Horrendpus experience. Pls help

[RoxyLady]

]I just need to talk to someone who has also miscarried. Im in shock right now and i dont want to talk to anyone.

I was 10 weeks and started having brown discharge on sat. Went to hospital but they said it was normal and put me on bedrest. Same all through sunday. Mon 2:30am i was getting blood but not alot. Went to docs who told me i had a UTI which i had a urine sample for two weeks ago!!!! For some reason they had not told me. So got antibiotics and told we would go for a scan tomorrow morning.
That afternoon i started getting contraction pains to the point where i felt like i was in labor. My hubby took me to hospital and by that time i felt like i was in final stages of labor. They gave me morphine which helped but had a scan and they couldnt find pregnancy. Then had internal and found baby was trapped and blocking the way which had sent me into contractions. They finally remived it and now we are left with nothing

I feel completely numb, i dont want to talk to friends or family. I just want to talk to someone else who has had this and want to know how you move on. I just feel traumatised by yesterday and mr foxy and i can hardly look at eachother. We are so sad. We had our heart set on this baby. I cant sleep. I keep getting flashbacks.

Roxy, I really don't know how to move on, except to tell you that you keep going to bed and getting up, because you have to, and you have periods of tears and periods of numbness and periods of furious refusal to acknowledge it at all, and then more and more days of dreary normality and in the end you are functioning pretty normally, and saving your wobbles for particular dates (eg date you had planned to tell people, rough scan dates, due date...). But it is a miserable miserable experience and I'm so sorry you are going through it. How are you this mornjng?

Ive been crying this morning but i have a 12 month old and im trying to focus on her. Dont want her to see me upset.
My hubby is really struggling aswell. I can hardly look him in the face.

Hi RoxyLady, I am so sorry for your loss and for the trauma you have had to cope with. I am 4 weeks on from my m/c - slightly different to you as missed miscarriage - went for scan expecting to be 10 weeks and baby only measuring 6 and no heartbeat. Had a week of waiting for rescan and then medical management to miscarry - also contracted and laboured and the "products" (as they called the baby) was stuck in the neck of my womb so was manually extracted. The whole experience was so horrendous and both myself and DH were in shock, my body was in shock and it does take time to even begin to come to terms with it. All I can say is take that time, do not feel bad about needing the time and try to be kind to yourself and not expect too much. Some days will be worse than others. Your 12 month old will give you the reason to get up and carry on. I am still having good and bad days but am now managing to function and am back at work. In the first few weeks I was unable to do anything or face anything. I am so very sorry and I hope you and your DH can get through this, just give yourself time.

So sorry for your loss, not sure we ever move on just learn to "cope" but remember you and your husband are both going through it and need to be there for each other, don't let it hurt your relationship as something like this can bring you closer (it did with me and dh)
xx

Sorry you're going through this at the moment. It's horrible, I know. It does get easier though. 15 months on, life's great and I feel back to my normal positive self, so don't think the emptiness lasts forever, it just becomes part of your story. I found learning to trust my body again far harder than losing the pregnancy. In the meantime, I have had a DD (and pregnancy after mc comes with a whole heap of anxieties). You will get there, but it will be a hell of a lot easier if you talk - to friends and family, people on mumsnet and most importantly mr foxy.