where's the mc info on tinternet?

[funthatisfunny]

Am I missing something or is there a real dearth of mc info on the internet? I can find stuff on big sites like babycentre, NHS, here etc which all says what mc is, why it might happen - but it is all medical-based. I had to come to the forum to understand how it might feel (physically) to start to mc; to understand what mc might entail (I thought it was just like a bad period! I now know better thanks to you guys and have now packed an overnight bag and got disposable (of a kind) knick-knacks and all the painkillers I can etc etc); to understand how it might make me feel emotionally (hormones etc - still being 'pregnant' with a mmc!), that I might need support and help, that I should stock up on food, - helpful practical stuff like the tips thread) but also just what the heck is going on and how it will turn my world upside down.

I am really surprised at how my GP and Dr at the hosp didn't offer me a scrap of advice of what to expect either.

is it just that i am not looking in the right places or is it simply not really talked about? Is it still a bit taboo even though it happens so often? I mean, I don't want the world and his dog to know about my mc but some info and common knowledge might be nice?

Am feeling crusady. Probably bladdy hormones.

Crusade away - the lack of practical advice is shocking.

You really should have been offered some info at the hospital. Luckily I was given some some leaflets, and the doc who scanned me answered my questions, but even that would just info about my options and a leaflet from the Miscarriage Association. I also found a lot of the advice I got was contradictory, for example I was told that I could start ttc again immediately, after my next period, or after 3 months, depending on which leaflet/doctor it came from.

What I really would have found useful is some of the advice I've seen on here - the practical stuff, the real stuff. If you're about to have a baby, you can find all sorts of real advice on any website, from what music to listen to while pregnant, to what to pack in a labour bag. Considering how common miscarriage is, and given that you don't have 9 months to prepare for it, you'd expect the internet to be littered with quick 'n dirty 'what to do when you're about to miscarry' guides. But it isn't.

It took me having a miscarriage to teach me what to do in the event of a miscarriage.

Grrr! Now you've got my hormones stirred up too (still waiting for levels to drop to 0).

Thanks for responding brown.

That is exactly what I found - that it took me to be in this situ to have the faintest clue what it is all about. Even my pregnancy book (the pregnancy bible, so a good one as far as I can tell) has no real info, it is all the obvious, medical stuff - nothing about packing a bag and what to put in it and how to prepare and make it manageable. nothing about care or how to look after yourself or what to expect. So what if you need to use the words 'blood' and 'clot', it is what happens. How to manage it is so crazily important; it didn't even occur to me until I found the tips thread that it could be managed in any way, it was so very comforting to find that thread.

Even silly stuff like a detailed FAQ bit would be useful. I had to search forums high and low to find out even if my pg symptoms were a sign I was pregnant and all this was a silly mistake, but after reading a lot of shit found you can have strong pg symptoms and still have a mmc. Dead sad you have to trawl through rubbish to help yourself cope with something so traumatic and not get false hope from the crazies.

Am wondering whether to start up a website or blog or something. waddyareckon?

Again, anyone do let me know if you foound somewhere good for info and save me my crusade!

The mc association is decent and I've not called it myself but I've heard their helpline is very good for advice on specifics when you need it. When looking for info though I've never found it comes up very highly on searches.

Aside from that there is so much nonsense and conjecture about mc on the internet that it's incredibly difficult to sort out what's actually going to help you. This is compounded by the fact mc is different every time for every woman. I know after my first mc I made a comment on a forum about why I thought something may have happened the way it did, it wasn't long before I saw this being repeated as fact on the same forum by people who had clearly seen my post. I know it was well meaning but 1) I didn't say I knew this for certain and 2) even if I had don't listen to me, you don't even know who I am!

I think the internet is a very tempting tool at a time when you aren't given a massive amount of information, partly because experiences vary so massively, partly because it is very routine to medical staff and no matter how nice they are it's not difficult to pick up on the fact this is no big deal to them when it's everything to you and we all want to know what went wrong when most of the time nobody can tell us.

OP I'm not sure if you have mc yet or not, by all means be prepared for the worst but sometimes a mmc can be ok physically. Mine was like a bad period (and much easier than the period I had after taking the morning after pill in my teens) so it's not a foregone conclusion it will be physically horrific. Wishing you all the best x

Agreed.

I got nothing from the hospital, no leaflets, no verbal advice. they brushed it under the carpet with a oh come back next week you never know kind of attitude (that I WILL be taking up with them!) I needed to know the gubbins of it. What would actually happen. would I see/feel the baby. What should i do with it? Who should I call? When should I call? How do I know that something is wrong and not as it should be? etc

I was also shocked that there isn't anything easily found here on Mumsnet. Not the talk boards, but the actual pregnancy bit of the site.
www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy

no mention of miscarriage. which considering that there is some kind of miscarriage campaign going on I find awful.

But if you put miscarriage into the search bar -www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/miscarriage

why can't this be clearer and on the pregnancy pages where it's easy to find?

I couldn't for the life of me have rung up and spoken to the miscarriage ass. for example, was far too upset.

I couldn't find anything either. No advice anywhere except forums. Dp didn't want me to look before the mc as he was trying to be positive. I just wanted to find out what exactly was going to happen and what I needed to do about it. I vaguely knew that it would involve quite a bit of bleeding, but I didn't realise that I would be able to see the baby (rather naive as I was 12 weeks so obviously it was big enough to see). I didn't realise how messy it was going to be.

I rang the out of hours gp and she was very nice but didn't tell me anything other than 'there isn't anything we can do to stop it, but if you want to come in we can check your blood pressure etc' I would have liked to find a no-nonsense, simple language website/page to just tell me what to do, step by step.