Why always me????

[Sazbrilla]

Just had my 3rd mc a few days ago. Am completely devestated. I just don't feel like myself any more. Am I seriously doing something wrong? My partner keeps telling me not to blame myself and that if it was supposed to happen it will. But in an argument a month or so ago ( before this mc) he told me that my baby from previous mc was better off where it was. That cut me like a knife and I felt betrayed by him. Is that normal?

saz I am so so sorry, its awful and have a big hug.

Given that it is your 3rd MC the hospital should now be running some tests to find a potential cause. Can they test the baby as well to see if there was a genetic abnormality? If a cause is found there are often some very simple and effective treatments available.

As for your partner, I am afraid his behaviour is absolutely shocking and you are right to feel betrayed and hurt, what a cruel thing to say! We all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment but this is particularly cruel. It is normal to argue a bit more after a MC, you are probably both hurting but you need to discuss this with him as its incredibly hurtful.

Have another hug and I hope you get some answers

So sorry Sazbrilla,my husband has also said some hurtful things following my mc,along the lines of me not being able to cope with the children that we have already so it would be worse with another one! He doesn't seem to understand that the reason I've been so stressed out with the children lately is because of what has happened.

I hope you can talk to your partner and wish you all the very best for the future x

so sorry OP

Thanks all. "far" thanks you for Making me see I'm not in the wrong by feeling this way. It's so hurtful that he could say this about our baby. He eventually said sorry but this was after he told me I have to get over my previous mc. In my eyes it's easier for him to say than it is for me to do. "sooz" I'm so sorry that you had a similar problem with your husband. Is it so hard for them to understand we just need them to let us talk, for them to talk to us and sometimes for them to just hold us while we have a little cry.