My second loss and need an internet angel...

[stelabelle]

Hello everyone

I wonder if you can help me. I have been bleeding heavily for 6 days and am waiting for the horrible scan on Friday to confirm my MC. This will be my second loss, it's bloody heartbreaking, it's the worse thing to happen to me since I was 15 and my nan died, which probably means I've lived a lovely life so far, but I don't know if I could go through it again. :(

So this is my question, i know that they always say the doctors won't even look at you until you have had three, but what if you ask for specific tests, do they have to refer you, if it just simple blood tests you want, like hormone levels, progesterone etc?

My history: aged 41, never had a baby, under active thyroid being treated and levels currently ok, HUGE 11 cm fibroid surgically removed in 2009, all looked good in there apparently and no repeats so far.

Do I have any argument at all for earlier tests? Surely if I think it might be something as simple as a hormone deficiency, it might be worth avoiding further heartache in the future? I just need to know how to play it with my GP who is a lady and generally quite supportive... in other words if I ask for these tests, can they refuse me and if so I can I ask for a second opinion? Who knows, maybe there is a GP floating around on our lovely forum who can advise me?

Thanks so much everyone,

Estelle xx

Hi Estelle, just wanted to say hi and to
let you know I know how you feel. Been through 2 mcs myself recently and it is hard, especially 2 nd time because it's happened again but you're no near to tests. It's bloody cruel that you have to go through 3.

Maybe if you have specific things you needed test, eg clotting, perhaps a sympathetic GP would agree. Just play the line "i'm not expecting all the investigations but I think this could be my problem, could i have a blood test (or whatever)".

Otherwise - enquire about getting it done privately and how much it would cost. Simple tests shouldn't be too bad.

on a positive note, I'm 12 weeks pregnant now, just waiting for ny scan to confirm things, keep trying.

Also, there's a thread here under conception tiled something like "just MC and looking for somewhere to hide..." lots of ladies in there with excellent advice, try copying and pasting your message in there xxx

sorry it's "just mc and ready to try again?...."

Ah thank you so much madaboutmadmen, I shall take a look at that other thread too - my problem is that I hate to be out of control and this is totally out of my control in so many ways... it's horrendous and I'm so sorry you have had to go through it too, I can't believe how common it is...it makes you appreciate the fragility of life that's for sure ...

Take care and hope to speak to you again :)

Estelle

Hi Estelle

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have had 3 mcs in between my 2 DC. I had tests after my 2nd one. It was through the EPU rather than the GP. To be honest I never went to my GP after he referred me for bleeding the 2nd time which was a mmc.

If you can check out if there is an EPU you may be able to self refer and ask their advice. Your age may give you more argument for testing now. I'm 40 and sobbed so much I think the MW/Dr took blood to try and make me stop crying .

I did go on and have my DS, 4th time lucky and did bleed during that pregnancy.

Good luck. Be kind to yourself. (hugs)

the sonographer in the early pregnancy unit told me that 2 is still very common, that's why they don't test until 3. Go and push your GP for some tests now, in the meantime get on with trying again if you're up to it mentally.

Chances are there's nothing wrong and next time will be fine, but i know that even though that's sounds sensible it's hard to think that way at the mo.

Hope it works out well. join the other thread for some support, they're great xx

Hi Estelle

So sorry you're going through this. I had one miscarriage and that was hellish enough before having DS just before my 42nd birthday.

I was on the thread mentioned above and it was a sanity saver. There is another extremely supportive thread for those in their fourties - Fantastic 40 plus. I think you have every argument to push for earlier testing given your age.

Thinking of you for Friday x

Hi Scotlass

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this so many times! it's crazy and it sounds like it's the luck of the draw... I think there may be some sobbing, and it will have to be through the GP, my EPU are pretty overstretched and useless... all too common I'm sure...:)

I shall keep you posted as to how it goes, if I get any joy I will post on here because there must be lots of women keeping their heads down because that's what they think the protocol is.

Take care too,

Estelle xx

Ah thefatladyscreams, I like the sound of Fantastic 40 plus, it sounds like it was written for me. I've never been a woman who screams about her biological clock ticking, at the end of the day I didn't meet 'the one' until 4 years ago and we didn't get married until 2 years ago, so we've worked with the timescales we've been given, but I just feel it's every woman's right when she is going through the things we've been forced to go through.. I shall stand my ground on Friday girls! :) xx

Hope you're holding up OK and just to say thinking of you tomorrow xxx

Ah thanks so much thefatladyscreams (love your username) I'm trying to be brave, I think the chat with the doc will be ok, but I'm not
looking forward to the scan ... Just that horrible sinking feeling
with there is literally nothing there, I understand the sorrowful feeling but
last time I felt so ashamed too... Thankfully DH will hold my hand
bless him, in lots of ways I'm very lucky, he's a great support and we
sometimes forget hoe hard it is for them, they must feel so helpless a lot of the time...

Thank you for thinking of me, I'll let you know how it goes xxxx

Hi Estelle,

I went for my scan today to confirm my miscarriage. This is my second miscarriage, I'm 38 with a hypoactive thyroid too.

Sadly and happily the nurse/clinical specialist (EPAU) recognised us from our first miscarriage last year. She was really kind and has written us a letter for my GP. In the letter she states I've had 2 consecutive miscarriages and with my age she's asked that I'm reviewed in the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic. I'm not sure what tests they'll do but at least this is a starting point and we don't have to wait until 3 miscarriages to start tests. Hopefully my GP will be on board.

Good luck and stay positive xxx

Hi Happy7

I am so sorry you are going through a similar experience, I really do feel for you, it does not get any easier.

How brilliant and proactive of your hospital team to do that for you and I'm so glad you messaged, I think often they are so busy they don't even stop to take a proper history and I'm sure with my hypothyroid and the age factor, they could make a difference.

Please do PM me and let me know how you go on, as it all progresses, wishing you lots of luck with it all!

Estelle xx

Hello :) Sorry to hear about your losses.

I have had 3 mmc, but my gp referred me after my second due to my age ( I was 37). However, the hospital where I had my 2 losses said they wouldn't test me, so my Gp referred me to another. Don't forget you can choose where you want to be seen, so if one hospital says no - then another may say yes. Happily I am now 19 weeks pregnant, after I was found to have clotting issues - so now take double aspirin and clexane injections.

I hope today is not too awful for you :( xx

Hello batteryhen

Congratulations on your pregnancy after everything your been through, that is heartening to hear!

Today has been mixed, the scan showed nothing at all which tells us that the last wk of bleeding means the MC is all but over.. I dud get upset but I had a good chat with the nurse after and I'm galvanized to not take no for an answer. The hospital will write to the gp asking if she will refer me, and then the nurse actually recommend uni of Coventry, even though she works at Warwick! Apparently Sionhan Quenby works out of there is is doing a lot of pioneering work around recurrent MC and I should be able to self refer. It's made me feel a million times better... We have a long way to go bit it is a start...

Thanks for thinking of me everyone, I will keep the thread updated as and when things move on... Keep the faith xxxx