when will I start to miscarry?

[funthatisfunny]

Hi people

My pregnancy might have stopped developing at 4/5 weeks and am now 7 weeks. I have had no bleeding or cramping or sign of anything wrong but... I have to prepare for the worst. I wonder, when would i be expected to start to miscarry? Will I miscarry naturally or could I stay in this state ad infinitum?

My family are leaving me for easter (i have to work; DH has a wedding to go to, DS with grandparents) but I don't think I could go through a miscarriage alone, should I ask them to stay just in case?

My body is giving me no signs it will miscarry, is this typical - will it happen out of the blue?

Am so naive and a bit scared. Thanks for your help.

I'm sorry to hear that your pregnancy isn't viable.

Unfortunately there is no way of knowing when you will start to miscarry. It could take days or it could be in several weeks time. It is likely to start with some cramps and spotting and then the bleeding gets heavier.

You don't have to stay waiting. There is the option of taking medication to induce the miscarriage - i did this as I couldn't stand waiting and wanted it to be over with. It wasn't a pleasant experience but it was the right thing for me at the time.

You should ask your husband not to go away for the wedding if you don't want to be alone - he should be looking after you at this time, after all it was his baby too and it is important to support each other through it.

Hi katandkit, thanks so much for your reply.

We have to go back for another viability scan next week to check the baby isn't just taking its time but I know my dates and can't imagine how I could only have a 4/5 week old pregnancy. Obviously I hope this is all a terrible mistake so have told DH to go away at the weekend as planned, he wanted to stay with me. I have an enormous work deadline to meet so had planned to spend the long weekend holed up at work! Today though I feel a lot of grief and sadness and worry about miscarrying.

I think i will see if he can stay... and if the hospital offer ERPC at the end of our scan next week take it to get things moving.

thanks for listening, I really appreciate it.

Hi funny, just wondered how you were getting on lovey x

Hullo Foeuf (!nice name change) how do?! How kind of you to pop in!

I am fine, ta. Well, I am in vile limbo not knowing if I have a hiding baby or one that died some weeks ago! After taking some deep breaths and engaging my brain I have worked out that the bubs could possibly have presented as five weeks and therefore been invisible at the scan. But that would be too lucky, right? Clutching at straws. Bah shitty shit.

I hope you are ok? Are you relaxing yet or still on pins? the former I hope x

Pins I'm afraid, scan tomorrow at 9am - but not wanting to hijack. So, you reckon your dates might be off after all? That would be fab if it were :) when is the scan?

Oh good luck for tomorrow, I am sure all will be fine but can totally understand your nerves - they are nervewracking at the best of times. All will be well I am sure of it; I shall lurk around the thread tomorrow to see how it went :)

Well, there is a clutching at straws chance I could have been a few days less preggo than I thought and adding the chance it could be a couple of days smaller than dates or just hiding, it could have been an invisible 5 weeker. DS always measured smaller on scans than my dates said he should be so this also gives me hope... Is nonsense really tho, I know you should see something at 6 weeks. Is just something I think to enable me to work ;0)

Scan is thurs am. TBH by then I'll probably be begging for it just to tell me what the fuck is going on! it's the not knowing eh?

So much good luck for tomorrow :)

Hi there. I have had lots of experience with blighted ovum and have been where you are several times...im there right now as it happens.

You were asking when you would start to miscarry and i wanted to tell you the possibilities.

With one of mine, i had a small bleed at 4 weekish, just after i got a BFP. It tailed off. On scan at 6 weeks, i was told (like you) to come back in 10 days. There was no baby there, just a nice plump empty sac. I opted to wait for nature to do its thing....i didnt begin bleeding and didnt loose that pregnancy until i was 13 weeks. It was torture.

Since then i have had another 4, i usually take medication to ensure it ends in a more controlled and timely manner. (to have more than one is highly unusual, im some kind of freak i think, so dont worry about this happening to you again)

The bitch is, as you have said, that all pregnancy symptoms continue, to all intents and purposes, you still feel very pregnant, even though it is failing.

In other words, this can go on for many weeks yet, there is no way to predict.
Im nearly 8 weeks, now and have begun bleeding, so im hoping fr it to all be over this weekend, but as i say, it could go on for weeks yet.

Good luck, all the best in your decisions and future. I feel your pain, i understand what you are going through. Its awful.
If you want to ask anything, then please do, i dont mind talking about it.
x

mrsnesbit thank you so much for taking the time to help me and share your stories. I am so very sorry this keeps happening to you, once is a bitch but so many times - I really hope you can find some answers soon.

Yeah, I am just so bloody pregnant! I even have a little pot. it makes all this so hard to deal with and put to the back of my mind to deal with the everyday :( I think, as it seems nothing ever grew but the sac and that only to week 4/5, that there won't be much 'stuff' to pass and so the medication at home would be the best bet for me. I am terrified of any kind of surgery or being 'under' and the stories that it doesn't work, and would always rather do this kind of thing at home (had a home birth with DS, am not a hospital person at all). You have helped confirm my decision, thank you. Sitting and waiting to miscarry naturally while trying to work and look after my toddler would be utterly shit and at least with the medication I can try and get a sick note. As it is I analyse every twinge and knicker check bloody all the bloody time.

Take care of yourself mrsnesbit xxx

Hi Funthats, how are you doing?

hello mrs nesbit!

I am ok thanks. Inasmuch as anyone is in this situation... Have been getting stronger crampy pains over the past two days, think it must be starting... am getting to the point where am expecting to start spotting, am thinking about painkillers, and most definitely thinking about really big glasses of wine. I just hope this doesn't eke out over several more days before anything proper happens but you know, what will be and all that jazz.

Is all quite scary but I do think that when I do start spotting I will be scared, desperately sad, and then relieved that finally I have an answer and can start to grieve and move on. It's the not knowing.

Did you mc in the end or was it just a little bleed? hope it was the latter x

Hi, I get what you mean about the relief about stuff happening. The limbo is awful tbh.

Im still having very small amounts of brown discharge when i wipe (tmi, sorry)
Ive got a scan booked on Wednesday. I will know from there as i will be over the 6 week mark.

I already know that its another blighted ovum, so i will be able to get the meds to get it over & done with.

With regards to the pain, you may need stronger painkillers than what you can get over the counter. Just consider that if nothing has begun to happen by Tuesday, make an appointment with your GP and get industrial strength painkillers in your cupboard.
If over the weekend the pain gets worse, and you struggle to cope, go to your nearest A&E. For me, even at 6-8 weeks, i need gas & air, and morphine as i labour, and so have the pain of labour.
Good news is that when it begins, its usually over within 24 hours.

I hope its not too horrendous for you love. Its shit and you dont deserve it.
x