very early miscarriage - question about what to expect

[kalidasa]

I seem to be having a very early miscarriage. This would have been my first pregnancy and I have a question about what to expect. Apologies for graphic detail.

I have charted my cycles for ages (used it as contraception for a long time) and I always have a very clear temp shift after ovulation so I am sure of my dates. I also felt quite unwell (sick and dizzy and just weird) from very early on so thought I was probably pregnant. I had an ambiguous test (disappearing positive) on 12 dpo, spotted for a few days, and then a faint positive on 17dpo when the spotting had stopped and my period had failed to appear. On the evening of 18dpo I had some really bad news totally unexpectedly (my sister was diagnosed with cancer) and yesterday morning (19dpo) I very suddenly started to bleed and then to cramp. It wasn't very very heavy - not as bad as I expected - but lasted all day (what a great week!).

This morning I still have cramps - not too bad but noticeable - but so far there's been just one spot of blood and a pinkish tinge when I wipe. Overall I seem to have lost quite a bit less blood than I would in a normal period, and (TMI alert) it's all been completely liquid, whereas at the beginning of a normal period I always see some clots/small pieces of tissue. Am I right in assuming that this means there's quite a bit more to come? And can anyone tell me whether a v. early miscarriage at this stage - not even quite five weeks - will be no worse than a heavy-ish period or should I brace myself for something more unpleasant?

Sorry for such an explicit question. I know my mother had quite a few miscarriages (as well as five of us!) but I can't ask her right now as she doesn't know about my sister yet and I can't really face talking to her about something relatively minor like this with this other huge issue in the background.

Miscarriage isnt minor. I am sorry i cant really help you, wish i could. Maybe do another pregnancy test in a few days?

Thanks for replying Ellen. I don't really have any doubt that the pregnancy has failed, I'm just surprised I haven't bled more so far and wondering if I should expect to do so. We had some plans for the weekend and I'd like to get on with things but I don't want to be caught out by a sudden flood.

Are you absolutely certain it is a MC and not just a bedding in bleed? Have you done another test? If not, I would wait a few days and do another with first morning MSU.

A MC can range from just a few spots and nothing more, to about the same as your period, to lots of clots and blood and cramps. And where in the pg you are doesn't always determine the amount of loss IYSWIM

As Ellen said, a MC isn't a minor thing. Yes, your sister is going through a bad time, but that doesn't diminish your own worries

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, but unfortunately all you can re

so early on it would just be like a period, maybe a bit heavier. don't rush to retest as can take a while to appear as a negative.
look after yourself

I wouldn't be certain it's a MC. The only way to tell is to get a scan. I had a MMC and had very odd bleeding, all different colours and textures, sometimes massive clots, sometimes painless, sometimes horrendous pain and no blood. And very stop start. A pg test will not really tell you anything unless it's negative, and even then you can get a false negative.

Thanks everyone. I don't have any tests left and I'm reluctant to do one at the moment as I think either way would be upsetting - a negative is always depressing and a positive would just confirm that I had been pregnant if you see what I mean. So I'd rather leave it really. My temps are also still quite high and I expect them to drop in the next day or so, but if they didn't then I suppose I would do another one then.

Anyway, it's helpful to know that the amount of bleeding can really vary so I don't necessarily have to expect a large amount at any moment. I've had a couple more small bleeds so far today but nothing too bad.

Thanks again for all the feedback, very helpful.

Hi Kalidasa

Very sorry to hear what you are going through. I had a MC in Dec at 4w 4d, and hope that my experience will be of some use to you during this difficult time as there are so many similarities with your situation.

Like you, I was very aware of my cycle and became pregnant quite quickly after treatment for a condition which can cause infertility. I had symptoms from very early on (strange stabbing pains, nausea and just feeling generally feeling 'odd') and so by the time I got a BFP on 14dpo I had already had an inkling for over a week that I was pregnant.

I was a bit stressed about the pains I was getting but wasn't unduly worried about miscarrying. Then about 4 days later while I was at work, I had a sudden feeling of foreboding, combined with a conviction that I was no longer pregnant. This was followed soon after by a single sharp pain 'down below' and the bleeding started.

