We're going to get a plant to remember it by, and plant it in the front garden. That was dp's idea and I think it will help a little bit. I'm quite surprised he thought of it because he didn't want this baby and I didn't think he'd be this upset by it. I actually thought he'd be relieved, which appears to have been a great disservice to him, he's almost as upset as I am.

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