Today was my due date.

[LauraIngallsPalmer]

It is a very sad day. What makes it even more difficult is that I also lost my second pregnancy, which - if it had been viable - would have at least helped buffer the pain of today. I would have had something lovely and positive to look forward to. But instead I'll just have another sad, babyless due date to get through in a few months time.

I was doing so well today, until about 10 minutes ago. I'm on my own, I didn't know it would hurt like this.

I'm very sorry to hear that, I remember how bereft I felt on my due date after losing DS2.
I promise you that whilst it will always be sad, it does get easier.

Thank you, Sauvg I know it gets easier (and it has been, day by day), it just feels like I don't have a lot of people in RL that I can express myself with at the moment - and I know MN is a good place to go, where others (like yourself) know exactly what I'm going through.

I am so very sorry,have a squeeze, I know how you feel, mine is on friday and I have also lost another in the meantime. Its so very difficult isn't it? Can you go out and see friends or go to the gym or do something to take your mind off the situation? Again I am sorry and thinking of you.

This is already making me feel better - having a place to express myself and feeling solidarity versus loneliness. Thank you. I'm so sorry about your losses, too. It's a horrible thing we have gone through.

I actually recognise your name, Farfalla - we were on the Feb 2012 together although I never really posted, only lurked but I immediately name-changed after my first MC. Every time I come across your name I'm hoping you've had good news.

Hope you're ok Laura

Farfalla my due date is on Friday too. I actually have my 12 week scan on Friday for the new bean and really hope all is well. Would be a bit of a kick in the teeth if it wasn't (disclaimer: have already had 8 week scan and one last week. All was well but was slightly small for dates- a few days out- hence returning to scan a week later so that EDD can be confirmed and NT tests done. Doesn't stop the post-MC paranoia though...that won't end for another 6 months!)

Good luck to you all with trying again if that's what you decide to do and don't feel lonely. Sadly there are quite a few of us...

So sorry for your loss Laura, it's shit. I had back to back mcs a couple of years ago and it was really dark days. I hope you get another bfp soon.

I'm sorry for your loss. On my due date with my MC, I bought some flowers and then lit a candle. I also started making a cushion but I never finished it. Did you do anything as a remembrance? Sometimes that can help.

One of my very very luffly friends has just arrived and is dragging me out to the pub to play naughty Scrabble. Already feeling much better.

Thank you everyone for giving me this space to share and for sharing yourselves.

Sooty I do think I want to do something special as a remembrance, but not sure yet what that should be. Thank you for the idea.

Good luck with your scan Ellie

Hope you have a good evening.

I hope Scrabble is distracting you and cheering you up now, and that you conk out straight to sleep when you get home.

I don't have any advice, not having yet passed my rough due date , but I just wanted to empathise. I'm really not looking forward to mine (beginning of May) and i'ts made worse by the dawning certainty that I WON'T be pregnant again by then, despite the comforting words of the hospital staff. Hopefully (for you as well as me), once the day is over, that will be an end to it :(

Oh I am pleased to hear you are being dragged out, that is definitely what you need. No good news here yet, but still trying! I know we will get there eventually but it has been by far the shittest thing that ever happened to me and to our relationship ifI am honest.

Good luck eliemay

Well that went tits up. My lovely friend's stupidly insensitive asshole boyfriend showed up and picked a ridiculous fight with me over a scrabble word. For real. I tried to laugh about it and keep the mood relaxed while he continued to become more upset over my scrabble score () but he wouldn't stop going on about it. Friend was upset, kept asking him to calm down, but finally I just politely excused myself, thanked her for the drink and came home. Friend just popped back over (left stupid asshole at the pub), and was apologising profusely - going on and on about how he hasn't eaten and she doesn't know why he was being so rude, that she's never seen him be that rude to someone, blah blah blah. I assured her that it wasn't her fault and tried to make her feel better by saying I was really tired anyway, etc. etc. etc. God. How exhausting.

Farfalla I know what you mean about the MCs being really tough on your relationship - DP and I have actually separated for the next few months because it's been so hard on us. We both need some recovery space so we can find our was back to a healthier place together. Losing a pregnancy can bring out so much anger and frustration.

Oh I am so sorry that you had a crap night and that the strain has lead to you separating, you poor thing. I can totally understand how the pressure can build up and you end up dealing with things so differently. For us, sex has become a battle ground with DH not being up for it at the right times and me turning into a wailing banshee about it. Nice! I really hope you manage to get back together if that is what is right fo ryou both.

So sorry for your losses.
My first due date is next week and have also had a second mc since.
I know what you mean I had hoped I would be pregnant before this date came so I would have something else to concentrate on.
I am also so sorry to hear bout your relationship.
Thinking of you and wish u all the luck in the future
xx

Hi lola - hope you have a sunny, positive day coming up. I'm sorry for your losses - I completely know exactly where you are and what you're going through. I will say, though, that all of the lovely laydees on MN have really helped me get through my first due date. (And my friend's jerky BF sent a very nice email apology!)

To comment on the current state of my relationship - the separation is actually a really good thing. We've been able to start carving out our own 'solo' places within the relationship (which for me was paramount to a future together), and we're having weekly dates which are going really well so far. We're both committed to making it work - we just needed some SPACE. Especially regarding the stress and sadness of back-to-back miscarriages. I've needed to find myself again (the not-as-angry me), so I can be present for the relationship.

All best to everyone - thank you again for helping me through a rough time this past week.

Hi Laura
Sorry not been on here for a bit sooo glad relationship on mend and hopefully becoming even stronger all the best xx