To cut what could be a very long story a bit shorter, the bleeding lasted for a week, and I spent the first 2/3 days of that at home mostly in bed. It was kind of like a period, but hard to cope with psychologically as I was so utterly heartbroken when things started to go wrong. Now for the TMI bit - was hard to tell if it was significantly heavier than normal as don't normally use pads, but it was reasonably manageable (compared to the experiences of others I have read about), although lots of clotting and didn't want to stray far from bedroom/loo for those first few days.

Aside from feeling very sad and upset, I was also utterly wiped out and spent a lot of time asleep. I returned to work around day 4 (waited until I had gone 24 hours without bursting into tears) but had to leave early a few times in order to come home and sleep for rest of they day!

I did another test a couple of days after the bleeding had stopped as although I knew it was all over, I started to get returning pregnancy symptoms, which was really confusing. It was negative, and I think that helped draw a line underneath things a bit.

As we all know, bleeding doesn't necessarily mean things have gone totally wrong, and, as Bonzo said, testing won't necessarily tell you what's going on. I tried to accept early on that there was no hope (unlike you, the bleeding was constant, and kicked in with a vengeance after a few hours), but I have heard of a lot of women for whom things have worked out fine, so I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

A few weeks on, things settled down a lot and all the pregnancy symptoms/hormonal madness has faded, although it did take a little while (possibly because my hormones were a bit all over the shop anyway thanks to medical condition). Period returned as normal a couple of weeks later, and ovulation signs kicked in too at expected time.

I really hope you aren't left in limbo for too long - it is such a desperately stressful time, especially when you don't have clear answers about what is happening. Take care, and please let me know if I can be of any more help.

Thanks gorgona that's really helpful - as you say, the timing is so similar, I would have been 4w5d yesterday when I started bleeding. So far the bleeding is really very manageable. i don't have any proper sanitary towels as I usually use a moon cup, so have been getting by today with panty liners and tissue paper. So really not heavy and not constant, more a series of small bleeds.

If you were charting your temps during your mc, how long did it take for your temperature to come down? I'm not sure whether to keep taking it or to leave it for a week or so while things settle down.

The main thing I am feeling is completely exhausted physically, and emotionally very fragile (but there's the issue with my sister too so I suppose that's not surprising). I'm glad you mentioned how tired you felt. It seems a bit disproportionate to be so wiped out as the bleeding is very manageable really, but I suppose there must be a big change in hormones as well as the emotional element.

Hi Kalidasa - I'm very sorry about your sister (meant to say this in my last post but forgot) - and it's terrible that you are having to deal with both of these upsetting things at the same time.

I have never charted - but the month I got pregnant I used an ovulation kit for the first time (which actually just confirmed that I was definitely ovulating around the time I thought I was). Being 40 already and with questionable fertility (and no DC yet) plus a partner who lives away during the week I needed all the help I can get!

So I have no idea about temperatures during the MC I'm afraid. The things that made me certain I had definitely MC'd were the sudden loss of pregnancy symptoms (even the boob pains disappeared almost immediately) and the shift in pain from sharp/stretching pains on the front of my stomach to more of a very low pain which felt like everything was opening up.

Have you been to see a doctor yet at all? Looking back, I think about 95% of the advice/info which really helped me came from this site and reading about others who had been through similar (am so grateful). I didn't find my GP surgery overly helpful, but it's difficult as there's not much they can do as too early for scan etc.

I think that whatever the outcome you will have to go with the exhaustion for now and allow your body to rest as much as possible - I was so shocked at how much it wiped me out. Make yourself comfortable and I hope you have one or two people nearby who you can call on if you need help who understand what is happening to you?

Regarding the early pregnancy symptoms you experienced, do you still have them at all?

I did still feel pretty pregnant when we went out for a bit last night (sick, dizzy etc) but I think my progesterone is only dropping quite slowly as my temp this morning - though lower - is still above the cover line and yesterday and the day before it was way above. I'm pretty sure in my case most of the symptoms were a reaction to extra progesterone rather than HCG because they started very early despite getting only a faint positive test on 17dpo.

Actually I'm pleased that my temperature is now clearly on the way down, even if it's taken a while, as I'm confident that I'll feel better once it's properly down. And although I'm sad about the very early loss, it was actually only our first attempt (on New Year's Eve!) and with everything else going on I'm looking forward to at least a few weeks feeling more like myself. I was quite shocked how soon after conception I felt sick, giddy and emotionally odd - really quite ill. There's a lot of hyperemesis in the family and I was really worried about that, not to mention pretty taken aback to have conceived so quickly. I think it will be a bit easier to handle the family stuff if I'm not feeling so unwell, and I'll be more practical use to my sister too.

