I should shut up, i know i should, but its always there. In my head, so just for the time being, i was wondering if i could whine to you all?

[gigglepin]

My baby should have been due in about 3 weeks.
It ws my 6th mc.

Ive got loads of stress at work, loads going on, which helps some days actually as my mind is completely taken up and crammed packed with my work.

I have a gorgeous 8 year old, lovely dh, gorgeous home, no money worries and for all of this i am very very grateful. Some of the posts on here are just heart wrenching, so i do know how fortunate i am.

My luck it seems is with life in general, but not with this ttc palarva.
Its a trade off i suppose.

With everything going on at work, i just want to scream at them all "fuck off and leave me alone" but none of them are bothered, dont even remember, why should they..life goes on.

Theres a girl who is due in about 6 weeks, with a healthy huge bump, i find myself staring at it like a freak.

Im ok, and will be, its all done now, but even tho i am grateful and happy, i do struggle some days, today is one of those days.

Ok, as you were. Im done x

Surely this is what MN is here for. A good whine when you need it. Nothing further to say, but sending a huge hug.

Hugs, it hurts!

I have no words of comfort, as no words will make it better

Just know that there is some of us that have been there, and know, and understand what you are going through

Yes, life is good, and its nice to have have everything that you've already got. It doesn't make wanting more DC any less though, or the losses any less painful

Have a ((((((((((huge hug)))) and I hope you feel better for getting it out of your head

I remember just how that felt, it will be 12 years in 3 weeks time. I lost baby number 11.

I am pleased to say DS was born the following year.

I had two DDS before the MCs, I always thought if I had done it before I could do it again.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

This is what we are all here for, to get understanding from people going through the same things.
So sorry for your losses, I don't think we should have to trade in anything for wanting our basic desires as women, I too have a great dh and a home etc we may not be debt free or have plenty of money but we both work hard and want a family and we have plenty of love if not money!!
I too would have been due the end of February from my first mc, I am lucky that I work in a small place and everyone remembers and they are so lovely and I wish everyone could have work colleagues as fantastic as me and I'm so sorry that life is getting you down and I wish you all the best of luck for the future xx

My thoughts are with you, I would have been due in March[ MC August] not a day goes by that I dont think about it.

Mine was in 2008 and i still think about it everyday :-(
its different for everyone but i know the day to day pain and frustration.
I can't say it will miraculously get better because i don't know. but i do fine hugs and wine help a lot :-)

I am so sorry for everyone who has loved and lost. You never do forget. My first (junior) would have been due 5years ago boxing day just gone, and i still think about her and the second one i lost (littley), due 26th march. I remember them at anniversarries and sometimes i look at my little boy, now 18months and wonder what his brother and sister would have been like. Although i was too early on to know whether it was a girl or a boy, i have always believed the first was a girl, second a boy and knew before my first scan that my little boy was a boy, i did have it confirmed at my 20week scan, but i already knew!

The pain never goes, it is always there, and some people say it fades, or gets easier, but it doesnt, you just learn to live with it, or thats what i have done. anyway.

It is good to talk, rant, cry whatever you feel the necessity to do and you will feel like this especially being your due date so close.

Again sorry for your loses.

x

I, too send my love. I know what you are going through. Have had 4 miscarriages (and one beautiful daughter,) and would be having a little one in march if all had gone to plan. Have been tested and all seems normal, which in some ways seems worse, as it just seems to be 'bad luck'. Keep looking at pregnant friends etc and feel like it's so unfair. Just sad. And feel bad moaning as I am really lucky to have one. Hey ho. Chin up. Some days gonna be worse than others, but will get easier I'm sure.

Just because you have a child it doesnt stop you greiving or thinking about the ones you lost. I still do, and i still cry over them especially on their due dates, 26th december and 26th march, it felt like a weird coincidence i found out on 28th july with the first that it had no heartbeat and my midwifes appointment had been on the 26th and then 2 years later o august 26th i found that the 2nd had no heartbeat. Junior and littley, will be in my head and heart forever, they were both between 8 and 9 weeks when their hearts stopped beating. I saw the second ones heart beating at 5weeks and 6 days and it still hurts now. The pain is still there. I cry alot when i think of them and occasionally wonder what they would have been like, whether i would have gone on to have my gorgeous baby son or not. Time heals some things but still hasnt healed me of this yet. You are only human feeling this way.

Love to all of you that have loved and lost.
x

Oh I know exactly how you feel, I would also have been due in 3 weeks and I am actually really looking forward to getting that date out of the way so I can stop noticing bumps that are at the same stage as me! I don;t think it will ever leave me, this horrible sadness.

Like you and others I have lucked out in other areas of life, nice DH, my dream home, no money worries, lovely family and yet it all feels pointless with the one thing I most desire in the world, to be a mother. I wonder around our beautiful house that we bought with DCs in mind and wonder if it will be forever empty :(

Huge hugs to you and everyone else on here that is struggling. p.s. I also get the 'oh fuck of and leave me the fuck alone' feeling at worl. A lot!