Struggling to cope

[Sazbrilla]

Ive posted a few times before on here thought I would again as getting it out helps. I'm really struggling to cope with my 3 mc's. My current partner has been Good with helping me through the previous (which wasn't his) and the latest which was. But now we are having problems and I don't feel likei can talk to him any more. I just feel so down all the time like I want to cry constantly. I'm so good at putting fake smiles on when I need to but I'm not as good as before. I don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone help.

Well done for posting and I'm sorry you're on this rotten situation. I've only had one mc (Nov at 11.5 weeks) so don't know the pain & frustration you're feeling but I know others who have been through multiple mc will be on soon to share their coping tips. My friend had 3 mcs & is now 7 months pg, just one of many hopefully happy ending stories, but I know she had dark times getting there- and ending up telling lots of people what they were going through as she found suffering in silence unbearable. She also tried to live one day at a time, not one cycle at a time, did her best not to live and die by ov dates etc. Much easier said than done, I'm sure, but she booked in lots of things to distract herself, started learning a language, etc. Encouraged her DP to talk to family and her friends too, as he struggled to talk to his own about it.

Thanks bird.
X

well there is nothing wrong with feeling sad about this, its so unfair and out of your control, so how else do you react?
If you are struggling to get through, then how about going to your GP, do you think that councelling would help you to talk through your feelings?
Its a mountain to climb, and i think that what you are feeling is to be expected

Sazbrilla, I'm so sorry, it's a crappy time for you. I've only had one m/c (when ttc) it's so heartbreaking, I can only imagine what 3 feels like I'm struggling too, so not sure I'm in a great position to give advice on what helps. But I'm always here to listen, I find that does help a lot.

After the first few weeks, life just seemed to go on and people stopped asking about it, so I just stopped talking about it, but actually I still need to talk about it. I've called a counsellor and hopefully will be able to get some sessions there.

I don't even know if it's best to stop ttc, as I'm finding it stressful. And the awful thing is, even if I got pregnant again, the stress wouldn't stop. That's what I find depressing, I can't even see an end to this.

Sorry, I should just shut up now, this is probably not helping you at all! But know that you're not the only one that feels like that.

Though, I would say, try and sort things out with your DP, you need each other. And try your GP for counselling.

Just remembered one thing that does help - exercise. Preferably something strenuous, cardio. I go for a run every w/e, even in this weather!! That definitely does help.

Also I'm eating Low GL - which is good for my mood swings. No caffeine or alcohol though. (But I do have the occasional drink)

I suppose looking after yourself is really important now - make a list of things you enjoy doing, that relax you and try doing at least one a day.

Thank you everyone. Me and dp have started talking about it. He is so supportive but he finds it really difficult to talk about the babies we lost. He can support me and listen to me talk about the first one for as long as I need but with ours it's much more difficult for him. He just keeps it inside and doesn't talk to anyone about it. We talked yesturday about trying again in the future but only when I'm ready and feel I can cope. And those were his words. We have both wanted a family for a while now but feel that it should wait until we both feel ready again.

Hi,

I know how you feel. In the middle of my second mc in 4 months and had another at 21 weeks which was induced labour. I feel so low and have been signed off for a week. I think my anxiety made it worse. I also joined a group of women who are due in Oct. That was a big mistake because the stories of drama and excitement messed with my head too. I am looking into going back to counselling but it didn't really help before. Think I need to change my mind set. Next time I will test ONCE!!! and not get obsessed then try to let things be until 12 weeks. I got so anxious it was all I could think about. I am also looking into seeing if it is something to do with my NK cells or progesterone levels. I have been mean to my poor partner because he is not sad enough and he doesn't know what to do. Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!! The whole thing is a nightmare and then a read about a pregnant woman on crack who's baby survived. Life can be so cruel.

I know what you mean about partner not being sad enough. We are falling apart and they basically just carry on with life and you can't understand how they can do it.

I know but try not to let it come between you. I was a cow yesterday but he said that he just desn't know what to say or what to do. They just don't have the same connection with it and they don't feel like they have faied in anyway. I have woken up this morning with a slightly more positive attitude. I don't want it to take over any more than it already does so I am going to try and do something for me, maybe join a class or something. Just to hae something else to think about and focus on. I am also looking into getting some tests for peace of mind, even if I know there is a possibiity it will happen.

I've been a cow too but I see sense and apologise. Luckily my partner is really understanding.