My partner is very supportive, and although he was delighted when we thought I was pregnant - not to mention super-smug about his virility! - he'll be pleased I'm sure that we get to ttc again . . .

I haven't seen a GP because we only moved house last week - such a restful few days this has been! - and I'm not registered yet. I will probably just mention it when I do register rather than go along specially since there's not much they can do.

I think it also helps that, although I don't feel I can talk to my mother about this at the moment, she has always been very open and straightforward about her miscarriages (I think about one for each of her (five!) successful pregnancies). So we grew up understanding that it was a natural part of having a family, which is really helping me assimilate this now.

Thanks again for your response which has helped a lot.

I clicked on here to ask almost the exaxct same question. We are on first month of properly trying and thrilled to have got a BFP a week ago today (which was day period due and 13dpo)

Very faint BFP on Sunday last week on Internet cheapies
gradually darker until Thursday.

Since then the line has been the same faint but clearly visible. Also done a clearblue digital everyday since wednesaday and it's still reading pregnant 1-2 weeks.

So, I should be coming up for 5 weeks but have faint but unchanging bfps, no sore boobs, nor any more pregnancy symptoms. I've had alittle spottig each day (brown cm-no fresh blood, and very small amounts). Anyone experienced this?

I know this can't be a viable pregnancy, but I hate having to act pregnant just in case ( managed to smuggle a bottle of grape juice into a party and looked like I was getting sloshed on white wine all night - sneeky, but highly effective!)

I think, like op, I'll get a bleed soon, but would be good to know if anyone else has had this? I also have no idea what to expect.

Sorry to hear that MrsTangerineMan, though I don't think you should assume the pregnancy isn't viable. I'm not sure faint-ish pregnancy tests really mean much as long as they are still positive, and lots of people don't get much in the way of symptoms until 6 weeks I don't think. (I suspect my strong early symptoms were related to a family history of hyperemesis.)

So I hope you'll be fine, but just in case you're right and it's useful to know, I also had fairly light brown blood spotting - that was days 14-16 for me; day 14 was also the day I hit a new higher temp level so I suspect I implanted very late (too late) on day 13 and that spotting was implantation.

The spotting stopped and there was no bleeding at all for a few days. I got a very faint positive on 17 dpo (after a negative on 15dpo, though both were the middle of the day). I did notice that my morning temperature had dropped slightly (though still high) on the morning of day 18. The bleeding started very abruptly at about 9 in the morning of day 19.

Actually the bleeding has really been very manageable, I have surprised to find it actually slightly lighter than an ordinary period - I'd say a medium flow for one day, lighter the next, spotting the third and nothing today at all. In fact it's been so unremarkable that I have been wondering whether there is more to come. But so far it's really been pretty untraumatic. I had cramps for two days (whereas on my period I only have cramp for the first day).

In my case, setting aside the emotional aspect, I actually felt quite a lot better almost immediately - certainly within 24 hours - because I had been feeling so sick and unwell. I suppose that was the progesterone dropping.

But honestly I don't think the spotting in itself is anything to worry about. Hope you have better luck than me and it all turns out well!

I had an early miscarriage. We were trying and I was distraught. I started spotting on the Saturday and then by the Monday evening I started bleeding. It was no heavier than a normal period. There was a little bit of clotting but nothing major. I'm sorry for your loss x

Thanks LiamsMummy that's reassuring that you also found the bleeding wasn't very heavy. I only really bled for two days, then spotted for one. I suppose when it's very early it can be quite straightforward physically, although still very upsetting of course. I'm hoping it's over for me now.

It really affected me. Even now I think what they would of been like... I did get pregnant 2 months later and I now have a baby boy. I was so scared it would happen again and that something would go wrong. Until it happened to me I never realised how common it was.. I hope you start to feel better soon xx

Thanks for responding LiamsMummy and particularly for mentioning that you got pregnant successfully so soon after, that's really encouraging! It is surprising how common it is, I suppose people don't talk about it much (and also I suppose people are more likely to be sure about what happened, now that home pregnancy tests are so sensitive. I imagine in the past a lot of women might have suspected but not been sure.)

It was reassuring to me. It's a horrible thing to go through. But my mum always said that it was better happening now than later on... I didn't want to hear that but thinking back she was right. I hope you have every success when you try again!