I'm probably going through a MMC...questions

[CestMoi]

By dates I should now be between 10/11w. Tues eve I started bleeding, not heavy bleeding but enough to freak me out. MW arranged for me to have a scan yesterday, results of which are not good. There was no HB and I'm measuring just about 6w which obviously don't tie in with dates. Sonographer was lovely, said it's either that I've got my dates wrong and it's too early to see much (doubtful) or it's a failed pregnancy (highly likely). They're going to rescan me next Fri, so until then we're in limbo. It's horrid.

Questions. I feel fluey, and exhausted frankly. I know I will probably be feeling shitty due to hormones and emotions but what about the fluey thing, is this normal?

Do I go to work whilst I'm waiting for all this to happen? They don't know, for one reason and another I was putting off telling them for as long as possible. But If I call and tell them I need next week off then I'll have to tell them why.

I am getting increasingly stronger period like pains, am still bleeding - it's got a little heavier but it's more like a light period than anything else. I just feel a bit of a fraud having time off when nothing's actually happening. Work would be a welcome distraction, but at the same time I wouldn't like to have to go through it in the work loo.

Sorry, this is probably all nonsense, but my head is quite a mess. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's all over.

:(
So so sorry you're going through this, it really is awful having to go through it :(

Unfortunately, it sounds like a missed miscarriage, but that your body Is now starting to do what it should have done four weeks ago.

Rest up, and take all the time you need to recover. Speak to your GP if you need some stronger painkillers. I miscarriage at 12 weeks and it was pretty painful.
Personally, I wouldn't go into work, as the bleeding can get pretty heavy and unpleasant and sorry if tmi, but I was changing pads every 20mins at one point. Everyone is different though, and some women feel they need the distraction.
With regard to telling them why you are off, I don't think you need to be too specific really and if you tell HR and your line manager, they shouldn't be broadcasting it round without your say so.

There Is loads of support here, keep talking :)

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Going from my own limited experience I had no fluey/exhausted feelings, at all, just an absence of morning sickness that I didn't really notice stopping if that makes sense.
With regards to work, could you see how you feel on Monday? Work might be a good distraction, but it could be hard to behave as you usually would. Agree with LackaDAISYcal, hopefully HR/yout line manager would be discreet.

Sorry forgot your question about the fluey feelings.
Ime, I was exhausted and took a few weeks off work afterwards, but in hindsight I had been ill for weeks and emotionally all over the place. At the time I assumed it was evil morning sickness, but I've not experienced anything like it since with three further pregnancies, and my first was a breeze, so I think it was probably down to something being wrong for a while before I started bleeding.

hi, I am so sorry for your loss. I have recently been through the same thing. I definitely felt ill, achy, dizzy, headachy, loss of appetite, unable to sleep. I think this process is very hard on the body and mind, and this is your body's way of telling you to take it easy. Do. Mine happened over christmas and I was off work anyway, but I did take a week off after my ERPC. Like other posters have said, the bleeding if / when it comes can be pretty heavy. When mine got bad I sat on the toilet with a cup of tea and MN on my phone. There is no way I could have managed at work. If you don't want to give work all the details you can tell them you have had gynaecological issues. Your GP will sign you off with a note along those lines if you don't want to go into details with work.

Be kind to yourself. This is a really horrible thing to go through, and you will feel different one moment to the next. I've been fine for weeks, and then had a significant wobble emotionally the last couple of days. There are a lot of us here who are or have going through the same thing, so we're all around to offer support if you want it.

Hi, so sorry to hear what you're going through. Am going through similar myself at the mo, although I only had a small amount of bleeding. Technically am 9+1 now, but at scan on thurs, foetus was only 6mm. like you, I have felt ill for about a fortnight, which ties in near enough with when it stopped growing. I have had a bad cold, but defo also had flu like symptoms, head ache, loss of appetite, loss of energy etc etc. I am due to go back to hosp on thurs for a rescan, but same as you know my dates were right and in my hear of hears am sure that the pg has failed to progress this time.

I have told a colleague, but not my line manager as he is an arse. I think I might tell his manager though, so that someone more senior knows what's going on.

Sending best wishes to you all.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I'm so very sorry for those who are going or have gone through this. Wouldn't wish it on anybody.

I am still in limbo here - bleeding is no heavier, pains come and go but that's it. Still getting the nausea in the morning etc. my body is playing unkind tricks on me. I don't know what/when to expect something to happen and I'm finding that harder to deal with than anything at the moment.

I did tell work in the end and they were all very nice about it. I'd rather not have had to but at least this way I'm left alone to deal with it.

EthelredOnAGoodDay sorry you've got to wait it out too. Such a horrid time, I hope you're being well looked after.

Hi, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how bad it feels waiting for something to happen. When I had this situation and I lost the baby, it was a relief when the doctor did a DandC. He was able to do tests which told me exactly why I had miscarried. Invaluable at the time as I then knew that on both occasions it was an unavoidable problem. I'm not sure if they do this on the NHS as I had mine privately but I am happy to give you details if you need more info on this. Btw, I now have a healthy DD and DS so stay strong and don't lose hope!!