So I've not been on here since the day we went to the hospital and they confirmed really what I already knew. It's been a horrid time but I think I'm out the other side.
Basically, had a TINY bleed at 7 weeks and hospital wouldn't see me for a week due to having to be 8 weeks before scan. Had to have a week off work (felt v guilty) and then went back for a week after the news - before half term. At half term, had second scan to confirm and yup, there was the confirmation, a sac but no baby, no bean, no nothing. Opted for medical management as couldn't afford to have it start naturally in the middle of school time.
Then I started bleeding naturally before I was due at hosp. Went to the docs on Monday am, who signed me off for a week; into hospital for the mifethingummy and then told to go back for the next lot on Thurs. Just before taking the pill, I had real wobbles and was very scared and very weepy. The nurses were absolutely amazing. In the end I took it, got home and then had an hour where I was in agony and where I passed two massive clots (tmi, sorry) - I was a bit shocked at what my body could produce. Weds felt much better and then Thurs went into hosp for the big dosages of drugs. Due to the cramps etc on Tues, they scanned me and discovered only 8mm left to come out, so didn't need the drugs. Decided to go back to work on Fri and was so glad I did, although yesterday I was knackered. The last bit came out yesterday and the bleeding has stopped and the cramps are few and far between. I actually feel fine, much more like my usual self and am ok.
However, nothing could have prepared me for what was basically labour on a small scale, or for the way I now feel. While the old me has clicked back into action, I do find myself crying at random times and for no reason. I feel guilty when I am happy and I panic about getting pregnant again; in fact I have been REALLY put off the whole idea of being pregnant and I hope that this is just a phase. My DH has been amazing and the nurses at the hospital were wonderful. It's just me that needs to get a grip.
Hope you are all ok. Here's to happier times xxxxx